


Invisible Scars

by grayseeker



Series: Unbroken [5]
Category: The Transformers (Cartoon Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: BDSM, Bathing/Washing, Bondage, Dom/sub, Emotional Baggage, Enemies as lovers, Fanart, Flying, Food Sex, Giant Robots doing yoga, Gun play, Hiding Medical Issues, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Light Sadism, M/M, Reunions, Secret Relationship, Sticky Sexual Interfacing, Transformers Spark Bonds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2018-10-29 16:54:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 64,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10858164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grayseeker/pseuds/grayseeker
Summary: Loving your enemy is never easy. Reunited on Mars, Starscream and Skyfire know they have one chance to mend their fractured relationship and find a way forward. The war can't wait long, though, and a gathering storm is bringing forces into play that could wrench them apart forever.





	1. Stargazing

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks [Biting_Moopie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/biting_moopie/pseuds/biting_moopie), [Dark Star of Chaos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkDecepticon/pseuds/Dark%20Star%20Of%20Chaos) and [Skywinder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skywinder/) for being an incredible support throughout this project, patiently reading and commenting on multiple drafts as I struggled to find my way with this story. You are all amazing, and it's no exaggeration to say that I couldn't have done this without you. Thanks also to the amazingly talented [Taiyari](http://taiyari.tumblr.com/) for giving me permission to use her gorgeous artwork for this story.

  


_"See?" Skyfire says, pointing upward. "Those are its wings, there."_

_Starscream, who is huddled against him for warmth, narrows his optics. "I_ don't _," he replies at length. "It's just a bunch of stars."_

_"The bright red one," Skyfire persists. "That's the center of its thorax, like a spark. And below," he pauses, glancing at Starscream with a smile, "is the acid stinger-tail."_

_"_ Those _I definitely remember," Starscream says, making a sour face, "but I still say that this," he gestures toward the constellation, "is just a bunch of stars you've picked at random."_

_Skyfire smiles. "Maybe."_

_The wind is picking up, swirling flecks of ice in the dark air. Starscream shivers, burrowing against him, and Skyfire drapes an arm over his frame, tucking the thermal blanket more firmly around both of them. Soon they'll have to retreat to their shelter, but for now…_

_Skyfire's gaze strays back to the glittering constellation. "To me," he adds softly, "it will always be my Dragonfly."_

«-o-« {∞} »-o-»

This wasn't going to end well. Starscream had known that from the moment he'd arrived on Mars, yet somehow he'd ended up here, in Skyfire's washracks, anyway. "This is going to hurt," he whispered. It was a reminder for himself as much as for Skyfire. 

Skyfire folded an arm over him, tucking him close under the spray. "Yes. That's the part we don't have a choice about."

"But there's a part we _do_?"

"Oh yes." A large thumb glided against Starscream's lower lip, tugging down. "May I show you?"

Skyfire had dimmed the lights, causing the mosaic of luma-stones that decorated the ceiling of his washracks to light up like a canopy of stars. It reminded Starscream of the dream that had haunted his recharge cycles ever since they'd lost each other. The one where they held each other in starry silence, together and free. When Skyfire leaned in to claim the kiss, it was impossible not to melt. 

Skyfire's kisses always had this effect on him. That had been his undoing during their encounter in the Decepticon brig several Earth months prior, and it had been again, not half a joor ago, when he'd crashed Skyfire to the floor of this base's antechamber and—rather than yelling at him as he'd meant to—had ended up taking him, right there in the dust. Then again, surely any mistake worth making was worth making twice.

Skyfire's kisses were migrating downward, over Starscream's jaw, then his throat and his chest. When Skyfire sank to his knees, branding kisses as he went, Starscream momentarily lost his frame of reference. He swayed, grasping the crest of Skyfire's helm for balance. Normally that would be seen as a dominant gesture, and Starscream was relieved when Skyfire seemed to interpret it as such. He uttered a soft growl and nuzzled Starscream's codpiece, nipping at the hinge mechanisms that held it shut. 

"We did this last time," he added, when Starscream didn't immediately respond. "This is all right, isn't it? This is protocol?"

It was. Getting sucked off in the showers was _more_ than protocol; in Starscream's world it was practically a tradition, but the nape of his neck had begun to throb and the 'stars' were blurring into swirling lines that swam through his vision. He shook himself. He'd better get his act together, or… well, he wasn't sure what, except that the crushing pain at the back of his neck was an uncomfortable reminder of where he'd been, and who he'd been _with_ , before coming here. 

"Sky…" His tanks lurched, but he opened his codpiece anyway. "You may."

Skyfire hummed, delight palpable in his field as he trailed kisses up the underside of Starscream's sheathed spike. He vented warm air over it, then fit his lips to the crown, swirling his glossa in slow, tender sweeps. It felt… amazing. As amazing as it always did when Skyfire did this to him, but for some reason, Starscream's spike wasn't getting the memo. It responded with a twitch here and there, but the main thrust of his arousal was spiraling inward, coalescing in that deeper, forbidden part of himself that only one mech was allowed to access. He fought to channel the arousal back toward his spike, but it was no use.

"Sky," he said, trying to think how best to put this. "This isn't going to wor—" His knees buckled, and Skyfire caught him around the waist. 

"Are you all right?"

"I'm…" _Frag!_ Starscream pushed himself upright, using Skyfire's broad shoulders for balance. His faceplates were burning, and every droplet of water hitting his frame seemed to leave a distinct, almost painful impression. "This isn't going to happen," he muttered, reaching for his codpiece. 

Skyfire stopped his hand. "Let me." He dropped a soft, regretful kiss on the tip of Starscream's spike, then reverently tucked it back in its housing. "Sorry, love. I didn't consider how tired you must be after such a long flight."

 _Love_. That word seemed to flow from him so easily, Starscream thought. Almost as if it still meant something.

Skyfire rose and took hold of his arm. "Come on, sit," he encouraged, guiding Starscream toward the stone bench-seats that ringed the bathing pool. 

"I don't need to _sit_ ," Starscream growled, twisting free. "I just need—"

The room tipped sideways. Starscream held himself very still, waiting for the stars to stop their giddy dance, then hobbled to the steps unassisted. He sat down without keeling over, and decided to count it as a win. 

Skyfire dropped to a crouch before him. "Is something wrong?" he asked, his field radiating concern. "How are you feeling?" He reached to touch Starscream's face, but Starscream pushed his hand away.

"Stop _fussing_ ," Starscream grumbled. "I'm fine! I just need a few kliks, that's all." Count on Skyfire to interpret his little… _difficulty_ as cause to be concerned over his health. Not that he would have preferred mockery, but still. 

"You don't _look_ fine," Skyfire said, frowning. "You're overheated, for one thing. I can feel it from here. There's also a heavy buildup of static in your field. Have you been under… stress, lately?"

Starscream gawked at him—and then couldn't help himself. He burst out laughing. " _Stress_? The mech who's been tormenting me for months is asking if I'm _stressed_? That's rich, Skyfire."

"I didn't mean to… torment you," Skyfire said. "I wanted for us to talk."

"And so we are—for all the good it's going to do." 

Skyfire had wasted little time in figuring out that the area of Earth's Arctic where he'd crashed, one hundred and eight thousand vorns previously, had a dampening effect on their bond. It wasn't just a normal quieting of the bond, but a total, crushing silence akin to death, and Skyfire—the fragger—had used that knowledge to ruthless advantage by flying to the area and waiting for Starscream to come and investigate. Starscream had managed to resist, for the most part, but Skyfire's shenanigans had ensured that he hadn't had a decent recharge cycle in months.

"Look Sky," Starscream added, "This… _us_ … isn't going to work and we both know it. I should never have come." He tried pushing to his feet, but his gyros rebelled. Skyfire caught his arm.

"Don't go," Skyfire said. "Please. At least stay for the night. You _did_ promise to teach me how to fight." 

That was a blatant ploy to keep him there, and they both knew it. Skyfire had as much interest in learning the finer points of aerial combat as Starscream had in switching his wings for wheels and becoming a ground vehicle, but could Starscream fly back to Earth right now, even if he tried? Maybe a rest _would_ help, by giving his sluggish self-repair system a chance to do its job.

Starscream vented a sigh. "Maybe just for the night," he conceded. 

Skyfire beamed. There really was no other word for it. The smile that broke across his features was like sunlight breaking through clouds, and even his field seemed to glow. "Thank you." He kissed Starscream's forehelm. "Stay there, I have an idea." He rose, shut off the water, and bounded up the steps. Starscream fought a surge of unreasoning panic as Skyfire disappeared from his field of view. 

"Where are you going?" he demanded. He craned his neck trying to see what Skyfire was doing, but it hurt so much that he gave up. Damn. 

"You'll see," Skyfire called. He was making rummaging noises, which at least served as an assurance that he hadn't left the room. Not that Starscream was worried about that, of course. He wasn't at all concerned about being abandoned due to his inability to perform, or… anything. _That_ would be ridiculous.

Starscream gripped the edge of the step, fighting the urge to reach back and make sure the nano-patch he'd applied before leaving Earth was still in place. The persistent dizziness suggested that his gyros weren't healing as quickly as they should be, and he would probably have to get the injury looked at once he got back to the _Victory_. That would mean enduring one of Hook's insufferable lectures about how certain kinds of damage were a waste of resources; as if Starscream had _asked_ to be slammed face-first into one of the Command Center consoles, for Pits' sake.

 _Pull it together_ , he told himself. _You can do this._

The question was, do what? He'd come to Mars meaning to give Skyfire a piece of his mind. Not only had Skyfire not flown far away, as Starscream had told him to do during their most recent encounter, but he'd compounded his stupidity by lingering _here_ in this backwater solar system, which was fast becoming a battlefield. It was a matter of time before the war found him, and with Skyfire having now left the Autobots, he was defenseless.

 _And then I came along_ , Starscream thought. His presence was making the situation worse, wasn't it? Rather than convincing Skyfire to do the smart thing by leaving, he'd somehow done the opposite. Inadvertently, he'd given Skyfire false hope that there was something between them that could be salvaged—and there wasn't. Just an old relic of a bond, as anachronistic in this day and age as belief in ancient magical talismans such as the so-called Matrix. He and Skyfire could _frag_ , but that didn't mean things between them would return to the way they'd been in the time before— 

The lights in the room brightened, making him flinch. Skyfire landed in front of him with a whoosh of antigravs, carrying a small metal tub. He set it down and began pulling out various cloths, brushes, and cleansing agents which he began to arrange on the step above the one on which Starscream was sitting. As a final touch, he added a pair of tightly rolled textile bundles that looked like dry-cloths, only much bigger.

"Dare I ask what you're doing?" Starscream asked.

"Preparing a bath."

"A _what_?"

"A bath." Skyfire selected a tube of foaming solvent, squirted some into the empty tub and carried it over to the taps. "I'm going to wash you."

"You're going to _what_?"

Skyfire glanced back. "What's wrong? Is bathing against your… ah, protocol?"

Starscream huffed. "It's not _my_ protocol, it's just protocol! Like the force of gravity. It just _is_. And no, bathing isn't covered."

"So… it's all right, then," Skyfire said with a smile, as he activated the taps. A rich lather bubbled up and a soothing, oddly familiar scent wafted out. "We used to do this all the time," he added. "Don't you remember?"

"No, I do not," Starscream muttered, though his memory banks were already plying him with images of the washracks aboard their skybarge; recollections of that same, familiar scent woven through memories of the leisurely shared baths that had so often served as the prelude for passion. But that had been a different world; a different Starscream. "Warriors don't bathe," he said.

Skyfire looked amused. "How do they get clean, then?"

"Solvent spray-showers, obviously. Or sonic levitation chambers. Why don't you build one of those? You could vibrate the dirt off, and not have to waste time extracting water from the permafrost."

"As it happens, I'm working on a sonic levitation chamber," Skyfire replied. "Well. I _was_ , until it imploded. It was scaled more for keeping my tools and equipment dust-free, though I might eventually build one that's big enough for a mech to stand in. For now, though…" The tub spilled over, and Skyfire shut off the taps. "I find this method works fine. It's very pleasant, for all it might lack in efficiency."

"That's not the point!" Starscream leaped up, ignoring the seasick lurch of his gyros. "You're acting like nothing's changed! As if we can just go back to the way things were! Well, guess what? We're in the middle of a war, and thanks to you, we're on opposite sides of it!"

"I…" Skyfire paused. "Wait—thanks to _me_?"

Starscream gave him a hard look. Deciding that no, he wasn't going to have _that_ argument again, he said, "The point is that universe has changed, Sky, and I have too. I'm not your… your _love_ anymore."

Skyfire was quiet for a moment. "Is that what this is about?" he asked finally. "You think I can't love you the way you are now?"

"This isn't about love, Sky! How can I get this through your head? I'm here because I'm supposed to kill you!"

"Yes," Skyfire replied. "You did tell me that." 

So Skyfire _had_ been listening earlier, when Starscream had pounced on him in the antechamber. Though apparently, it hadn't sunk in.

"That doesn't _bother_ you?" Starscream asked. "You can't see the slightest _problem_ with having invited an assassin into your Martian stronghold?"

"To be fair," Skyfire countered, "I didn't exactly invite you. The main doors seem to have opened of their own accord."

"And then you gave me the passcode! This isn't a joke, Sky! I'm your sworn enemy! Have you given this _any_ thought whatsoever?"

"Yes," Skyfire said after a pause. "I have."

"And the conclusion you arrived at was that your assassin needs a _bath_?"

Skyfire glanced at the tub, then at Starscream. "Well, you do need one," he said, lips twitching in a half-smile. "But I wouldn't call that a conclusion, per se. More of a—"

" _Sky_!"

"All right." Skyfire sobered. "What I've concluded, after much thought, is that if it came right down to it I would prefer to die by your hand than to live as your enemy."

"Well maybe you should have thought about that before you decided to switch sides!" Starscream snarled, trying to quell the shudder that spanned his wings.

Skyfire opened his mouth as if to retort, then closed it again as if he'd changed his mind. Starscream suddenly felt infinitely tired.

"You said there's a part we have a choice about," he said, "but I'm not seeing it. I have to go, Sky." He turned away, but Skyfire caught his arm. 

"Please," he said. "Don't."

Starscream knew he should keep walking. He could probably make it back to Earth if he managed his fuel supplies carefully, and if he couldn't make it the whole way, he could always call on Astrotrain. Convince the dim-witted fool that he'd crashed, or been attacked, or… something. It wouldn't be hard. But his legs weren't moving and he seemed rooted to the spot, anchored by the large, warm hand on his arm. It was as if Skyfire had his own gravity that just kept pulling Starscream in, no matter how hard he tried to resist.

"Starscream," Skyfire said in a low voice. "Since I woke from the ice, I've spent a lot of time trying to be something I'm not. I tried to be a Decepticon, and then I tried to be an Autobot. I failed at both. In the process I learned that what I am; and that's yours."

Starscream wrenched free and spun around, glaring at him—and found himself drawn, like a moth, into the serene blue pilot-flame of Skyfire's gaze. What did Skyfire think he saw when he looked at him like that? Not someone Starscream would recognize as himself.

"For better or for worse," Skyfire added in a low voice.

"Worse," Starscream croaked, fighting down another wave of dizziness. "You know it's going to be worse."

"Possibly," Skyfire agreed. "If you really have to go, I understand. But at least let me wash you first. You can't go back looking like _that_."

Starscream glanced down. The shower spray had washed off the worst of the dust he'd picked up in the antechamber, but a streaky layer of reddish grime still dulled his finish. His chest, too, carried a generous spattering of sticky residue from their fragging, something that would be more than a little hard to explain to Astrotrain, or, Primus forbid, Megatron.

"Fine," Starscream growled, and sat. "I'll stay for tonight." It was a practical decision, he told himself. Nothing more. 

Skyfire nodded. Moving cautiously, he set the tub on the step next to Starscream, dipped one of the cleaning cloths in the soapy water and wrung it out. "Here," he said, holding it out to Starscream. "This one's yours."

"What? I have to do this myself now?"

"Well… I thought protocol might dictate that you should take care of some areas yourself."

Starscream snatched the cloth and glared until Skyfire, taking the hint, busied himself preparing a second cloth. He set about scrubbing between his thighs, and then, for good measure, did his pectoral turbine casings as well.

"Turbines are off-limits too?" Skyfire asked, clearly watching him from the corner of his optical field.

Starscream shrugged. "You could say that." 

It wasn't exactly true, but close enough. The sexual protocol governing intimate relations between Decepticon warriors had little to say about erogenous zones unique to flier frames, but Starscream's turbines, in particular, seemed to seemed to enjoy a direct neural connection to his valve, and Pits knew that particular part of his body didn't need any further encouragement.

Skyfire, seeming to accept the boundary without question, started cleaning one of Starscream's shoulder-mounted jet intakes. Starscream quivered as the warm cloth glided down its length in slow, gentle sweeps. It felt… _so_ good, in ways that he couldn't remember having felt in… well, one hundred and eight thousand vorns. Give or take. 

_Tomorrow_ , he reminded himself. In the morning, he'd tell Skyfire it was over. Find some way of convincing him that the was no possible future in this… this _thing_ they were doing. That he should fly as far away as possible, as Starscream had told him to do, and never come back. Tomorrow. 

But for now… Starscream hunched into the warmth, his sensory world narrowing to the slow, gentle sweeps of the cloth and the enveloping warmth of Skyfire's field. Skyfire hummed as he worked, the tune maddeningly familiar. He seemed utterly content in the moment, as if he'd somehow failed to understand that this was their last night together. Maybe he was hoping to convince Starscream otherwise. Starscream would have to be on guard against that, but for now, he felt his body starting to relax. There was nothing wrong, he reasoned, with enjoying this moment while it lasted. 

Eventually, Skyfire spoke. "Tell me more about your… about protocol."

Starscream was surprised by the question, but then he realized it made sense, if Skyfire thought they were going to have some kind of ongoing relationship. "I've already told you what you need to know," he replied, deciding it was probably best to play along. 

"You've said that you don't submit, but not much else."

"And that's all you need to know. It's simple."

"I guess I'm not sure what you mean by submit." 

"What do you _think_ it means?" 

Skyfire finished cleaning the intake and transferred his attentions to its mate. "When you first mentioned it," he said, "I interpreted it to mean that you will only take a penetrative role in lovemaking."

"Well—yes!" Starscream said, deciding not to quibble with Skyfire's overly romantic terminology. It wasn't going to matter beyond tonight anyway. "That _is_ what it means, obviously."

"Not obvious to me," Skyfire said. "Allowing oneself to be penetrated doesn't automatically equate to a submissive role—and you, of all people, should know that." He paused, smiling at an apparently pleasant memory. "But I know that many people do equate those things, so I guessed that was what you meant. Am I right?"

Starscream gave him a long-suffering look. "Trust you to be excruciatingly _exact_ about something so simple," he said, and was hit by a sudden a pang of nostalgia as he recalled the meticulously detailed classification systems Skyfire had always applied to their discoveries. Everything from stars to mushroom spores had been subjected to a similarly minute analysis. "Yes," he added in a softer voice. "That's how it works."

"And it goes by rank? A higher-ranking officer can spike a lower one, but not the other way?"

"Yes," Starscream answered warily. There was an undercurrent to this line of questioning that he didn't like, though he couldn't quite put his finger on it. "A higher-ranking officer can also accept oral servicing to his spike by a lower-ranking one, but not the other way," he added, watching closely for Skyfire's reaction.

"It sounds…" Skyfire paused, as if searching for the right word. "It sounds like lower-ranking officers don't get much of a choice."

"Of course they get a choice! It's just… etiquette. It's showing proper deference to a superior officer's rank, that's all."

"I see." Skyfire sounded like he didn't see at all. "So is that _all_ you're allowed to do?"

"All? What do you mean?"

"Well… what about valve-play? I assume you can touch a lower-ranking mech's valve, but he can't touch yours?"

"Correct. Letting him touch mine would be… unwarriorlike."

"Unwarriorlike," Skyfire echoed, pausing to rinse out his cloth. "All right then, what about sparkplay?"

"Are you serious? Who would be stupid enough to bare his spark to someone who might be after his position?"

"I hadn't thought of that," Skyfire replied, his expression oddly sorrowful. "Then what about hardlining? Connecting with physical cables wouldn't require as much trust."

"Sure," Starscream replied, "so long as you don't mind viruses."

Skyfire's mouth tightened as he pondered this. "I don't believe Autobot warriors have any such protocol," he said at length. "Their relationships seem based on emotional bonds rather than power. From what I've observed," he added hastily, as if noticing something in the way Starscream had glanced at him.

"That's because they're Autobots," Starscream said with a snort of disgust. " _Real_ warriors don't succumb to such feeble-minded sentiment."

"Feeble-minded?" Skyfire echoed. There was a distinct twinkle in his optics as he finished the second intake and moved on to Starscream's shoulders. "You mean the kind of sentiment that would prompt a mech to spend one hundred and eight thousand vorns searching for a lost companion?"

Starscream bristled. "What are you saying?"

"I saw those tunnels in the Arctic. There were hundreds. Maybe you were able to convince Megatron that all that excavation was needed in order to find the crystal shaft and extract energy from the Earth's core, but you and I know better. "

"So what's your point? That Megatron knows nothing about science? _That_ much should obvious to anyone!"

Skyfire gave a patient smile. "You know that isn't my point."

"So what exactly _are_ you getting at?"

"You say that the universe has changed, and you with it, but you haven't changed as much as you think." Skyfire set his cloth down and rocked back on his heels so their gazes met. "You're still my love, Starscream. When I look at you, I can _still_ see my…" he trailed off, staring at Starscream's chest. "What is that?"

Starscream glanced down, but didn't see anything. "What's what?"

Skyfire picked up the cloth. With a shaking hand, he ran it diagonally across Starscream's chest, starting at the top of his fuselage and slanting down across his cockpit canopy, over his thoracic slat assembly and down to his waist. He rocked back again, staring at what he'd uncovered, and reached to trace the faint seam with trembling fingers. 

"It's a scar," Starscream said as he pushed the hand way. "What does it look like?" 

"I can see what it _is_ ," Skyfire snapped, his voice suddenly cold. "My question is, what happened?"

"What does it matter?" The scar didn't hurt anymore, and in fact it was barely visible. Over time, it had become so much a part of Starscream's body that he barely thought about it, but having Skyfire's gaze suddenly fixed on it made him feel strangely exposed.

"Tell me," Skyfire said, his field crackling with anger. "Who did this?"

Starscream flinched in spite of himself, shocked by the suddenly commanding tone. An image flashed through his memory of Skyfire lifting a startled Megatron above his head and body-slamming him into a wall of ice, while his body relived a more recent memory of iron fists slamming into his midsection. He had to remind himself that those fists hadn't been Skyfire's, and that the cold fury swirling through Skyfire's field wasn't directed at him. But he had forgotten about _this_. About how, when angered, Skyfire had the implacable fury of an Arctic ice-storm.

And that… could be useful.


	2. Dividing Line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scars can mark the dividing line between life and death, but when Starscream tells Skyfire how he got _his_ scar, Skyfire's response is better than he could have hoped.

_"Auroras," Skyfire says, gazing up at the curtains of dancing light. "We must be close to one of this world's magnetic poles."_

_"Yes, the northern one," Starscream confirms, his tone flat. He's just beyond reach, his wings hiked in a posture that warns against any attempt to get closer. It seems as if he's only come to deliver the ration Skyfire is now holding, but he hasn't walked away. He's staring at the horizon instead, his features strangely blank._

_Skyfire decides to try again. "This is water ice," he says, nudging the frozen ground with a toe-cap, "and the color of the auroras suggests a high concentration of oxygen in the planet's atmosphere."_

_Starscream glances at him. "So?"_

_"The conditions seem right for life to have evolved here," Skyfire replies, wondering why he even has to explain this. "We're draining heat from the planetary core to make fuel," he adds, nodding toward the energon cube in his hands. "I assume the Decepticons have ascertained that no sentient life-forms will be harmed by the climatic disruption caused by our actions."_

_"You're asking a lot of questions," Starscream remarks._

_"I'm a scientist."_

_"Not anymore you're not, and the sooner you get that through your thick helm, the better."_

_Skyfire stares at him. Who is this stranger talking to him in a voice that sounds so much like Starscream's, yet isn't? It can't be him, because not only would Starscream have answered that question, but Skyfire wouldn't have needed to ask it in the first place._

_A constellation is rising behind Starscream, and Skyfire, with a jolt, recognizes it._ The Dragonfly _, he thinks. But it's so different now. The red star still forms its 'spark,' but the once-graceful wings are now curled forward like a set of claws poised to strike._

_"We're not here as explorers," Starscream adds, his voice colder than the wind. "You need to start thinking like a warrior, which means following orders and not questioning your superiors."_

_"I… just wondered." They're alone, Skyfire thinks. Starscream can be frank with him… or_ can _he? What's really going on, here? "You're right," he says, deciding to play along for now. "I shouldn't question our leader's decisions."_

 _"No, you shouldn't." Starscream gives him an evaluating look, then smiles. It's an icy smile, one that sends a shock of dread down Skyfire's backstrut as Starscream adds, "Not until I_ tell _you to."_

 _He walks away, and Skyfire is left alone once more with the wind and stars. "What happened to you?" he asks, half aloud, gazing at the constellation. The_ Dragonfly _continues its silent rise, offering no response._

«-o-« {∞} »-o-»

"Every warrior keeps a few battle-scars," Starscream said. "They serve as reminders."

"Of what?" Skyfire asked. His tone was flat, his gaze hard, and it took a concerted effort of will on Starscream's part to keep himself from folding his arms over his chest. He wasn't ashamed of his scar—not exactly, but having it subjected to Skyfire's blue-laser scrutiny was unnerving. 

"Battles, of course," Starscream said. "Conquests."

"That doesn't look like a conquest. It cuts directly across your spark."

Starscream glanced down. " _Does_ it?" he asked, feigning surprise. "You know, it's been so long that I barely even—"

"Cut the scrap!" Skyfire's tone was like a whip-crack, and Starscream recoiled in spite of himself. Skyfire, appearing to notice his reaction, settled his wings. In a lower voice he asked, "Who did this?"

A frisson of excitement raced through Starscream's frame. _Yes_. There was potential here. When Skyfire had attacked Megatron, Starscream's anger had blinded him to the possibilities of the situation. Now, with a calmer mindset, he could see how close he'd come to making his dream a reality. If he could teach Skyfire everything he knew _and_ harness this beautiful rage, then… maybe. If he played his cards right.

"It was a Guardian Robot, like Omega Supreme, who did this," he said. And waited.

Skyfire's wings sagged. He reached out again, and Starscream managed not to flinch as his large, inquisitive fingers traced the hairline fracture. "It looks…" Skyfire hesitated. "It looks as if you were cut in half."

"I nearly was," Starscream confirmed. It was true, after all, and if he could persuade Skyfire to his cause without lying to him, then so much the better.

Skyfire lifted his gaze from the scar, his expression searching. "Please," he said. "Tell me what happened."

"Your Autobot buddies probably told you that the Omega-class warriors guarded Autobot cities during the early part of the war."

Skyfire nodded.

"What they might _not_ have told you is that the Senate also deployed them to raze Decepticon and neutral territories, especially cities inhabited by fliers."

"Altihex?" Skyfire whispered.

"And Vos, and Uraya, and others. They flattened whole cities and devastated the flier population, particularly Seekers. They also made a special point of targeting non-combatants. Younglings, elders, and those who were carrying; Sentinel Prime wanted us wiped out, and he nearly succeeded."

As Starscream spoke, he watched Skyfire's expression cycle first through blankness, then shock, and then something that might have been disbelief, or resignation. It was hard to tell.

"Primus," Skyfire said, at last, his tone a stifled whisper.

"I don't suppose your Autobot friends ever mentioned _that_ little chapter of the war."

Skyfire was quiet, and Starscream forced himself to wait before saying anything further. This would only work if Skyfire thought it was his own idea.

"So," Skyfire said eventually, his gaze returning to the scar, "you were defending a flier city when this happened?"

Starscream hesitated. Everything he'd said so far was true. He'd missed the attack on Uraya, having been drifting half-dead in space at the time, but he'd heard plenty about it once he got back to Cybertron. The attacks on Vos and Altihex had come later, and while they'd been every bit as devastating as he'd described, he hadn't received his scar in either of those. That had happened later, during the Decepticon invasion of Crystal City, and that was the tricky part. He'd have to choose his words carefully.

"My squadron was supposed to draw fire while our grounders attacked from below," he said. "I was inexperienced, and I flew too close to one of the Guardians' claws. That's all."

"That's _all_?" Skyfire's gaze traveled the length of the scar. "How did you… manage to survive?"

"Mostly by luck," Starscream admitted, relieved that Skyfire seemed to be buying this without asking questions that would have forced him to lie. "I crashed, of course. The Guardian fell on top of me and its carcass pinned me down, but also protected me from the Rainmakers' acid spray. I lay there for nearly half an orn before…"

He paused, his mind replaying the hazy image of a tall figure standing over him, stark against the livid sky with scarlet optics narrowed in a look that might have been contempt, amusement, or both. 

"Half an _orn_?" Skyfire whispered.

"I don't remember much," Starscream said. "All I know is that's when I woke in a Decepticon triage center with medics working on me, that's how much time had passed."

Skyfire's jaw tightened.

 _Come on, Sky…_

Starscream gripped the edge of the step he was sitting on. He had built the path and baited the snare, but like any good hunter, he knew when to sit back and wait. If Skyfire would take just _one_ step away from his neat, tidy version of reality in which the Autobot cause represented all that was good… if he could _try_ to see why Starscream had made the choices he had, maybe there was hope for them. 

When Skyfire finally moved, though, it was simply to run the cloth down the length of the scar, starting from below Starscream's neck and traveling to its terminus point above his hip. He then leaned forward to kiss it, his fingertips following its path blindly as if he was trying to soothe it away, erase it from existence.

"It's alright, Sky," Starscream said, rattled by his response. This wasn't going at all the way he'd hoped. "It happened long ago," he added, reaching awkwardly to pet the back of the helm that had come to rest against his upper chest. "It doesn't _hurt_ anymore."

"Oh, Starscream…" Skyfire's field was a shimmer of sorrow, enfolding him like soft rain. "It hurts that I wasn't _there_. I wish I could have been there to catch you."

And there it was. Spoken like a true Autobot. Starscream vented a sigh and settled his own helm against Skyfire's. "If you had been, we'd both be dead now."

Skyfire was quiet for a moment. Then he unexpectedly straightened and sat back on his heels. "I'm not weak," he said, his tone firm. "I could have learned how to fight, same as you."

Starscream held perfectly still as Skyfire's gaze roamed over his frame. It felt as if their roles had reversed, and Skyfire was the hunter now and he the quarry. When Skyfire reached out and grasped one of his arms, he nearly jumped in his seat. "When did you get these?" Skyfire asked as he ran his cloth down the length of Starscream's shoulder-mounted rifle. "Was it after the scar?"

"It was before," Starscream said, watching Skyfire as he polished the weapon to its full luster. He was handling it gingerly in his big hands as if he was afraid it might explode. "I got the rifles when I joined the Decepticons, and I had my null-ray wired in so I could use either that or lasers, depending on— "

He broke off as an image of a small, grayed-out face rose from the depths of his memory, sightless optics glaring at him in mute accusation. 

"Depending on circumstances," he concluded, shaking off the image. "But I didn't know how to fight, yet. Not really. I didn't understand what it would take to become a true warrior."

"But you learned," Skyfire said as he turned his cleaning efforts to the arm that was attached to the rifle.

"Yes. I…" Starscream trailed off as Skyfire reached his hand and began cleaning each of his fingers. That wasn't strictly necessary since Starscream's hands weren't dirty, but maybe Skyfire could sense all the spilled energon that clung to them. What _was_ Skyfire thinking? His features were granite. There'd been a time when Starscream could simply have reached out through their bond, but they had agreed to keep it closed. Starscream would be damned if he was the one who broke that pact. 

"When I was under the Guardian Robot," Starscream said finally, "I knew I had a choice. I could give up, let myself die, or…"

Skyfire paused again. His expression remained tense, though the hand that cradled Starscream's was as gentle as it was powerful. 

"I wanted to live," Starscream concluded, gazing that hand. Hadn't there been hands like that in the darkness? Strong arms wrapped around him, carrying him towards life... or had it been death? The two had blurred into one another until he hadn't been sure which was which, or where the dividing line was. "I wanted to live," he repeated, more to himself now than to Skyfire, and Skyfire's arms suddenly _were_ around him, his great wings sweeping forward as if to shelter him. 

Voice breaking, Skyfire whispered, "I won't hurt my friends."

Starscream went still. "Fine," he responded cautiously, fighting a wave of hope. What were they talking about, exactly? 

"We're also not going to endanger any humans," Skyfire added, drawing back to meet his gaze. "That's non-negotiable."

Starscream gave a slow nod. "So what are you saying, Sky?"

Skyfire crushed their forehelms together. "Teach me to fight," he said. "If you ever fall again, I want to be the one who catches you."

 _You always were_ , Starscream thought, but that would have been too difficult to explain, so instead he let his arms find their old, familiar route to curl around Skyfire's shoulders. He'd never been able to reach the whole way, but that had never seemed to matter, nor did it seem terribly important that his head was now twisted at an angle that made the nano-patch on the back of his neck feel as if it was coming loose. 

Nothing mattered but this. He buried his face against Skyfire's throat, wanting to feel the thrum of his warm life-pulse against his cheek. _It's you,_ he thought. _Really you._

He was surprised to realize he'd doubted that. It was just that the Skyfire who had, in his mind and spark, walked beside him throughout the war—who had patiently listened to his every confession and complaint, who had held him through his darkest moments and whispered that they'd find each other again someday and rise, victorious— _that_ Skyfire had been so jarringly unlike the one Starscream had revived from the ice that he hadn't quite believed it was _him_. 

But now…

"Is that yes?" Skyfire asked. His arms were locked around Starscream as if he never wanted to let go, and the truth was, Starscream didn't want him to either. He felt the way he did when he was on the verge of a conquest or a new discovery, and even his recalcitrant spike had perked up within its housing. He forced himself to disengage enough for their gazes to meet. 

"It depends," he said, schooling his tone to one of nonchalance. "You need to understand that I require total commitment from my students. I don't tolerate fools or dilettantes, and if I get the slightest whiff that you're slacking, the deal's _off_. Is that clear?"

"Yes," Skyfire said without hesitation. "Thank you."

The blue of his optics filled Starscream's vision like a cloudless vista, beckoning with endless possibilities. _Thank me when we rule Cybertron together,_ Starscream thought. There was a smudge of dust on Skyfire's cheek. "Welcome aboard," Starscream whispered as he reached to brush it off.

Skyfire caught his hand and kissed it.

"Why don't we begin your first lesson now?" Starscream suggested, shifting his hips on the bench. His spike was showing definite signs of recovery, but since his valve didn't seem to have entirely given up its takeover attempt, he decided they could consummate their deal later. Since there _was_ going to be a later. "Start there," he ordered, tilting his chin toward his second rifle. "I'll explain its workings while you clean." 

Skyfire dampened a fresh cloth and began cleaning the rifle while Starscream explained how each of its components worked. Starscream noticed he was handling this weapon more boldly than he had the first, scrubbing its length with firm, confident strokes. It was only when the rifle was clean, and Starscream was sure that Skyfire had understood his explanations, that he allowed Skyfire to move on to his arm.

"Is it alright if I ask you something else about protocol?" Skyfire asked as he worked.

" _More_ questions?" Starscream tried to sound aggrieved, though watching Skyfire handle his rifle had mellowed his frame of mind to the point where it now hovered somewhere between mild arousal and total exhaustion. "Let's hear it then. What else could you have possibly failed to understand?"

"I was wondering what happens if two mechs who are of equal rank want to interface," Skyfire replied as he swept the cloth from Starscream's shoulder to his wrist. "Who would take the penetrative role in that case?"

"Whoever's older, of course."

"Oh, but…" Skyfire paused in his cleaning. "I'm older than you, so shouldn't I—"

"Nice try, but no, and for two very good reasons. First, I outrank you. And second—"

"Outrank?" Skyfire interrupted. "I don't even have a rank. I was never assigned one by the Decepticons, and the Autobots consider me a civilian."

"Warriors automatically outrank civilians," Starscream retorted. "As teachers do their students."

"So… in theory," Skyfire mused, "that could change once I've learned everything you have to teach me and have become a warrior myself."

"No, because I'll still be older."

"But my creation-date, relative to yours, is—"

"Irrelevant, Skyfire, I assure you."

"How do you figure that?" 

"This war has been going on for one hundred and eight thousand vorns—give or take, a period during which you were, shall we say… out of action."

Skyfire flinched. Starscream wondered if his comment had cut too close to the core, but then Skyfire came back with, "Sixty thousand."

" _Sixty_?" Starscream echoed. "What do you think this is, a Skuxxoid trading outpost? You don't get to _haggle_ over how long you were in the ice!"

"Not haggling," Skyfire responded, looking as if he was trying not to smile. "Just stating a fact about the difference in our ages." 

Starscream narrowed his optics. The debate was starting to remind him of their old scientific 'discussions,' which had occasionally turned into shouting matches. Anyone overhearing one would have assumed them to be the bitterest of academic rivals, though, in fact, their verbal jousting had often served as a type of foreplay.

"How do _you_ figure?" Starscream asked. "Don't tell me your Autobot buddies are pioneering some previously unknown form of mathematics!"

"No, and even if they were, I wouldn't tell _you_ ," Skyfire replied with a grin, which Starscream had to fight not to return. "I just don't think the time you spent in stasis after the Ark crashed on Earth should count toward your total age, considering that my time in the ice clearly doesn't count toward mine."

"Humph," Starscream grumbled, feigning annoyance. "I might have expected you to make a big deal about a simple age difference."

" _I'm_ making a big deal?" 

Starscream shrugged. "I call 'em as I see 'em."

Skyfire laughed. It was a deep, throaty sound, filled with warmth and genuine humor, and it occurred to Starscream that he hadn't heard that laugh in one hundred and eight thousand vorns. Give or take. 

"Then I concede," Skyfire said. He had reached Starscream's second hand by now and was holding it clasped in his own. "You are older," he raised the hand to his lips, "and wiser—at least in matters of combat," he added with a kiss to Starscream's knuckles, "and besides, submitting to you in the berth," he turned the hand over and pressed a light kiss to Starscream's palm, "is the purest of pleasures anyway."

"Well… good, then." Starscream didn't trust his voice. "I'm glad _that's_ settled." Was it just his imagination, or did the room appear lighter? It was as if some lingering shadow had dissipated, banished by the playful light in Skyfire's optics. 

"Lean forward, old mech," Skyfire whispered, nipping lightly at his audial. "I want to clean your back."

Starscream complied without thinking, but froze as the back of his neck twinged. "I… ah, think I'll do this part myself," he said hastily, reaching for the cloth that Skyfire had given him earlier. 

"Why?" Skyfire's disappointment was obvious. "Is there some other point of protocol you haven't told me about?"

"No, it's just quicker this way," Starscream said as he flipped the cloth behind himself and began scrubbing his wings and back with a see-saw motion. The cleaning cloths were as over-sized as everything else around here, so it was an easy reach. "I wouldn't mind getting to the _good_ stuff, if you catch my drift?"

"Ah," Skyfire said, visibly crestfallen. "I was looking forward to cleaning your wings."

"You can still do the fronts," Starscream invited, tilting the appendages in question toward him. Skyfire, apparently mollified, ran his cloth along the upper edge of one of the wings, and Starscream took advantage of his momentary distraction by reaching to probe the edges of the nano-patch. It shifted at his touch, and he swore inwardly. It would need to be replaced, and he didn't have any spares. He'd have to hope that Skyfire had some extras lying around in a place where he'd be able to— 

"Ahhh!"

A sudden bloom of pleasure drew his attention back to Skyfire, who pulled his hand back from the flap on the upper edge of Starscream's wing if it had burned his fingers.

"I forgot to ask," Skyfire said apologetically. "Is it alright to touch your ailerons?"

"Put it this way," Starscream said, opening the flap to allow access to the sensitive inner surfaces of his wing. "Protocol wasn't devised by a Seeker."

" _That_ I have no trouble believing," Skyfire said as he ran his cloth softly over the exposed sensor nodes. Starscream sighed, leaning into his touch, and whimpered when he withdrew. He tried to follow Skyfire's hand with his wing, but Skyfire closed the flap with a chuckle. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves," he chided. 

Starscream glowered, but if Skyfire noticed, he gave no sign. He cleaned the rest of the wing, pausing to trace the angles of the purple insignia as if to familiarize himself with its presence. He finished by dropping a kiss on Starscream's wingtip and reached for the cloth that Starscream still held, half forgotten.

"Are you done with your back?" he asked.

Starscream handed the cloth over. "I suppose." He'd been so caught up in watching Skyfire that he'd completely forgotten about his back, but he guessed it was clean enough. 

"Here," Skyfire said, handing him one of the massive dry-cloths. "Wrap this around yourself."

Starscream accepted it gingerly. It was jumbo-sized, like everything else around here, too large even for Skyfire. "Who _lived_ here?" he wondered aloud, as he unrolled… and unrolled it. Skyfire caught the end before it could hit the wet tiles. 

"If the information on the document I showed you is correct," Skyfire said, "it would explain why everything here is so big."

"Ah yes, your document," Starscream muttered as he struggled with the folds. "I don't suppose you've considered the possibility that it might be a hoax."

The document in question was a deed of ownership for this base, with his and Skyfire's _names_ on it, no less. Its purported authors were none other than Alchemist Prime and Onyx Prime, two of the fabled Thirteen Primes who had, according to legend, founded Cybertron. A nice enough story, if you believed in fairy tales.

"If it is a hoax, I can't imagine what the purpose would be," Skyfire replied. "Besides, I trust the person who gave it to me."

"You seem very trusting," Starscream said, still fighting with the textile. It was like quicksand, and the more he tried to get it around himself, the more thoroughly his wings and rifles were getting tangled. 

"Only where it's warranted," Skyfire said as he extracted the cloth from Starscream's hands. He wound it around his frame, keeping his second wing free for washing. "He was a friend."

" _Was_ ," Starscream echoed, noticing the past tense. "Is he… no longer, then?"

Skyfire's head bowed. "He's… gone."

"As in, dead?" Starscream persisted, trying not to sound hopeful.

Skyfire didn't respond. 

_Well_ that's _something_ , Starscream thought, watching as Skyfire started on his second wing. The document had been a concern since whoever had forged it was obviously aware of Starscream's and Skyfire's relationship, but the forger's death meant there was one less thing he needed to worry about. If only Skyfire wouldn't look so _sad_ about it.

"There, there," Starscream said, trying to sound consoling. "I'm sure your… friend… has gone to a _much_ better place." That was what you were supposed to say, wasn't it?

Skyfire shot him a dark look. "Just… _don't_." He finished the second wing, this time without paying any extra attention to its aileron, and proceeded to down over Starscream's chest, flanks and thighs, carefully avoiding the pale, clean area where Starscream had already washed between his legs.

"Sky…"

Skyfire hesitated, but finally glanced up.

"It wasn't because of something _we_ did, was it?" Starscream asked. 

Skyfire shook his head. "It wasn't. He died of natural causes."

"Good," Starscream said—and then, realizing how _that_ had probably sounded, he added, "I mean, I'm glad it wasn't because of anything the Decepticons were involved with."

Skyfire smiled. "I knew what you meant, and I understand why the document concerns you. Don't worry about it, all right? Whatever my friend knew, or suspected, he took it to his grave. Our secret is safe."

He sank down cross-legged on the floor and washed Starscream's calves, not quite as brusquely, then took hold of one of his pedes and lifted it into his lap. "Would you hand me one of those brushes?" he asked, pointing to the row of cleaning brushes he'd arranged earlier on the bench. "The farthest one to your left should work nicely."

"What are you doing?" Starscream asked, handing it over. 

"You'll see." Skyfire slipped the brush between the flanges of Starscream's heel-thruster, and Starscream went rigid. 

" _Oh_ ," he said, spreading the feather-like flanges as far as they'd go. "Why didn't you _say_ so?"

"And spoil the surprise?" There was more than a hint of mischief in Skyfire's voice when he added, "Are you still waiting for me to get to the good stuff?"

Starscream groaned by way of a response and slumped back against the step. It felt _too_ good. Not in a sexual way, since thruster flanges weren't an erogenous zone for most Seekers. This was a different kind of pleasure, one that he hadn't experienced in… oh, one hundred and eight thousand vorns. Give or take.

"Just be _thorough_ about it," he said, adding a hint of a growl to cover for the fact that his engine-hum had dropped to a low, contented purr. 

"I shall be," Skyfire promised, the dip of his helm hiding a smile. "Most thorough."

He cleaned between each of the flanges, then washed away all remaining traces of grime. He finished by pressing a soft kiss to the top of Starscream's pede before moving on to the other one, humming as he worked. It was that same, familiar tune that Starscream couldn't quite place, though it conjured up memories of long nights spent working on various projects, and of Skyfire tending to his beloved garden, and the precise shade of blue that was his spark. 

Watching him, Starscream couldn't avoid the feeling that there was something he should say, something he _wanted_ to say, though the words kept escaping. Maybe being wrapped in acres of fuzzy softness was making his thoughts fuzzy, too. He was about to ask what the song was called when a gush of warmth at the back of his neck grabbed his attention.

He moved his arm slowly, so as not to draw Skyfire's attention, and reached back to probe the edges of the patch. His fingers came away coated with clear, jelly-like fluid. Gyro lubricant. _Frag._ If he didn't fix this immediately, Skyfire was going to notice and start asking questions; ones that Starscream wasn't prepared to answer.

"Er… Sky?"

Skyfire looked up.

"Are you… about done?"

"Nearly," Skyfire answered, sounding surprised. "Why?"

Starscream fidgeted, trying to think of an excuse that would get him out of these washracks, alone, with minimal fuss. There was an excellent chance that Skyfire would have a repair kit in his lab, but the trick was arranging a little time in there unsupervised. A second liquid gush made his decision for him. He sprang up, dislodging Skyfire's hand from his pede. 

"I… need a moment," he said, yanking the dry-cloth tightly around his neck, and bolted up the steps before Skyfire had chance to react.


	3. Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starscream learns that—just maybe—Skyfire has a few secrets of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Biting Moopie for betaing, and to Dark Star of Chaos for giving this chapter a final read-through when my brain was too addled on flu meds to tell what was what anymore. You guys rock!

_Skyfire clutches tight to his grand-carrier's hand as they wind their way through the exhibit. The air here is thick, heavy with the green scent of vegetation and the hum of insects. He drags his pedes, wanting to linger for as long as he can and memorize every detail. The brightly-hued flowers, the warmth of alien sunlight, and the half-seen creatures that move as flickers of light and shadow in deep, emerald pools. It's unlike anything he's ever seen._

Somewhere, _he thinks,_ there's a world like this.

_A bright shape darts from the canopy above. Its wings beat the air, creating a musical hum as it hovers, seeming to study him with its jeweled optics. What must it think of this strange, metallic intruder? He reaches out and to his delight, the creature settles on his hand._

_"Be careful," his grand-carrier warns. "It might sting."_

_"Do not be alarmed," one of the scientists assures them, smiling. "_ Draconis Aerus _will only sting when he feels threatened."_

 _Someone snaps a holo, but Skyfire pays no attention._ This is what scientists do _, he thinks, watching his lovely visitor groom itself on the tip of his finger._ I'm going to be just like them.

«-o-« {∞} »-o-»

Starscream made it halfway up the steps before Skyfire called after him. "What's wrong?" he asked. "You're not… _leaving_?"

Something in his tone made Starscream pause. He turned and saw Skyfire gazing up after him, his face stricken. The brush he'd been using to clean Starscream's thruster flanges still clasped loosely in his hand, apparently forgotten. 

"Of course I'm not!" Starscream replied, more snappishly than intended. The look in Skyfire's optics wasn't quite what it had been that first time Starscream had shot him, but it was close enough. "I'm…" he paused, racking his processor for an excuse. "Hungry! That's all."

"Hungry? But we ate," Skyfire replied, his tone doubtful.

"It was a long flight! I need more fuel than what you served earlier." When Skyfire's expression faltered, Starscream added, "Don't worry; you're not getting rid of me _that_ easily. By the time we've worked through the aerial drills I've got planned, you'll be _wishing_ I'd leave!"

Never mind that he could barely walk, let alone fly. Even looking down at Skyfire, who was at the bottom of the empty bathing pool, was making Starscream's gyros rebel. To keep his balance, he had to focus his gaze beyond Skyfire, on the mosaic of constellations that decorated the curved wall behind him. 

Skyfire put his tools down. "If you're hungry, just have a seat. I'll get you some energon from the galley." He started up the steps. 

Starscream threw his arm up in a warding gesture. "Don't trouble yourself!" he exclaimed. He swayed and had to take a step back to maintain balance. His HUD was registering a critical loss of gyro lubricant, which meant that his gyros might seize. If that happened, he'd be in _serious_ trouble. "You've done enough for me already," he assured Skyfire, forcing his voice into a semblance of calm. "I can find my own way to the galley, and I'm more than happy to assist myself."

That had been too much. He could tell immediately, by the way Skyfire's browridges lowered. "What's going on?" Skyfire asked. "Is there something—"

"Nothing!" Starscream cut him off. "I'm not going _anywhere_. I'm just hungry; is that some kind of crime?"

His attempt at humor fell flat. Skyfire studied him in silence, not smiling, but finally sighed. "If you leave, do me the courtesy of saying goodbye. That's all I ask."

Starscream tried to nod, but canceled the gesture when the nano-patch on the back of his neck released another trickle of gyro fluid. "I won't leave, Sky," he promised, yanking the dry-cloth more tightly around himself. It would serve both as a camouflage for the damage to his neck, and a handy way to keep the nano-patch from falling off. "We have a deal, remember?"

Skyfire gave a half-nod. Starscream, encouraged, flipped the dry-cloth behind himself like a cloak and tilted his hips at what he hoped was a suggestive angle. "Besides, you still owe me a frag!" he added. "I'm certainly not leaving before I collect on _that_ promise."

Starscream hoped his vocalizer wasn't writing checks that his spike wouldn't be able to cash, but it got him a smile. A faint one, but still. A smile was a smile, and he'd take it. 

"All right," Skyfire said, wings rising in a shrug. "Go help yourself. I'll wash up and join you in a breem."

Starscream didn't wait for a second invitation. He bolted the rest of the way up the steps. When he reached the doors, he glanced back. Skyfire hadn't moved. He was still gazing after him.

"I'm not going to dematerialize," Starscream called. That earned him a real smile.

"You can't blame a mech for wanting to look at you," Skyfire said. He turned to activate the shower, and Starscream found that it was his turn to stare. He couldn't drag his gaze from that tall, snowy frame, or those broad wings with their bold stripes, or the long, powerful thighs. 

_It really_ is _you_ , he thought. It was just as the Skyfire of his fevered imaginings had promised. They were back! They had defied the odds and found their way back to each other, and nothing—not Megatron, or the Autobots, or Primus himself—could stand in their way. All he needed was a fresh nano-patch. Oh, and to persuade Skyfire to go along with his nascent plan. But that was a small order compared to what they'd been through. Surely the worst was behind them; it had to be.

Buoyed by the thought, he stepped into the corridor and headed for the base's main living area, walking as fast as his shaky legs would carry him. The galley was to his left, just off the combined foyer and entertaining area. To his right was the spiral staircase which led up to the loft. The loft was where he presumed Skyfire's lab to be located. 

In the past, Skyfire had always kept a repair kit in his work area. Lab mishaps were a fact of life, and Skyfire, like any true explorer, believed in being prepared. The main challenge was in getting up there. The loft was accessible either by climbing the spiral staircase or by flying, and neither option was terribly appealing to Starscream in his current condition.

The staircase, like everything else around here, was built for giants. There was also something about the spiral shape itself that made his internals lurch when he paused at the base of the steps and gazed up. The flight option, on the other hand, would involve taking a massive leap from the center of the living area and hoping his failing gyros would guide him over the railing. He'd likely get only one chance at that. The leap would exert internal pressure on his gyro system and squeeze out the remaining lubricant. His gyros would overheat in rather short order, and he'd have some creative explaining to do. 

Damn Megatron and his habit of scruffing him while they fragged. For any number of reasons, Skyfire was _not_ going to know about that. 

_Jump_ , he decided. It was the quicker of the two methods, and he suspected that Skyfire would be out of the shower sooner rather than later. By that time, Starscream would need to be back downstairs, helping himself to some energon from the galley dispenser. He wasn't actually hungry. If anything he felt a bit nauseous, but that was a typical side-effect of having one's gyros out of whack. He could fake it.

He hobbled to the center of the living area. The loft railing seemed terribly far away, though he reminded himself that Mars' gravity, which was a fraction of that on Earth, would help him get there. He gathered the dry-cloth around himself, reasoning that it would cushion him if he fell, made a series of mental calculations—and jumped.

He shuttered his optics. He could feel his trajectory without having to look, and he hoped the lack of visual input would calm his gyros. It worked, at least until he reached the apex of his leap. At that point he was forced to look in order to figure out where to land, and the moment he did his gyros went haywire. The loft blurred into a swirling vortex of color. One of his pedes clanged against something hard, presumably the railing, and he pitched forward, hitting the floor intakes first. He skidded, fingers raking sparks from slick metal tiles, and slammed into something solid. Everything went dark. 

For a moment, he thought the impact might have shorted out his optics. Then he realized that the stupid dry-cloth had fallen over his face, and he yanked it aside with a muttered curse. _Nice landing, ace._

The thing he'd hit wasn't the back wall of the loft, as he'd at first assumed. It was actually a work-table. It was sturdy, of a solid metal design, and clearly made to withstand the kind of abuse he'd just inflicted on it. It was not, however, bolted to the floor, and it was rocking from the impact of his frame. An ominous scraping noise drew his attention upward just in time to see a large metallic object topple from the table's edge. 

He lunged to catch it. His rifles got tangled in the dry-cloth, and the object crashed to the floor with an impact that shook the whole loft. He swore out loud this time. What difference could it make? Even if Skyfire didn't have annoyingly sensitive hearing, which he did, Starscream had just made enough racket to raise Primus. Skyfire would be up here any moment, and…

Starscream's thoughts trailed off as he stared at the object. He _recognized_ it.

"A gravitic stabilizer?"

The item that had nearly brained him just happened to be the one piece of lab equipment that might actually solve his problem. Temporarily, anyway. He seized the device and dragged it close. It was a sturdy Cybertronian build, not unlike the one he kept in his own lab. 

Where would Skyfire have found one? Had he borrowed it from the Autobot Wheeljack? More importantly, _why_ would he have one? Gravitic stabilizers were typically used to study the behavior of exotic particles in unstable gravitational environments. Not exactly in Skyfire's usual area of research, nor in Starscream's.

It just so happened that gravitic stabilizers were also quite useful for stabilizing unruly gyros. The effects usually wore off within a couple of joors, but Starscream had gotten through more than a few battles riding on the aftereffects. A zap from this gravitic stabilizer would work just as well as one from his own, _if_ he could bypass those severed leads. 

The leads that would normally connect the gravitic stabilizer to another mechanism—say, Starscream's arm—had been slashed. It looked as if a cutting tool, possibly a laser scalpel, had been used. Had Skyfire done that? If so, why? Had the device been connected to something else? Something that Skyfire had needed to disconnect from in a hurry? The sound of a door opening downstairs interrupted his thoughts.

"Starscream?" Skyfire called.

 _Damn_. Starscream opened a panel on his forearm. He extended the cable that linked to the system governing his equilibrium and wrapped it onto the gravitic stabilizer's central lead. This was going to be a rough ride, but…

He flipped the gravitic stabilizer's power switch. Nothing. Half panicking, he reinspected the device's heavy cladding and found a cracked relay in the power core. How had he missed that? He pinched it, bringing the broken sides in contact, and— 

Blue lightning erupted from the ends of the severed leads. The one connected to his arm sent a jolt of energy straight into his exposed circuits. It hurt like the Pit, but the pain was followed by a familiar, spreading calm. He released a ventilation he hadn't known he'd been holding, and switched the machine off. 

"Starscream?" Skyfire's voice was more insistent. "I heard a noise. Are you all right? Where are you?"

"Up here," Starscream called, ripping the lead from his arm. He grabbed the gravitic stabilizer and set it back on the table. He'd just have to hope Skyfire wouldn't notice it had been moved. His balance felt steadier but his neck was still throbbing. He glanced around, making a hasty assessment of the lab. 

Luckily, Skyfire was predictable. Though untidy, he was also surprisingly systematic in how he organized his work-space. Every lab that they had shared had been laid out in a similar way. It had driven Starscream up the wall, though it was probably the only way Skyfire could find anything in the chaos of charts, datapads, takeout containers and other detritus that tended to collect on every surface. 

First aid supplies, in particular, were always in the same spot: the second cupboard to the left of the door. Since the loft didn't have a door Starscream chose the most likely equivalent, the second cupboard to the left of the entrance. He tore it open, and immediately found what he was looking for. 

The yellow first aid box was exactly as he remembered, right down to its chipped handle and the faded Academy insignia stenciled on its side. It took him no time to find a nano-patch of the correct size. He slapped it over the damaged area, sighing in relief as it suctioned into place. He jammed the first aid box back in its spot—and froze, his hand on the cupboard door, staring at a pile of drawings on a nearby table. 

They were plans for a device. One that involved a gravitic stabilizer, and…

The hiss of anti-gravs spun him around. Skyfire was behind him, blocking his escape. His gaze swept over Starscream as if assessing him for damage, then took in the general state of the loft. Starscream couldn't imagine how he could tell if anything was out of place, considering the mess, but his gaze quickly settled on the drawings. He strode past Starscream, rolled up the drawings, and slipped them into a security tube. The 'click' of the locking mechanism resounded in the silence as Skyfire turned back toward him.

"Did you get lost on your way to the galley?" he asked. His tone was glacial.

Starscream flinched. How it was that Skyfire could make him feel this way with just a look? And what right did he have, anyway? Anger bubbled up in Starscream and he seized on it, drawing it around himself like a protective cloak. How did _Skyfire_ get off staring down his nasal assembly at him when this was his own damn fault for leaving his plans lying around in plain sight?

"It's interesting," Starscream said, drawing himself to his full height, "how you've placed your faith in a document given to you by some stranger, yet you aren't prepared to trust _me_."

"It's not that I don't trust you," Skyfire said, putting the security tube on one of the benches. He had to balance it carefully between a stack of datapads and some unknown piece of equipment to keep it from rolling onto the floor, and Starscream found himself amused in spite of the situation. "It's just… well, we're not supposed to talk about anything having to do with either of our factions," he added. "I should have put these away earlier, but…" he met Starscream's gaze. "I wasn't expecting you to come up here. Why did you?"

 _Nice try_ , Starscream thought. Turning the accusation around was the oldest trick in the book—and Starscream had _written_ the book. It was obvious that Skyfire had come up here in a hurry. Water droplets still clung to his plating, making it sparkle under the overhead lights, and a dry-cloth was draped haphazardly around his wings and shoulders. Had his haste been entirely out of concern for Starscream's well-being? Or was he also hiding something up here?

Starscream swept his wings back, a gesture which would probably have seemed more imposing if he wasn't still bundled in his own dry cloth, and folded his arms over his chest. "If you _must_ know," he said haughtily, "I came up here looking for the first aid kit."

Skyfire's gaze flicked toward the cupboard door, which was still slightly open. His expression instantly shifted. "Are you sick?" 

He took a step toward Starscream, who tried not to shrink away. Ordinarily Starscream would expect to be struck if he was caught snooping like this. Again, he had to remind himself that the large hand that was reaching for him was not one of the hands that would have hit him, and the emotions he sensed in Skyfire's field were ones of concern rather than anger.

"It's just my helm," Starscream added quickly, pulling the dry-cloth more tightly around himself. "I get headaches sometimes."

Which was true, and he had Thundercracker and his obnoxious sonic booms to thank for it. How anyone was supposed to cope with those was beyond him.

Skyfire put a hand to his forehelm. His fingers were cool, and Starscream found himself leaning into the soothing touch without quite intending to. A kiss grazed his central helm-crest. "I've got something," Skyfire murmured. "Wait here."

With that, he sprang over the loft railing and disappeared. Starscream leaned over the railing to see where he'd gone, and was pleasantly surprised by his lack of vertigo. The gravitic stabilizer had done its job nicely, and he could feel a slight tingle at the back of his neck as the nanites got to work. The nano-patch would automatically recolor itself to match the plating at the back of his neck, so as to become virtually invisible. At this rate, his gyros would be as good as new by morning.

Skyfire was in the galley by now, rummaging through one of the cupboards. The cupboard's interior was full of plates, bowls and other assorted eating utensils, all huge, as well as a row of bottles marked with medical insignias. Starscream frowned at the sight of those. "Why do you have so many medications?" he asked.

"Oh," Skyfire said with a laugh, "those are from Ratchet. He insisted that I should be taking all these supplements to help my systems recover from being in stasis for so long."

As he spoke, he nudged the cupboard door half-closed so that it blocked Starscream's view. He did it so casually that it might have looked like an accident to anyone else, but Starscream wasn't fooled. Skyfire was _definitely_ hiding something, and Starscream would bet his afterburners that those plans he'd tucked away so hastily weren't for some boring Autobot weapon. No, this was something else. Something… _personal_. 

"Why don't you head to my berthroom and make yourself at home?" Skyfire suggested. "The door's at the back of the loft. I leave it unlocked, so you won't need a code. I'll join you there in a klick."

Starscream hesitated, glancing him up and down. Skyfire looked perfectly healthy. In fact, he looked perfectly… well, perfect. Also, shockingly young. Skyfire might quibble over their true age difference, but there could be little doubt that there _was_ one, and a significant one, at that. 

"Don't be long," he warned, finally, "or I might have to start without you."

Skyfire, still rooting through the cupboard, flashed him a grin. "That's fine, as long as I get to watch."

"Well you'd have to _be_ here for that, wouldn't you?"

Skyfire's grin deepened into something that translated into a flush of velvet heat in Starscream's lower belly. "I'll be there," Skyfire promised.

When Starscream stepped back from the railing his gaze was drawn, once again, to the gravitic stabilizer and its mysterious severed leads. What had Skyfire hooked it up to, and why had he needed to disconnect with such haste? Was it related to the medications in the cupboard, or were those actually just supplements? Whatever the answers were, Starscream was going to have to find out. They could affect his plans, after all. 

He strolled to the rear of the loft. The door which Skyfire had mentioned irised open with a soft hiss, ushering him into a short hallway which terminated, airlock-style, at a second, identical set of doors. These, too, slid open, and he stepped through into what was most certainly _not_ a berthroom. It looked more like a bunker-style observatory, of the kind that was used on planets with hostile environmental conditions. The exterior of this base was likely covered with a network of sensors which would project an image of the night sky onto the dome-shaped ceiling, via… what? He glanced around, and noticed a console set into the floor near where he was standing.

"Ah."

Starscream set his pede on a metal step-plate and watched as the console rose smoothly from the floor, its screens flickering to life. It was a clever design. It allowed the console to be tucked away when not in use, creating an unbroken, three-hundred-sixty degree view of the night sky. 

"Let's see what you've got," he murmured. He found the controls for the external sensor-web and activated them. The ceiling instantly lit up with a blurry, pixelated mess of static. There were glimpses of sky here and there, and he could see enough to tell that it was just after sunset, but not much else. Apparently the harsh climate had not been kind to the external sensor grid. No surprise there. 

Starscream turned back to the console and scrolled through its directory. There weren't many files, just a few sky recordings. Those all had recent date-stamps, which meant they were likely from Skyfire running tests on the grid. Only one recording had an earlier date. _Much_ earlier. Starscream's vents caught when he noticed the title:

_Dragonfly._

With a shaking hand, he pressed _select_ and watched as the mess overhead dissolved into a deep, blue-black sky. Jagged mountains of ice encircled the horizon, and a giant gas-world loomed to the west, its magnificent rings veiling part of the sky. Starscream recognized it immediately. It was the planet the humans now called Saturn, and there, hovering like jewels just beyond its rings, were Tethys and Rhea, two of its many moons. He knew where this was, and more importantly _when_ it was. He nearly jumped when the doors whooshed open behind him. 

There was a beat of silence, and then Skyfire said, "I see you found it."

"You… _recorded_ this?" Starscream asked, turning to stare at him.

Skyfire nodded. "I planned to give it to you when we got back to Cybertron. Our bonding anniversary was coming up, and…" he paused, a faint smile touching his lips. "I wanted to give you the stars." He glanced up. Starscream automatically followed his gaze, and there it was.

"The Dragonfly," Starscream said quietly. 

"Yes," Skyfire replied. "Do you see it now?"

He was carrying a pair of energon cubes, along with a small metallic box and a vial of what was obviously medicine. The dry-cloth was gone from his shoulders, and in the blue starlight he looked no different than he had when they had explored this moon, which the humans now called Titan, one hundred and eight thousand vorns ago. It had been their _last_ world, the last they'd explored together before Skyfire's crash.

Starscream gazed at the arrangement of stars, and finally shook his head. "No," he said. "Not really."

He'd never been able to see what Skyfire had been so insistent on pointing out to him. The red star the humans called Antares was just a star, not the spark of some celestial creature, nor did the hook-shaped configuration remind him of a tail, nor the fan of stars around its so-called thorax look like a pair of wings. 

"Humans call it _Scorpius_ now," Starscream added. "Means the scorpion."

"I know," Skyfire answered sadly. 

"You're just like them, you know. Seeing pictures in the sky."

"I suppose that's true." Skyfire hesitated. "Do you want me to change it to something else?"

"What else have you got?"

Skyfire glanced at the meager list, and sighed. "I could turn off the projector," he offered.

Starscream shrugged. "It's your place. Do what you like." 

He looked around. There was a circular platform at the center of the room with a berth-pad on top of it. The sight brought to mind images of Skyfire lying beneath this recorded sky, gazing up at his… _dragonfly_. 

The sky recording blinked out as Starscream started toward the platform. He stopped, glancing back. "It's all right, Sky, you can leave it on."

Skyfire brightened and the stars did too, bathing the room in their cobalt light. Starscream sighed inwardly. This was tantamount to wallowing in the past, but it did seem to make Skyfire happy, and that… _mattered_ , somehow. Starscream mounted the platform steps, then froze, staring at the berth-pad. 

"Is _this_ …?"

"Our old one? Yes," Skyfire replied as he started up the steps behind him. "It was in my subspace when I crashed, and seems to have survived in perfect condition."

Perfect being a relative concept, of course. The berth-pad had been patched so often that it bore more resemblance to a topographic map than it did to a berth, which was fitting since it was, in its way, a map of their travels together. Starscream could even recall how some of those rips and punctures had happened, and he could remember fixing them, too. He nudged one of its frayed edges with a toe-cap. "To think we used to call this thing lucky."

"It survived," Skyfire said as he stepped past Starscream and eased himself down onto it. "I'd call that lucky."

"Humph. You would."

Skyfire regarded him for a moment, then patted the berth-pad. "Sit down," he said as he began arranging his various items picnic-style, setting out the energon cubes and opening the metallic box. The latter turned out to be brimming with crystals, metallic wafers and other assorted treats, all neatly partitioned into various sections.

Starscream sank down hesitantly, half afraid that the berth-pad might collapse under his relatively slight additional weight. It held firm, however, and he discovered that it was soft, and clean, and smelled a lot like Skyfire. "You should get rid of this old thing," he groused, not because he meant it, but just because.

"I _like_ my old thing," Skyfire said with a smile. "Here," he added, holding out the vial of medication. "This should help with your headache." 

Starscream took it gingerly. He studied the medical crest and the Autobot insignia that were printed on the label, then shrugged. "Thanks." He swallowed a dose and handed it back, then turned to the contents of the box. His appetite seemed to have recovered, and the scent of the crystals were making his tanks rumble. He selected a scarlet crystal and held it to the light. It was so red that it looked almost purple, and gave off a familiar, spicy scent when he sniffed it.

"Is this _cuprite_?" he asked.

"Yes. Is that still your favorite?"

"Let's find out." Starscream took a bite. The coppery mineral flooded his taste receptors with a hot-sweet flavor that he hadn't tasted in… well, never mind. "Yes!" he said, grabbing another one.

"Take all you want," Skyfire invited, nudging the box toward him. "Whoever lived here before had a pretty big stash," he added as he selected a blue-green fluorite for himself. "I guess cuprite might have been their favorite, too." He paused, glancing Starscream up and down. "Are you cold?"

"No," Starscream replied, his mouth full. "Why?"

"You look like an owl, all bundled like that."

Starscream glanced down, and realized that he was still clutching the dry-cloth around himself like a security shield. He wadded it into a bundle and tossed it aside.

"That's better," Skyfire said approvingly. "Nothing against owls, but…" he helped himself to another fluorite. "Mmm," he said, sucking on it slowly. "You do look delicious."

"You're not so bad yourself," Starscream answered with a grin. It was true. Skyfire did look beautiful, with the ancient starlight sculpting his form into blocks of light and shadow. With the faintly glowing blue-green fluorite residue caught on his lips, he looked, well… good enough to eat. 

Starscream grabbed a fluorite of his own. The mineral was remarkably pure; cultured, he suspected, rather than natural, and when he sniffed it, its burning-cold scent made him shiver.

"I have another question," Skyfire said. 

"Of course you do. What is it this time?"

Skyfire's tone dropped an octave—or three, his field radiating a slow wave of arousal as he asked, "Is kissing protocol?"

"Kissing?" Starscream rose to kneel between Skyfire's thighs, nudging them apart with his own. He caught hold of Skyfire's chin-guard and brought the fluorite crystal to his lips. He waited. Permission came as the slightest tilt of Skyfire's helm, which bared his throat, and that was all Starscream needed. He stuffed the crystal into Skyfire's mouth. "Chew," he said. "Don't swallow."

"But wha' 'bout kissing?" Skyfire asked, mumbling around the crystal.

Starscream added a second crystal, then a third. "I think that's enough questions out of you for one night," he said—and kissed him.


	4. The Savoring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starscream, having grown tired of Skyfire's questions, gives him something more interesting to do with his mouth.

_The roar of a jet thunders, unseen, through the antechamber. Skyfire has heard that noise in here before. The acoustics are strange, and he often hears things that aren't there. This time, however, it seems to be real. The external sensor-grid has registered an object in the sky above the outpost, and the noise is enough to rattle dust from the ceiling. Someone's out there. But who? And why are they circling? Have they noticed the outer doors?_

_His question is answered a klik later when a thunderous_ boom _sounds from the entrance hall. He freezes. That's the sound of the outer doors opening. The jet roar grows louder. Skyfire reaches for his weapon, then realizes he left it in his work area. He's unarmed, and there's nowhere to run. He takes a step toward the source of the noise, and that's as far as he gets. A silvery form blasts from the entrance hall and rushes straight at him, transforming midair. It slams into his midsection, taking them both to the floor._

_Skyfire struggles to rise, but strong hands grasp his shoulders and slam him back down. He's staring up into narrowed, scarlet optics._

_"S…Starscream?" he stammers. "How did you get in?"_

_"Anyone could have gotten in here, you moron!" Starscream yells, his face contorted with fury. "The door was unlocked!"_

_Skyfire is shaking head. "It wasn't—"_

_"You were supposed to leave!" Starscream cuts in. "You were supposed to go far away and never come back!"_

_"I won't," Skyfire says, finding his voice. "I won't leave you again, ever—"_

_"How the frag am I supposed to keep doing this?" Starscream's pitch is rising, along with his temper. "How can I keep you alive when you can't even lock a door? Why would you leave the Autobots? I gave you what you needed to buy your way back in, I gave you everything I had, and you just threw it away! This isn't a game, Skyfire! It's war, and Megatron wants me to kill you, and oh—Sky…"_

_Starscream's hands are balled against Skyfire's chest. He's biting his lips, shuddering to the tips of his wings, and all Skyfire can think is,_ Oh. There you are. _His Dragonfly is close enough to touch. He reaches up to cradle Starscream's cheek, drawing their faces together. Starscream splutters something vaguely indignant, but then they're kissing. It lasts only a moment before Starscream levers back again to glare at him._

 _"How could you leave_ me _?" he demands. His voice is breaking, and Skyfire thinks his spark might burst._

_"I didn't," Skyfire says. "I won't. I promise I'll never leave you again."_

_Starscream's expression hovers between clashing emotions, but then he lunges, seizing on Skyfire's mouth like a starving mech devouring his last drop of energon._

Welcome home _, Skyfire thinks. He's going to keep his promise, no matter what._

«-o-« {∞} »-o-»

Skyfire's mouth tasted of fluorite. The icy burn was both hot and cold, making Starscream's lips tingle. "You always did like this stuff," Starscream murmured, between kisses.

"Mmm, I like the way it bites," Skyfire agreed. He leaned in for another kiss but then hesitated. "You're not tired?"

Instead of answering, Starscream grabbed a handful of fluorite crystals and pushed one between Skyfire's lips. "Bite on this."

Skyfire took the crystal delicately, his silvery glossa darting out to lick its facets. His lips were soon sheened with blue-green residue, which Starscream kissed off him before feeding him another. This time he followed it in with two of his fingers. "Suck," he ordered, pumping them in and out. "Don't swallow."

Skyfire's optics dimmed. His engine-hum sank to an approving growl as he sucked, treating Starscream's fingers as he would a spike. When Starscream withdrew them they, too, were covered in fluorite. He held them to the light and pretended to study them.

"Now where," he mused, "do you suppose I should put these?" 

Skyfire, his mouth full of fluorite, responded with a guttural sound and a forward thrust of his hips. 

"Oh!" Starscream exclaimed, feigning surprise. "You mean here?" He reached between Skyfire's legs. "Well, I suppose I _could_ —"

Skyfire grabbed his hand. With a sound that was half gurgle and half growl, he lay back on the berth-pad, drew his knees up and unshielded himself. 

"I see," Starscream said, trailing his fluorite-covered fingertips around the outer lips of Skyfire's valve. Skyfire quivered, hips rising in a voiceless plea, but Starscream held back. They'd fragged twice since their Arctic reunion, but in neither case had there been time to sit back and admire the view. Now there was, and Starscream wanted to take full advantage of the opportunity.

Skyfire was smooth, silver-gray and glistening, his external node poking enticingly from between his swollen folds. Almost too pretty to touch, Starscream thought. _Almost_ being the key word. When he eased a fingertip between the engorged lips, Skyfire rewarded him with a gush of hot fluid. Skyfire bucked, trying to get more of the finger inside himself, but Starscream drew his hand away. 

"Patience," he chided, though he hardly felt patient himself. Skyfire gave him a mutinous look. His lips were moving as if he might be about to say something, and Starscream forestalled that possibility by shoving another crystal in his mouth. "Chew thoroughly," he said, sinking back on his heel-thrusters to watch. "I want your mouth _full_ of that stuff."

Skyfire glared, but obeyed.

When Starscream was satisfied that the crystal was fully pulverized, he turned his attention back to his lovely prize. He parted Skyfire's outer lips and traced the folds that guarded his channel, watching closely for his reaction. Fluorite was a popular ingredient in valve-creams but he'd never used the stuff pure, and the last thing he wanted was to cause any true discomfort. Skyfire's response suggested that wasn't going to be a problem. He arched his hips, pushing against Starscream's fingers until Starscream finally gave in and indulged him with firmer strokes.

"You're drenched," he whispered. 

Skyfire replied with a muffled groan. He was clawing at the berth-pad, his hips rising to Starscream's touch as Starscream had the power to make him levitate. 

_Oh, Sky._

It occurred to Starscream that somewhere along the way, he'd become rock-hard. In fact, his spike was jammed against the inner walls of its housing like a caged animal longing to be set free. He supposed the elders of his home aerie would have admonished him to thank some fabled Patron of Spike Erections for this miraculous recovery. They'd had patrons for everything, though for his own part, Starscream was more inclined to thank the gravitic stabilizer, some good energon, and, well…

Skyfire. 

Who was giving him pleading, desperate looks. His cheeks were dark with a flush of arousal which made his optics look fever-bright. Starscream glided his thumb over the swollen external node, eliciting more frantic, muffled music from his lover. Skyfire's heat and scent were intoxicating. Starscream's mouth went dry at the thought of leaning down to suck on that plump, juicy nub that could be the source of so much pleasure. He could still taste Skyfire's flavor in his mouth, and combined with the fluorite, it would be…

 _Completely_ off-protocol, he reminded himself.

No officer would admit to licking someone's valve, nor letting anyone touch his, or even touching his own. It was as taboo as, well… kissing, and since he'd already crossed _that_ line, he wasn't about to compound his weakness with other oral indulgences. He contented himself with giving Skyfire's node a gentle pinch and roll between his fingers, delighting in how he writhed at the touch, then delved inside. 

Skyfire's helm thrashed from side to side as Starscream pushed into him, coaxing him to open. He was hot inside and deliciously tight, his slick walls molding to Starscream's fingers in search of fullness. It was all too easy to imagine how those same walls would feel gripping his spike. A burst of charge took him by surprise. He glanced up just as Skyfire caught his arm, powerful fingers clamping down almost hard enough to leave dents. His optics were blazing nearly white, the cables in his neck straining as he struggled to maintain control over his mouthful of fluorite. 

"So close, already?" Starscream purred, stretching across Skyfire's frame. He licked one of his slick fingers, savoring the forbidden elixir. Skyfire gave a muffled whine and Starscream paused, studying his beseeching look as if it puzzled him. "Oh! You'd like a _taste_?" he said, tracing that same finger over Skyfire's quivering lips. "But I suppose you can't, considering. Tut-tut; what a shame."

"Mmmnngh!" Blue-green liquid bubbled at the corners of Skyfire's mouth, and Starscream bent to lick up an escaping trickle.

"I could let you swallow," he said, pretending to think about it, " _or_ …"

Skyfire was biting his lips so hard that his dentae were leaving marks in the protoform. He was on the verge of losing control in more ways than one, and much as Starscream enjoyed watching him come undone, he also knew when to relent.

"Or, he continued, "I suppose we _could_ fill that lovely mouth of yours," he bent to kiss it, "with something more exciting."

To demonstrate, he levered off Skyfire and stretched on his back, curling his fingers around his own codpiece. The metal was hot and solid beneath his fingers, the pressure of his touch excruciating as he squeezed along its length.

"What do you say, Sky? Would you like some of this?"

He triggered his panel open. His spike sprang up like an exclamation point, its scarlet bio-lights blazing, and Skyfire pounced. He grasped Starscream's hips, pinning him in place. That wasn't protocol, but Starscream let it slide. He had far better things to focus on—such as the frown of consternation on Skyfire's face.

"Trying to figure out how to make it all fit?" Starscream asked with a smirk, rolling his hips. He was by no means small, and Skyfire's cheeks were already bulging.

"Mmnhmnh," Skyfire said with an affirmative nod. He was studying the problem from all angles, as it were, and Starscream could practically hear the calculations going on inside his brilliant processor.

"Well," he said, "I'm sure you'll think of something. But in the meantime…" He rearranged himself, propping one of the roll-pillows beneath his helm, and reached down to stroke himself.

"Mmmrggghhh!!" Skyfire smacked his hand away and gave him a stern look. _Also_ not protocol, but Starscream was enjoying himself too much to care. Especially once Skyfire, apparently having thought of a solution, pressed his lips to the base of Starscream's erection and released a small gush of fluorite. _That_ was enough to bring Starscream's hips clear off the berth-pad.

The liquid heat would have been delicious all by itself, but then the fluorite burn lit up the sensor-nodes on the underside of his spike. The sensation was incredible, and he wondered, briefly, how it would feel to unshield his valve and let a little of the fluid trickle over it. That was a dangerous line of thought. Luckily, the soft kiss that landed on his upper thigh helped him banish it.

"Mmhmm?" Skyfire asked, his look communicating, clear as words, _Are you all right?_

"I…!" _Damn._ "It's okay lov… Sky." Starscream reached down to stroke his face and then wriggled his hips, making his spike bounce. "Do continue."

Skyfire smiled. He slid his palms beneath Starscream's hips, tilting them up for better access, and deposited another cascade of liquid fire. Then another, and another, working his way up Starscream's length. It was like having his spike set on fire, very slowly and in the most wonderful way imaginable. Skyfire paused when he reached the crown and sent Starscream a questioning look. When Starscream nodded, Skyfire enfolded his spike-head in lush, burning wetness.

"Ahh…! Unnh, Sky…"

Starscream arched, trying to get more of himself into that delectable heat, but Skyfire pinned his hips. Starscream was forced to lie still and simply endure as Skyfire swirled his glossa in wicked circles, gradually honing in on the sensor-laden notch on the underside of Starscream's crown. He pressed into it over and over in a slow, fucking motion that soon had Starscream writhing.

"Sky…!" 

Skyfire gave a self-satisfied hum as he reverted to soft, teasing swirls, followed by more of that unbearable probing. Then, as if none of that were bad enough, he raked his dentae against the shaft beneath Starscream's crown, a sensation which was as alarming as it was exquisite. Starscream wouldn't normally allow such a thing, but there was something compelling about the way Skyfire did it. He was treating Starscream's spike-head like an energon candy that he planned on savoring _very_ slowly, and he seemed utterly in the moment.

 _As if nothing exists except us_ , Starscream thought. Gazing up at the starry canopy, it was almost possible to imagine that was true. That they were alone in the universe, masters of their own fate. It was this ability of Skyfire's, his capacity to lose himself in pleasure, that had always mystified Starscream. His own mind was always on alert, making endless calculations. Skyfire, on the other hand, seemed able to shut his off and just _be_. The mysterious part was that he could sometimes take Starscream with him.

When Skyfire finally engulfed him, he howled. Actually howled. He bucked into Skyfire's mouth. Strong hands pushed him down, forcing him to lie still while his reality dissolved into a kaleidescope of sensation. The sight of those great wings overshadowing him, and the proud, crested helm bobbing between his legs. The half-forgotten texture of Skyfire's field, which meshed and withdrew from his own in time with those long, expert draws on his spike. That clever glossa that knew him better than he knew himself. Skyfire was finding every sensitive spot and milking out every gasp, every shudder. 

It was… oh frag. Oh _Primus_. The stars blurred, seeming to drop from their constellations as Starscream groped for Skyfire's shoulder. He caught the edge of a wing. 

"S—stop! Oh, stop…"

Skyfire eased off him with a wet 'pop' and smiled, his mouth glistening with crystal residue. He looked insufferably pleased with himself. Starscream tugged the wing. "Get over here," he said, barely recognizing his own voice. "Kiss me."

"Is that an order?" Skyfire asked.

"I could make it one, if you don't hurry up."

Skyfire laughed. He leaned over Starscream, bracing his weight with his elbows. "In that case, I can hardly disobey." He brushed their lips together, teasing Starscream with a taste of himself, then carefully opened Starscream's mouth with his. It could have been sloppy. It wasn't. Skyfire knew just how to kiss him, and when their glossae tangled, he lost himself in the flavor of their combined sex, the lingering burn of fluorite, and…

_Home?_

The thought jolted Starscream. His body was responding in all the old, familiar ways, and the urge to spread his thighs and pull Skyfire down onto himself— _into_ himself—was overpowering. Part of his mind was blaring strident warnings about protocol, while another was painting lurid images of an enormous, blunt spike probing him. The fact that such thoughts were making him _harder_ was… well, something he'd rather not think about. Being hard was a good thing. He broke their kiss and bumped his erection against Skyfire's belly, getting his attention. 

"Care for a ride?" he invited.

"Ride _you_?" Skyfire asked, his brow-ridges lifting in surprise. "Is that… protocol?"

"S'alright. We'll switch places once I'm in." 

"If you insist," Skyfire said. A shiver crossed his wingspan as he moved to line himself up. Starscream took hold of his hips to guide him, which wasn't strictly necessary though he felt he should display at least _some_ mastery of the situation. 

It was true that letting a partner ride him wasn't exactly protocol, but he was willing to make exceptions where it came to the other's comfort. His spike was, after all, covered in fluorite, and Skyfire might be tender from their previous encounter. It made perfect sense that Skyfire control the rate of penetration, and Starscream could pretend that it had nothing to do with having Skyfire on top of him. 

Nothing at all to do with being enclosed between those powerful thighs, or the feeling of Skyfire's weight gradually settling on him. Skyfire was being careful to keep his weight off Starscream's wings, of course, but even the slight pressure of his knees was thrilling. It gave the illusion of being held in place, entirely at Skyfire's mercy. The view was just an added bonus. Skyfire stunning like this, with his wings flared against the stars, his optics shuttered and his lip caught between his dentae.

Starscream reached up to trace his pectoral slats, pinching them in the way he knew Skyfire loved. Skyfire's optics fluttered open. He offered a hazy smile, then pushed. Starscream gasped as the clinging heat sheathed him fully and Skyfire's hips came to rest on his thighs. They both went still. Skyfire's expression was rapt, as if holding Starscream like this was, in some way, a sacred act. He shifted his hips, testing the fullness inside, and winced.

"You all right?" Starscream asked.

Skyfire reached down to stroke his fingers over Starscream's chest. "Mmmhmm." He clenched his valve, inner rings squeezing in sequence along Starscream's length, and wrung a gasp from both of them. "So much better than all right."

"Show me your spike," Starscream whispered. The words felt harsh in his vocalizer, too saturated with need. 

"You mean _this_ spike?" Skyfire asked as he slid a big hand down the length of his own fuselage to cradle his massive codpiece. He rocked into his palm, squeezing himself rhythmically. 

"I… unh! Wanna… see you jack yourself," Starscream managed, fighting to control his voice as Skyfire's hip-motions sent fiery jolts of sensation along the length of his hilted spike. "You can definitely consider _that_ an order."

"When you put it that way…" Skyfire opened his codpiece. His fully erect spike practically leaped into his hand, and Starscream could do nothing but stare. It was as magnificent as he remembered, its segmented, silver-gray length adorned with pale blue bio-lights that lent it an ethereal glow. 

"Is this what you wanted to see?" Skyfire asked, his voice rough and tender. He stroked himself with painful slowness, his fingers making wave-like motions as they slipped over each segment. He paused to flick each of the nodes along his underside, his gaze never leaving Starscream's. "Is it?"

Starscream opened his mouth, but all that came out was a squeak as he watched Skyfire's hand curl around his broad, blunt spike-head. His vents grew breathy as he massaged it, his valve clenching in rhythm with his touch. Starscream could only watch, transfixed, as a single drop of pre-fluid leaked from Skyfire's crown. It trembled there, jewel-like, until Skyfire swept it onto his thumb. His gaze went to Starscream's and he smiled, then began raising the hand to his own lips.

That did it. Starscream grabbed Skyfire's hand without thinking and dragged it to his own mouth. He seized on the thumb, sucking it greedily. It tasted… like… 

Like, he'd better reverse their positions _now_ , or protocol would fall by the wayside faster than Megatron could call a retreat. He seized Skyfire's arms and bucked into him, pushing him backward. Skyfire rolled, wrapping his legs around Starscream to pull him along, and they landed with Starscream on top. The box of crystals upended, spilling its contents across the berth-pad, but Starscream hardly noticed. 

He pushed Skyfire's knees to his chest, opening him fully. He rocked back, then re-entered slowly, relishing the changing expressions on Skyfire's face as Starscream gradually possessed him. He felt the inner rings part for him, one by one, and he knew precisely when he'd reached the ceiling node at the top of Skyfire's channel. 

"There you are," he said as Skyfire's head fell back, his throat arching in glorious surrender. He ground against the node, delivering his burden of fluorite exactly where it could do the most good. " _Mine_." 

"Y…yours," Skyfire agreed. His voice was a shattered whisper, his optics blazing like stars. "T-take me. Please."

Starscream took hold of Skyfire's spike, which was pressed firm against his belly and marveled, as he always did, at the way his hand could barely span its girth. 

"Gonna fuck you so hard," he rasped, and proceeded to take them both into orbit.

«-o-»

"Let me guess," Starscream said, some time later. "You're thinking up ways to convince me to stay on this rock permanently."

"Might have been," Skyfire admitted with a chuckle. His gaze was lost in the starry canopy, though Starscream hadn't missed the pensive line that had appeared between his brow-ridges. "Or maybe I was wondering how I could convince you to run away with me."

Starscream snorted. "So where exactly, dear Skyfire, is 'away?" he asked as he levered up on one elbow to grab one of the crystal shards that lay scattered around them. It was a celestite, and it tasted like starlight.

Skyfire plucked the crystal from his fingers. "Mmm," he said as he tasted it for himself. "Away is everywhere. Wherever we decide." He gestured toward the stars. "There's a whole universe out there, just waiting to be explored."

"Explored?" Starscream asked. "What about conquered?" 

"How can you conquer something infinite?"

Starscream snatched the crystal back and stuffed it in his mouth, ignoring the question. He settled his helm against Skyfire's shoulder and wedged himself more tightly against his side. If their bodies had settled into one of their customary ways of lying together, he was perfectly content to ignore the fact. He felt warm and heavy, and the sated purr of Skyfire's engines—ample proof of a job well done—were lulling him ever closer to recharge. 

Skyfire seemed less relaxed, however. He was gazing at the stars, his mouth compressed and his brow-ridges drawn into a frown. There was a troubled undercurrent in his field that refused to go away, and Starscream finally lifted his head with a growl.

"What?" he demanded.

Skyfire glanced toward him, his face all innocent, wide-opticked surprise. 

"Don't give me that," Starscream snapped. "I know your question-face when I see it."

Skyfire smiled. "All right, you've got me. I was wondering about your scar."

"What about it?" Starscream asked, instantly wary.

Skyfire glided a fingertip along the faint groove that marked Starscream's upper fuselage. "You said that warriors keep them as reminders. Can I ask what this one is a reminder of?"

"Sure," Starscream said, reaching for another crystal. "You're perfectly free to ask."

"Just so long as I don't expect an answer, hmm?"

"You _do_ catch on fast." Starscream reached to pop the crystal in Skyfire's mouth, but Skyfire held him off.

"I guess what I'm really wondering is if they serve as reminders of those who have fallen."

"They can," Starscream said. "Each scar is different, and every warrior who keeps one does so for his own reasons. We know better than to ask."

Skyfire nodded. "That makes sense, but…" he paused. "Well, let me ask this. You've mentioned that there are other people in your life."

"You mean the other people I frag," Starscream corrected, watching closely for Skyfire's reaction. 

"The people you frag," Skyfire agreed, though Starscream was gratified to note a faint tightening around his jaw. So, Skyfire wasn't immune to jealousy after all, much as he seemed determined to pretend he was above such things. "I'm wondering," Skyfire went on, glancing at the scar, "is there, or _has_ there been anyone… special?"

"Special," Starscream echoed, not liking the taste of the word in his mouth. "I suppose that depends on what you mean by special." Because Megatron was certainly 'special,' though not, Starscream suspected, in the way Skyfire probably meant.

"You know perfectly well what I mean," Skyfire retorted, though his tone remained gentle. "Is there someone who loves you, Starscream? Someone who'd be hurt by what we're doing?"

Starscream groaned inwardly. Trust Skyfire to consider the feelings of some imaginary lover. "No Skyfire, people don't love. They _frag._ That's how things work now."

Skyfire was quiet for a moment. "All right. So if I understand correctly, interfacing has become a ritualized dominance behavior, rather than a means of sharing pleasure with someone you... care about."

Starscream took a bite of his crystal. Amethyst. It was so intensely purple that it appeared black in the starlight, and it tasted rich and sweet, like something from a noble-mech's feast table. "I wish you wouldn't make it sound quite so much like your field notes," he said, chewing. "But essentially, yes. We don't _care,_ Skyfire. We—"

"Frag," Skyfire interrupted. "Yes, I think I've got that." He shifted closer, wrapping his arms around Starscream as if he was afraid that a sudden wind might blow them apart. "I'm just glad you're here," he whispered, brushing a kiss to his forehelm. "And I meant what I said earlier. I'll never leave you again, I promise."

Starscream sighed. He popped the remainder of the amethyst in Skyfire's mouth and wrapped his arms around his neck—as far as they'd go, anyway—and settled his cheek against Skyfire's chest. This move brought him face to face, quite literally, with the Autobot symbol that was now emblazoned above Skyfire's spark. He turned away with a growl and buried his face in Skyfire's armpit instead. Then a thought struck him.

"What if there _was_ someone special?" he asked, glancing up again. "Would you back off, or fight to keep me?"

Skyfire studied him. His faceplate was still dark with the flush of their recent passion, his mouth still swollen from kissing. "Fight," he said. "I'd fight. Maybe it's selfish, but I'm not letting you go without a struggle."

Starscream considered this. "Right answer," he said, and leaned down to kiss him. "Let's just hope you don't come to regret it."

"Never, my love," Skyfire whispered. "No matter what happens, I could never regret loving you." Much later, after Skyfire probably thought him to be asleep, Starscream heard him add, "My Dragonfly."


	5. Monsters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skyfire risks everything to get to Starscream's most deeply buried secrets, but how much of the truth can he handle?

_They're in the washracks, again. The room is hot, the air thick with steam that condenses on Starscream's plating like dew. Skyfire kneels before him, a wet cloth in his hands. Behind him, the luma-stone mosaic glimmers like stars, so bright and real-looking that Starscream feels he could walk out among them._

_"Do you see it now?" Skyfire asks. He's gazing at Starscream imploringly, as if begging him to see what he does, and Starscream realizes that he can._

_"Yes," he says. How could he have missed it? It's the constellation that shines brighter than all the rest, and the incandescent ruby that forms its spark casts a glow throughout the room, staining the mist crimson. Skyfire was right all along. The constellation_ was _one of Skyfire's_ Aerus Draconi _, his dragonflies. Starscream half-rises, wanting to cross the room for a closer look, when Skyfire suddenly asks,_

_"What is that?"_

_"What's what?" Realizing that Skyfire is staring at his chest, Starscream glances down and sees that a diagonal, hairline crack is opening across his fuselage."It's a scar," he answers impatiently. "What does it look like?"_

_Skyfire's expression hardens. "I can see what it_ is _, he snaps. "My question is, what's that_ thing _doing inside of you?"_

_"Thing?" Starscream echoes. "What thing?"_

_But as the crack grows wider, he sees that there_ is _something inside. It's like a second shell of armor. "Nothing!" he exclaims, clapping his hands over it. He's trying to hide the crack and hold its edges together, but it's no use. His chest splits, exposing a broad swathe of..._

_Starscream bends double, clutching his midsection in panic. "What's happening?"_

_Skyfire gives no answer. He's drawing away, his features twisting into a look of shocked revulsion. "Who are you?" he demands. "What is this…_ thing _you've let yourself become?"_

_"I haven't—" Starscream can hear his armor cracking, bits of his plating falling away and clattering on the tile floor. His hands are twisting into claws. "No!" he shouts, fighting to hear himself above the din of his breaking frame. "Please, I'm still me, still Starscreeeaaaa—"_

_His voice trails into a thready, whistling rasp. He can't make words anymore, and can only watch in terror as Skyfire slowly raises a large, orange cannon._

_"You're not my Dragonfly," Skyfire pronounces coldly. "You've turned into a monster. Now die!"_

_He pulls the trigger, and everything goes white._

«-o-« {∞} »-o-»

Skyfire had long since given up counting stars. His body, though sated, was on full alert, and the small noises reaching him through the darkness seemed unnaturally loud. He could hear the distant hum of a sweeper drone making its nocturnal rounds of the lab, and every now and then the ancient heating system, buried deep in the Martian bedrock, would kick on with a rumble that seemed to shake the whole outpost. He never even noticed those sounds during the day.

And then, of course, there was Starscream. He had fallen into recharge as if he were stepping off a cliff, but his rest wasn't peaceful. He kept shifting against Skyfire, muttering in his sleep. Skyfire hadn't been able to make out his words, but he did notice an odd rasp in his ventilations, and although the static buildup in his field had discharged during their lovemaking, his frame was still burning hot. Was he running a fever, or was the additional heat the result of some performance-enhancing modification? 

There was so much he couldn't ask. The web of circumstances that had brought Starscream crashing into his arms was a mystery, and likely to remain so. And yet… he was _here_. Wonderfully real and solid, his angular frame wedged firmly against Skyfire's as if he was trying to burrow inside, meld the two or them into one being. He'd settled, for the moment, with his helm pillowed on Skyfire's chest and his hand splayed possessively above his spark. It was as if he was trying, even in sleep, to hide the Autobot symbol from view. 

Skyfire covered the hand with his and stroked Starscream's knuckles. He needed the reassurance of touch. His finger-pads craved the ridges and crevices, places that were worn smooth as well as the rough patches, areas of fine scarring. Starscream's history, and secrets, were written on his frame. Skyfire wanted nothing more than to simply lay him down and explore every taste, every scent, every texture of him from helm to pede. He wanted to melt into him like sunlight, filling him with light and warmth until the darkness was driven out and he came back to himself. 

_You're still my Dragonfly_ , Skyfire thought. _Even if you can't see it, even if you don't believe it. I'll prove it to you._

Starscream shifted, grumbling in his sleep. "Sorry," Skyfire whispered, drawing his hand away. "Just rest. I didn't mean to disturb you." 

Starscream groaned, twisting his head from side to side. "No…"

"It's okay." Skyfire wished he could send a pulse of reassurance through their bond, but since that wasn't possible he contented himself by gathering Starscream closer against his frame. He rocked him, stroking his back and murmuring to him until, with a barely audible sigh, Starscream relaxed once more. 

Skyfire released a long exvent. He should sleep. Whatever training Starscream had in mind for him would probably be grueling, and he wanted to prove himself capable of learning. Perhaps he'd never wanted to be a warrior, but he wanted to become what Starscream needed. Not just so that he could be there catch him if he ever fell again, but also because it gave Starscream a reason to keep coming back to him. If he could just keep showing him the light, then… maybe. Maybe he'd start to see it on his own.

Skyfire forced himself to relax, slowing his ventilations until his racing spark began to slow as well, matching the same rhythm. It lasted for only a moment, because Starscream suddenly tensed with a low hiss, his joints locking tight. His head jerked up, his optics wide and unseeing. His mouth moved as if he was trying to form words.

"Sssk…!" he finally managed. "Sky—!"

"It's okay," Skyfire whispered, stroking his face. "I'm right here."

"NO! Please, I'm still me, still—"

He screamed. It was the most spark-chilling sound Skyfire had ever heard, a cry of utter horror and desolation. He caught Starscream close, wrapping his arms tight around the stiff frame, and was shocked by the low, ominous whine of Starscream's rifles priming. 

"It's okay!" Skyfire cried, fighting panic. "I've got you, you're safe."

"No!" Starscream twisted out of his arms and leaped up. The berth-pad jounced beneath his weight and he lost his balance, tumbling from the edge of the platform yet still somehow landing on his feet. "Don't shoot!" he cried, raising his hands as if to ward off blows. "I'm still me! I'm not a monster!"

"A monster? Of course you're not," Skyfire assured him. He rose to his knees, keeping his stance low so as to appear non-threatening. "It's okay. You're safe, love. No one's going to hurt you."

Starscream froze, optics resetting. "You're not even armed," he whispered, sounding dazed. "Where… am I?"

"Mars," Skyfire told him, his spark breaking over the lost, scared tone in his mate's voice. "This is my berthroom. You spent the night here; we made love. Do you remember?"

"I…" Starscream glanced at his arms, then pressed his balled fists against his chest as if testing it for solidity. "I remember."

Skyfire shifted to the edge of the platform. "Come back to bed," he said, reaching to him. "Let me—"

He never got to finish. The door slid open and Starscream whirled toward it, weapons rising. Skyfire caught the briefest glimpse of something small and dark entering the room before the shape, whatever it was, was swallowed in a nimbus of laserfire. Skyfire launched himself from the platform and seized Starscream's arms.

"Stop!" he cried. "Stop shooting, please!"

"Let go of me!" Starscream snarled. He twisted violently, yanked an arm free and fired again. His shot hit the console and the stars blacked out, plunging the room in darkness. "Just _die_!" he shrieked, firing wildly. "Die already, you miserable, stinking pile of slag!"

"Starscream—STOP!" Skyfire wrapped a leg around Starscream's and pulled him off his feet. They fell together. Starscream's rifle misfired, carving a jagged path across the ceiling before Skyfire managed to grab his arm and pin it to his side. "It's okay, it's okay," he murmured, with an assurance he didn't feel. "You're safe now; nothing's going to hurt you."

The smoke was clearing. Skyfire watched anxiously, his mind filling in visions of what the small, huddled form might have been. His first, horrified thought had been that it was a human. Realistically he knew that nearly impossible, but he still went weak with relief when he saw what the object actually was.

"It's one of my sweepers," he said. 

"One of your _what_?"

"A cleaning drone," Skyfire said. "There's a small army of them, and they keep the outpost clean."

"What's it doing in here?" 

"I've been giving them the run of the place."

"Is that so?" Starscream shoved free of Skyfire's grip and stalked over to the blackened shape. He nudged it with a toe-cap, keeping his weapon trained on it as if he feared it might attack him. "And you didn't think to _mention_ this?" 

"I should have," Skyfire admitted. He rose, crossed to the wounded drone and scooped it up before Starscream had a chance start shooting again. "I'm sorry it startled you."

"Just make sure they stay out of my way from now on," Starscream growled. 

"I will instruct them accordingly," Skyfire replied as he carried the drone down the short passage that led to his lab. Starscream trailed after him and stood watching, from several paces away, as Skyfire set the drone on one of the laboratory work-tables and switched on an overhead light to examine it. 

"Well?" Starscream prodded after a moment. "Can you fix it?"

Skyfire glanced at him. His wings were raised high, and he was glaring at the drone with a look of disgust, his mouth twisted as if its very existence offended him, and yet… his hands were trembling. He looked shaken, almost as if he, too, had been expecting the drone to be something else.

"I should be able to," Skyfire lied, switching off the overhead light. "Just a few parts that need replacing, and it'll be good as new." 

In actuality, the sweeper was done for. Its protective shielding was no match for the onslaught of military-grade weapons. Skyfire might be able to salvage some parts, but that was it. Starscream, however, looked oddly relieved—a reaction which he swiftly covered with a haughty sneer.

"Excellent," he said, stalking away. "I certainly hope it's learned its lesson."

"I'm sure it has," Skyfire answered dryly. He draped a tarp over the sweeper, further hiding it from view, and glanced at Starscream's tense, turned back. He drew in a deep ventilation to steady himself before asking the question that needed to be asked. "Starscream," he said, keeping his tone as neutral as possible, "did you realize that your rifles primed while you were sleeping?"

Starscream spun toward him. His mouth opened as if he was about to say something, then closed again. He darted a look at the tarp-covered sweeper, optics narrowing, and jumped over the loft railing. 

"Starscream…"

Skyfire vented a sigh and followed. He was half afraid that Starscream would make a break for the door, but he didn't. He strode to the galley instead, yanked open the door of the chill unit and seized a cube of energon. 

"Starscream?"

"Hsst!" Starscream stalked past him to the entertainment area and plunked down on the bench-seat, his wings, elbows, and rifles sticking out in all directions like a set of hackles. "I don't want to talk about it."

"I guessed as much."

Starscream shot Skyfire a look that would have burned the chromites off most mechs' armor and took a defiant gulp from his cube. Was he fueling up for a flight back to Earth? Or just keeping his hands busy? In either case, Skyfire thought, it might be a good idea to do likewise. Turning his back on Starscream, he went into the galley for a cube of his own.

"How dare you patronize me?" Starscream snapped abruptly.

Skyfire paused, his hand on the door of the chill unit. "What do you mean?" he asked, glancing back. 

"I know why you covered that drone! You know perfectly well it isn't repairable."

"Perhaps not," Skyfire admitted as he finished getting the cube. "I still plan to try." He seated himself on one of the stools beside the galley counter, taking care not to block Starscream's route to the door. Making him feel trapped was the surest way to guarantee a hasty exit.

"Of course you do," Starscream muttered, taking a swig from his cube. "Far be it for you to admit that certain things can't be fixed."

"Certain things, like us?"

It wasn't really a question, and they both knew it. Starscream glared at him. "I could have shot you in your sleep!"

"Could have," Skyfire agreed, "but didn't."

Starscream exploded to his feet. "You're living in the past!" he snarled, pacing the room. "You're sitting around here waiting for some… _ghost_ to come back! You think I'm your Dragonfly; I'm not! I'm a m—" he broke off. "A killer."

_Monster._

The unsaid word hovered between them, making the air in the room feel heavy, like the charged atmosphere before a storm. _Be careful_ , Skyfire's grand-carrier's voice warned from the depths of his memory. But Skyfire had never been afraid that the dragonfly might sting. He'd been much more afraid of losing the creature's trust, and so he'd kept himself perfectly still, hardly daring to vent, and _Draconis Aerus_ had lingered and groomed herself on the tip of his finger.

But this was different. Holding still wasn't an option anymore. He had to move, make a choice, say something if he hoped to make this dragonfly, _his_ Dragonfly, feel safe enough to stay. He slid from his stool and edged across the room to the entertainment area. He could feel Starscream gaze on him as he lowered himself onto one of the bench seats. 

"We've all killed," he said after they'd regarded each other for a moment in silence. "Autobots _and_ Decepticons. Even our medics. We're all part of this war, so can any of us really claim not to be killers? It's what warriors _do_."

"That's different, Sky," Starscream replied, his tone quiet. "You know it is." 

"Let's pretend I don't," Skyfire said. "Can you explain how it's different?"

"It just is!"

"Is it?"

Starscream's features twisted into a frustrated pout that would, under other circumstances, have made Skyfire want to kiss him silly. 

"All right," Skyfire said, after weighing his thoughts. "Let me ask you this. You were in charge of the Arctic energy project, weren't you? You were the only one who could have triangulated the crystal shaft's location using the dampening effect it would have on your trine-bond with Thundercracker and Skywarp, and the energy extraction equipment I saw was very obviously your design. Megatron might have been in command, but it seems abundantly clear that you were directing the project."

"Of course I was! Megatron is an undereducated fool. He lacks the scientific background, let alone the technical expertise necessary for—"

"So," Skyfire cut in, "draining heat from the Earth's core was _your_ idea."

Starscream froze as if he'd been slapped. "What are you getting at?"

"I'm saying that if every organic life-form on Earth had frozen to death, that would have been your doing. Essentially. Am I correct?"

"Where are you going with this?"

"Am I correct?" Skyfire persisted. 

Starscream glanced at the door, then shrugged. "Yes."

"Thank you. I also know you hijacked Dr. Arkeville's doomsday device and used it an attempt to blow up the planet. And…" he paused. It was a low blow, but he needed to say it. "You also shot me. Twice."

Starscream flinched. "The second time was an accident," he muttered, dropping his gaze to the floor. 

Skyfire cringed inwardly. He hated this. Not just because he was taking a terrible risk, but also because Starscream's clenched fists, hiked wings and tense jaw all spoke of pain. Not anger, but pain. But there was an unspoken presence here, some factor that made itself known only by its effects. It was like a black hole, detectable only by the gravitational force it exerted on surrounding objects. It was distorting every conversation they had, and the only way of getting to the bottom of it was by going through. Skyfire took a sip from his energon cube, fortifying himself before he continued.

"I also know that you've been involved in any number of Decepticon plots intended to steal Earth's resources and destroy my friends. You personally helped taint the Autobot energy supply, causing us to go berserk, and you also stole the Negavator, deliberately infecting Red Alert with a virus in the process."

"Fragged him, too," Starscream added with a sneer. "Mustn't forget that."

Skyfire vented a sigh. "Yes." Starscream's earlier comment about hardlining being a vector for transmitting viruses had given him a fairly good idea of _why_ Starscream had seduced Red Alert, and the thought of Starscream coldly using someone in that way was painful. Was he really up for this, he wondered? Given what he'd seen and experienced, did he dare to even imagine what demons Starscream might still be hiding? And yet… Starscream was standing by the exit but had made no move toward it. Instead, he was watching Skyfire almost hungrily, as if his life depended on whatever Skyfire said next.

"Starscream," Skyfire said, his tone gentle. "Those are all things I know about, and yet I've welcomed you into my home, my berth, and my body. If you would allow it, I'd welcome you into my spark, too. You always have a home with me. So tell me, love, what is it? What could you have done that you think I wouldn't be able to forgive?"

For several long spark-beats, Starscream just stared at him. His gaze was haunted, terrifyingly vulnerable. When he glanced at the door, then took a small step toward it, Skyfire wondered if he'd just made the worst mistake of his life. Had he pushed too hard? Driven his Dragonfly away, rather than drawing him closer? 

Starscream paused, his hand on the door. He glanced back. "Skyfire," he said, pulling a ragged breath through his intakes. "I—"

The comm in the galley went off. It was a horrible, jangling blare, loud enough to raise Primus himself, and Skyfire wasn't the least bit surprised when Starscream spun toward it, a rifle raised. 

"Don't shoot!" Skyfire said, jumping in front of it. "It's just my comm."

Starscream lowered his arm. " _That's_ your comm?"

Skyfire glanced at the callsig as he reached to mute the racket. _Dr. P. Chadar_ , the screen read. Priya. Why would _she_ be— _oh_. A wave of guilt swamped him. In the excitement of Starscream's arrival yesterday, he'd somehow forgotten the plans he'd made with her weeks ago. 

"I need to answer this," he told Starscream, "but I want to hear whatever you were going to tell me." He opened the channel. "Priya," he began, "I'm so—"

::Do not tell me you've forgotten our hot date,:: she interrupted. She sounded amused rather than angry, which somehow only increased Skyfire's sense of guilt.

"I did," he admitted. "I got distracted with…" he glanced at Starscream, "a project."

 _Project?_ Starscream mouthed back at him.

Skyfire raised a finger to his lips, shaking his helm.

::Of course you did,:: Priya said with a laugh. She had a warm, pleasant laugh, filled with affection. ::That is the reason why I'm calling. You said you would call when leaving. You have not called, so I am picturing you up there in your ice-cave, working on some top-secret experiment. Thus, I determined that a friendly reminder was called for.::

"You're right, Priya, I did completely forget. Is there any chance we could—"

::Reschedule? Not on your jet-pack, Mister Absent-Minded Professor. Have you checked the weather?::

"Not since yesterday," Skyfire replied. He glanced again at Starscream—who wasn't there. The exit door was sliding shut behind him.

::The storm is moving in faster than we had expected,:: Priya was saying, though Skyfire was no longer quite able to focus on her words, ::and you know as well as I do that the forces of nature do not take rain-checks.::

"Priya," Skyfire said, his voice drowning in panic, "I'll call you back. I need to—"

::See what I did there?:: she cut in jovially. ::Forces of nature? Rain-checks? Anyway, get your aft down here. Chadar out.::

The comm went dead. Skyfire stared at it for a moment, then bolted after Starscream. He charged down the down the short passage that led to the antechamber, vaulting over one of the sweepers when it didn't move out of his way fast enough. Once he reached the antechamber, his pedes barely touched the floor. He transformed, flipping sideways in a quarter-roll to fit his wings between the standing stones without slowing down. 

As he hurled himself into the grand entrance hall, he saw the great outer doors sliding closed. They'd been locked; he'd double-checked the night before. How had Starscream gotten through them without the codes? It didn't matter. He transmitted the unlocking code as he rocketed along the hall. As usual, it took several attempts. He was about to simply blast the lock mechanism when the doors finally, reluctantly slid apart, and he hurtled out into the fading night. 

The sky was deep magenta and peppered with stars. A lurid cyan haze had appeared along the eastern horizon, heralding dawn, and a few wispy clouds drifted near the zenith. Apart from that, the sky was empty. There was no sign of Starscream anywhere, not even a vapor trail. Skyfire gunned his engines, pushing himself to escape velocity.

Later, it would occur to him that there was no way he could have caught up. Starscream had always been fast; one of the fastest fliers Skyfire had ever seen, and if he'd managed to escape Mars' atmosphere within a few kliks, he was as good as halfway back to Earth by now. Skyfire wasn't equipped to catch up. Not without his— 

A familiar, private channel opened. ::Down here, Sky.::

Skyfire transformed so fast that he flew head over thrusters, somersaulting midair as he flared his wings against the thin, cold atmosphere to slow himself down. When he finally managed to look down, he saw Starscream standing on top of the outpost. He was atop the "chin" area of the so-called Face on Mars, his bright form cast in sharp relief against the dusty rock. 

"I thought you'd left," Skyfire said as he flew closer.

::I picked up on that.:: Starscream was standing with his arms crossed, his feet planted wide, and a distinctly self-satisfied smirk on his upturned features. ::I did think about it.::

"But you decided not to?"

Skyfire set down a few paces from where Starscream stood, not wanting to make him feel crowded. Starscream cocked his helm to one side, studying him. ::I must say I'm flattered that you thought I could break free of the atmosphere that quickly,:: he said. ::And it's a good thing you kept our old comm channel, or I wouldn't have been able to call out to you.::

"I… I just couldn't see you," Skyfire said sheepishly. "And of course I kept it. If anything, I'm surprised you did." 

They had developed the channel during their days as explorers, encrypting it with nearly impenetrable security protocols to prevent academic espionage. No one, as far as Skyfire was aware, had ever been able to crack it. 

::I'm just full of surprises, aren't I?:: Starscream replied. Switching to voice communication, he added, "I did tell you I wouldn't leave without saying goodbye."

"You are leaving, then." It wasn't really a question, since Skyfire feared the answer could only be yes.

Starscream regarded him for a moment. "There are things you don't know about me," he said at last. "Things you're never _going_ to know. Can you accept that, Sky?"

As he spoke, the sun breached the horizon, spilling cobalt light against one side of his face. The optic on his shadowed side glowed like a scarlet ember. Skyfire considered the question. Was this what Starscream had been about to say when Priya's call had interrupted them? He called up the memory of Starscream's expression in that moment. The openness, the desperate need to trust. No. He'd fled because he'd been on the verge of spilling his deepest secrets. 

Skyfire nodded. "I can accept it," he said quietly. "I won't ask you any more questions about your past."

Starscream inclined his helm. "So," he said after a pause. "Who's your hot date?"

Skyfire laughed, a response to the release of tension as much as anything else. "Her name's Priya Chadar. She heads the human settlement project at Arsia Mons."

"Arsia Mons…" Starscream's optics lost focus, and Skyfire guessed he was cross-referencing the name against his internal charts. He stiffened. "She's _here_? On Mars? Mars has _humans_?"

"Yes, there's a small settlement. They're working on a permanent base, with plans to terraform—"

"First the sweeper, now this! When were you planning to tell me?"

"I should have," Skyfire admitted. "It slipped my mind."

"It slipped your mind that this dust-ball is overrun with Autobot allies?"

"It's hardly overrun. There are about thirty of them."

"And they breed like fruitflies! You'll have an entire city's worth in no time. So tell me, what do they make of _this_?" Starscream waved, indicating their general surroundings. "They must be quite intrigued by the presence of an ancient Cybertronian base in their very own solar system!"

"They don't know it's a Cybertronian base."

"Really? They can't be _that_ stupid. Were you aware that their space agencies have photographs of your Martian stronghold?"

"They believe it's a natural feature," Skyfire told him. "I've encouraged that belief. I've also led them to believe that I live elsewhere on Mars."

"Ah, yes. Would that be the ice-cave that your little friend mentioned?"

"It is. I've set up a rudimentary outpost in a cave near the north pole, and I route my communications through it so that it seems as if I live there."

Starscream huffed. "Maybe they _are_ that stupid." He spun, staring toward the sunrise. "Strange color," he observed.

"Yes, the scattering of light wavelengths through the Martian atmosphere causes sunrises and sunsets to appear—"

"Blue. Yes, I can see it, and I know how it works." Starscream gave him a sidelong glance. "So, tell me about your… date."

"I can't," Skyfire said. "It's scientific. That's all I can say."

Starscream's wings twitched. "You're doing _science_ with someone else?" His tone was joking, but there was a brittle edge beneath the humor. 

"I'm afraid so." Skyfire took a step toward him, reaching to touch his arm, but Starscream spun beyond his reach.

"That didn't take long," Starscream said, his lips curling in a smirk. "At least I waited before being unfaithful. You seem to have gotten right to it."

"I…" Skyfire hesitated. Part of him wanted to apologize, but that seemed ridiculous. "They needed my help," he said at last, wings rising in a shrug. "I like to help, where I can. It gives me a sense of purpose."

Starscream snorted. He folded his arms, glaring once again at the sunrise. "So," he said. "How long are you going to be?"

Skyfire did a quick mental calculation. "About half a phobe." 

Starscream shot him a quizzical look. "A phobe?"

"A transit of the moon Phobos," Skyfire explained. "Phobos orbits Mars every—"

"Seven hours and thirty-nine minutes," Starscream concluded for him. "So you're saying you'll be ready for your first aerial combat training session in _precisely_ three hours, forty-five minutes, and thirty seconds?"

Skyfire thought about it. His estimate depended on nothing going wrong with Priya's experiment, but if this was the chance Starscream was willing to give him, he'd take it. "Yes."

"Fine. You can expect me at these coordinates."

The private channel opened again, and a small data-packet came through. When Skyfire opened it, it was a map of the Martian terrain with a blinking indicator near the eastern end of Valles Marineris, the gigantic canyon system just above Mars' equator.

"I'll be there," Skyfire promised.

"Just remember what I said yesterday," Starscream said as he stalked past him, passing close enough that their wings brushed. "I don't tolerate slackers. If you can't be there on time, don't bother coming."

"Understood. And Starscream?"

Starscream paused at the edge of the cliff that formed the Face's "chin" and glanced back.

::You might need this,:: Skyfire said over the channel as he transmitted a data-packet of his own.

::What is it?:: Starscream asked.

With the blue light glancing off his frame, he looked ethereal, like the Seekers of ancient legend who'd served as messengers of the original Thirteen—and, some said, Primus himself. 

::The keys to our castle,:: Skyfire explained. ::The packet includes codes for every door in the outpost. You'll need them to get back inside.::

Starscream gave a terse nod and hopped off the cliff. As he did, a subtle vibration ran through the rock beneath Skyfire's feet. Starscream hesitated midair, staring down. When Skyfire followed him to the edge of the cliff and glanced down as well, he saw the large outer doors sliding open.

"You were saying?" Starscream murmured, as Skyfire flew to hover beside him. 

"Those were locked! You didn't…?"

Starscream shook his helm. "You might want to reconsider some of your security protocols, Sky."

Skyfire stared at the doors—the same doors _he_ could barely get open, and sighed. "I'll add it to my maintenance list."

"Delighted to hear it." 

A hand curled under Skyfire's chin-guard, and he found himself pulled into a sudden, harsh kiss. It reminded him of the way Starscream had kissed him that first time, when they'd been in the Decepticon brig. It was fierce and claiming, Starscream's lips curled back just far enough to give Skyfire a taste of his fangs. 

"Just remember whose you are in the berth," he muttered as he drew back.

Skyfire tipped their forehelms together. "I'm yours in every possible way," he said as he drew Starscream back for a second kiss, this one softer, melting. Heat bloomed beneath his armor as Starscream relaxed against him, their fields and frames meshing in all the old, familiar ways. "Forever," he added, as they broke apart. "Nothing's going to change that. Nothing could. I promise."

Starscream stared at him, his expression frozen between disbelief and a feverish expression that might have been hope. He looked as if he was about to say something, but then shook his helm as if he'd changed his mind. 

"Three hours, forty-two minutes," he said.

"See you in half a phobe," Skyfire whispered. He leaned in, stole another kiss—and was off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes on Chapter 5: Deepest thanks to Biting Moopie and Dark Star of Chaos for betaing this chapter. It's a turning point in Starscream and Skyfire's emotional development, and your feedback was vital in helping me get it where it needed to go. *bows deeply*
> 
> For those who use Tumblr, I'm pleased to announce that I've created an [Ao3 SkyStar RSS feed](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ao3feed-skystar) which you can subscribe to! If it works as intended, it will post a link for every story that's posted on Ao3 with the Skyfire/Starscream pairing tag from now on. (There is, of course, a distinct possibility that it might _not_ work as intended; I'm new at this, so bear with me!
> 
> Lastly, I've decided to start using these end notes to start reccing other stories that readers of this one might like, so if you enjoyed this chapter and are looking for something else to read, you might also enjoy [Spark of my Spark](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3329219/chapters/7278548), by Skywinder.


	6. Interference

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starscream has less than four hours in which to learn all Skyfire's secrets, and comes dangerously close to revealing one of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry I've been slow with updates, but here's an extra-long chapter to make up for it. For those who might not recall: In Chapter 5 Skyfire received an ill-timed call from his human friend Priya, and now has to fly to a different region of Mars to help her with an experiment. He and Starscream have agreed to rendezvous in just under four hours for Skyfire's first aerial combat training session, and in the meantime, Starscream is left to wander the base unsupervised. What could possibly go wrong?

It isn't that Starscream doesn't like recharging alone. He just gets cold. Also, their berth is too big. Being able to sprawl might seem like a luxury for the first breem or two, but without anyone to sprawl _on_ , it's hard to find a comfortable arrangement of wings and limbs. 

It's also much too quiet. How is he supposed to relax without the low, rhythmic purr of powerful engines lulling him towards recharge? Well, he can't, and he's getting good and sick of that crack of light shining under the door, too. Finally giving up, he rolls off the berth and storms into his and Skyfire's shared work area. 

"When the frag are you coming to bed?"

Skyfire, who is sitting with his back to the door, glances around. "Oh." He gives him a faint smile. "I'll be there soon."

"You said that a joor ago," Starscream grumbles, marching over. "If you're not coming to bed, I'll just have to sleep—" 

He breaks off, poised in the act of climbing into Skyfire's lap. He can now see what's on Skyfire's desk, and it's not what he'd expected. He'd thought he'd see a stack of student reports in need of marking, or possibly a star chart. Instead, Skyfire has been staring at a holocube, one that Starscream hasn't seen before.

The image it holds is of Skyfire, but it's a Skyfire he's never met. This is a Skyfire in the early stages of younglinghood, his wings massive in comparison to his small frame. He's in a jungle-like setting, his hand outstretched as he gazes raptly at the colorful winged creature that has settled on his finger.

"Who's this handsome fellow?" Starscream asks.

"Me, of course," Skyfire replies. His smile is older, sadder, and yet somehow identical to the one in the holo.

"I knew _that_ ," Starscream says, making himself comfortable in Skyfire's lap. "I meant your little friend."

Skyfire's laugh is faint but genuine, and it makes Starscream's spark skip a beat. He can tell something's wrong, but it can't be _that_ bad if he can still make Skyfire laugh. 

" _Draconis Aerus_ ," Skyfire explains, a hint of his teacher voice creeping in. "They're natives of an organic world in Sector Zeta Six-Three. This holo was taken at a science exhibit that my grand-carrier took me to, and I believe it was at this moment that I knew I wanted to become an explorer. I've always dreamed of visiting the world these creatures are from."

"But?" 

Skyfire sighs. He pulls a datascroll from his desk drawer and hands it to Starscream. It's a funding request. Starscream doesn't have to read any farther than the big, orange glyph stamped across the top to know what the response was.

"I've never been able to get funding," Skyfire says. "I submit a proposal each time Cybertron's galactic orbit brings us within self-powered flight range of the _Draconis_ star system, but the funding always goes to some other team."

Starscream snorts. He doesn't need to ask why. Despite the Cybertronian Exploration Council's claims of impartiality, the most enviable assignments—such as exploration of an evolving world teeming with organic life—always went to the 'most qualified' exploration teams. Somehow, those most-qualified teams never included fliers, despite the fact that it would be cheaper to send them.

"Sector Zeta Six-Three," Starscream says, doing some mental calculations. "That will be within your flight range for the next half vorn, correct?"

Skyfire shrugs. "For all the good that does."

Starscream curls into him, resting his helm against a broad shoulder. "What if we funded ourselves? Then we could go with or without the almighty Council's approval."

Skyfire's arms wrap around him. "How do you propose we do that?"

Starscream burrows against his neck. This is a favored spot, rich with Skyfire's scent, and Starscream sighs as his olfactory sensors fill with its musky sweetness. This _is_ better. He's warm now, and his limbs know what to do with themselves now that they have Skyfire to wrap around. "I'll think of something," he promises. "That is, _if_ I ever get any recharge."

This time, Skyfire's laugh comes from his belly. "I'm sensing a ruse to get me into bed." 

"Mmm, perhaps. Then again, you never know what I'll come up with after a solid night's rest. And, perhaps, a leisurely morning frag," Starscream adds, nipping at an exposed throat cable. "You know how _those_ always inspire me."

Skyfire shivers. "I'll see what I can do." He rises, lifting Starscream in his arms, and dims the lights with a verbal command. Starscream offlines his optics as he feels himself being carried. 

"We can't afford to alienate the Council," Skyfire adds as he sinks down on the berth, arranging himself in the way Starscream prefers. "Even if we got around the funding issue, they could still revoke our certification if we—"

"Sky." Starscream pulls him into a kiss. It's one of his special ones: long, slow and assiduously thorough, and Skyfire surrenders little by little. When his engine-throb has sunk to an easy purr and the lingering tension has drained from his cables, Starscream releases his mouth. "Trust me?" he asks, pressing their forehelms together.

Skyfire smiles. "You know it."

"Good. Now go to sleep."

"As you command, my love." 

Skyfire closes his optics, but Starscream waits until he's certain his tired mate has drifted off before allowing himself to do the same. It's not that he dislikes recharging alone, but this is better. Warmer. As he sinks into recharge, he sets his mind to work on their problem. He's bound to think of something.

«-o-« {∞} »-o-»

Starscream watched Skyfire climb skyward. He was no more than a speck, but Starscream saw him do a series of barrel rolls, the sun flashing from his broad wings. Then he was gone, his form swallowed by the tan sky, and Starscream was alone. His lips still tingled from their kiss, and Skyfire's last words to him continued to echo through his processor.

 _Forever,_ Skyfire had said. _Nothing's going to change that. Nothing could, I promise._

Seductive words, but how much did they really mean? Starscream gazed across the tundra. In the full light of day, the Martian landscape was as dull and featureless as he remembered. "I should leave," he said aloud, testing the words. Was it just the thin air that made them sound so flat? So unconvincing? An icy wind coiled between his thighs, making him shiver. His shoulders still ached where large hands had grasped them in the throes of climax, and the remembered burn of fluorite still abraded his senses. 

He wasn't going anywhere. Not while the afterimages of Skyfire's barrel-roll still hovered in his visual field, nor while his short-term memory banks remained flooded with the incomparable image of Skyfire— _his_ Skyfire—falling apart beneath him. His senses felt alive in ways they hadn't since that long-ago storm. It was as if he, too, had been frozen in time. Now he was playing with fire, and like a moth, he couldn't resist the flame. 

Surrendering to the inevitable, he turned and few back into the mountain base. The massive outer doors rumbled closed, sealing him in the vastness of the grand entrance hall, and he was immediately struck by how different the place felt without Skyfire. It seemed bigger, somehow, and more ancient. As he flew along the passage he began noticing figures carved in the walls. They were so covered in dust that he hadn't noticed them before. 

They were the Thirteen Primes of legend, each recognizable by the relic he or she held: Solus Prime with her Forge, Alchemist with his Lenses, and so on. The flickering light of the wall sconces gave the figures a semblance of life. Their sightless gazes followed him as he flew, and he made a point of firing his retro-thrusters to make extra noise. Let the dead Primes know they had a Seeker in their midst! One who did not serve at their beck and call, but roamed where he pleased. Someday _he_ would rule the planet the Thirteen had supposedly founded, and their legends would be relegated to books of mythology, where they belonged.

He regretted using his retro-thrusters the moment he entered the antechamber. A cacophony of echoes arose, blasting him like a sonic tidal wave. It emanated from the circle of stone pillars at the center of the room, slammed against the walls, and ricocheted back again. It was deafening. At least as bad as the hideous racket that Autobot, Jazz, was so fond of making, and it was slightly worse than Thundercracker in one of his rare good moods. 

"Oh, shut up already," he grumbled.

The room fell silent. Starscream froze, glancing around. There was no one else here, not even one of those annoying sweeper things. Had the stone pillars just responded to his command?

"Make noise again!"

His voice rang through the chamber, but quickly faded. He shook himself. It had been a coincidence; nothing more. He landed and strode toward the doors that led to the base's main living area. If his steps were rushed, it was only because of the time. It had nothing to do with the eerie, almost sentient quality of the silence, and he certainly didn't jump when his comm pinged.

"Starscream here," he snapped, recognizing the callsig. "What do you want?"

::Location: Requested,:: a familiar vocoder droned.

"That's my business! I'm on a special assignment from Megatron. That's all _you_ need to know."

::Mission: Locate the traitor Skyfire, and bring back his head.::

 _Head_? That was new. Megatron had obviously added that colorful detail after their conversation about the mission. What else might he have added? Starscream could only guess.

"These things take time, Soundwave. I've been tracking him for less than a single Earth day, and if Megatron's getting impatient, that's just too—"

::Monacus operative: in trouble.::

Starscream had to pause while his mind recalibrated. "Octane?"

::The very same.::

"What kind of trouble?" Starscream hoped it was something real this time—not ghosts, zombies, or Primus knew what else.

::The Autobot variety,:: Soundwave responded. His tone conveyed a hint of amusement, as if he'd guessed the direction Starscream's thoughts. ::Namely: Cosmos.::

" _Cosmos_?" Starscream was floored. "The mighty Octane was bested by a minibot?"

There was a beat of silence. ::Affirmative.::

"And what does our noble leader expect _me_ to do about it? Fly to Monacus and solve our associate's difficulties for him?"

::Energy data: crucial,:: Soundwave intoned. ::Intercept mission: required.::

"No, I'll tell you what's required! Octane needs to get his feckless aft out of whatever he's hiding in, and intercept Cosmos for himself! If he can't take care of one tiny, sawed-off Autobot runt, he doesn't deserve to call himself a Decepticon. Starscream out!"

He closed the channel. It pinged again, but he muted it. Curse Octane. It was high time that nitwit was forced to clean up his own messes. Besides, Starscream had better things to do. He had less than four hours in which to explore the base and learn its secrets—Skyfire's secrets—and he knew just where to start. He headed for the doors, but stopped at a sound from behind. This time, it was a voice. Or what sounded like one. 

_Staaar… screeeam_ , it whispered, its tone like torn silk. 

Starscream spun, weapons raised. "Who's there?"

There was no reply—and, he noticed, no echo. Just more of that silence. That listening, watching, _waiting_ silence. He cast his gaze around the chamber. There was no one else here, and no place for anyone to hide. Whatever he'd heard hadn't been a voice. Perhaps it had been the sound of the wind, echoing from outside. In any case, it wasn't what he'd imagined. It wasn't… _her_.

"This is nonsense!" he said to no one in particular, then turned on a heel-thruster and stalked to the inner doors. They opened smartly in response to the code Skyfire had given him, admitting him to the passage that led to the main living area. If a sound that resembled a low chuckle echoed behind him, he was more than happy to chalk it up as his imagination. Octane might have time to indulge in superstition, but he, Starscream, did not. He had an investigation to conduct.

«-o-»

The sun cast its faint warmth over Skyfire's wings as he flew southwest. From this height, he could see much of Mars spread beneath him. The storm was visible, but barely; a faint smudge along the western horizon. He'd been tracking its progress via the weather station on Phobos, and it was, indeed, heading for the region where Priya wanted to run her tests. Fortunately, it was developing slowly. If the storm stayed at its current rate of development, Priya would have time to spare.

It was nice that _one_ of them did, Skyfire thought, but then reminded himself this wasn't her fault. She couldn't have known she was calling at the worst possible moment. Still, if she had delayed her call by—a breem, perhaps two—he and Starscream might be in a different place. Starscream had been about to tell him something important. He'd _wanted_ to. Now Skyfire might never find out what it was, and thanks to his promise, he couldn't ask. 

But that wasn't Priya's fault either. He was the one who'd made that promise, not her. Had he been too hasty? Had he been a coward, so afraid of driving Starscream off that he would have promised anything? He cast his mind back over the previous night's events, sifting for clues. Was it normal for a Decepticon's weapons to come online during recharge? Maybe it was. Decepticon weapons arrays appeared to be integrated directly into their owners' neural nets, which meant they were likely keyed to respond automatically to any perceived threat. 

That made sense. The ability to come out of recharge battle-ready would be an important survival trait for any warrior, and Seekers were particularly known for their hair-trigger reflexes. As highly specialized fliers, Seekers needed the ability to process and respond to thousands of data-points per nano-klik in order to execute the stunning aerial feats they were known for. On the ground, this also made them famously jumpy—or, as some were fond of saying, 'flighty.'

Skyfire had learned, early on, the inadvisability of sneaking up on Starscream. He'd quickly developed a habit of clearing his vocalizer when approaching from behind, particularly if Starscream appeared lost in his work. This had become less of an issue after they'd bonded, but by then the habit was ingrained. Jumpy or not, though, Skyfire had never seen Starscream respond with such automatic violence as he had the previous night. 

How much of Starscream's reaction to the drone been a natural extension of his volatile nature, and how much was due to deca-vorns of relentless fighting? More importantly, at what stage did such distinctions become meaningless? Skyfire recalled how easily, how _unhesitatingly_ he'd blasted that Seeker on Cybertron. He'd clipped the starboard wing, forcing the flier down. A non-lethal shot, yes, but it was what he hadn't been able to bring himself to do just a few orns previously, against Starscream. 

He could still feel the fierce, hard pleasure that had surged through him then, planting the first seeds of doubt in his mind. What was he becoming—and so quickly, too? If the war had sunk its roots that deeply in a mere handful of orns, making violence seem not only possible but actually pleasurable, what would he have become in a vorn? Or ten vorns? Or fifty? 

It wasn't a subject he enjoyed thinking about, but for Starscream's sake, he had to. The one thing he couldn't forget, though, was Starscream's expression when he'd seen the burned-out drone. He'd tried to cover his reaction with feigned indignation, but Skyfire knew what he'd seen—just as surely as he'd known which word Starscream had omitted from their later conversation. 

_Monster._

Was that what Starscream thought he'd become? And what, or who, had he really been shooting at? An icy feeling lodged in Skyfire's spark as he acknowledged that on some level, he already knew. But if Starscream believed himself to be a monster and hated what he'd become _that_ much, wasn't that cause for hope? Didn't it imply that his real self, the Starscream of Skyfire's memories, was still alive in there somewhere? 

Skyfire's comm pinged. He opened the channel, grateful to be distracted from his thoughts. "Priya?"

::Who did you expect, the Queen? Yeah it's me. I'm just calling to get your ETA.:: She paused. ::You _are_ on your way, right?::

"Yes," Skyfire replied, stifling an irrational surge of annoyance. This wasn't her fault. It really wasn't. "I should be there in a breem and a half," he said.

::Twelve minutes? Coolio. Cerbie and I will be waiting on the landing platform.::

"Not Garry?" Skyfire asked, surprised that Priya hadn't mentioned her husband-to-be. As a physician, Garrison Walsh knew next to nothing about Priya's work as a robotics engineer, but he accompanied her on her expeditions just the same.

There was a crackle of interference, and a pause. ::Oh… he couldn't make it," Priya said at last. ::Some kind of work thing. But we'll see you in a jiff, 'kay?::

The channel closed before Skyfire had a chance to ask what a 'jiff' was. Was it his imagination, or had there been a hint of strain in her voice?

«-o-»

Starscream shouldn't have been surprised to find the galley cupboard locked. He should have been even less surprised when, after wasting a breem breaking the locking code, he'd found the it empty. By the time his subsequent search of the galley had turned up nothing—well, apart from normal galley stuff—he was beyond being surprised. He was hungry. And annoyed.

It wasn't that Skyfire was hiding things from him. He'd already known _that_ much. What really got to him was that the headache cure Skyfire had offered him the previous night was now sitting atop the chill unit, in plain view. _How considerate_ , Starscream thought sourly as he munched on a cuprite from Skyfire's stash of crystals. Considerate so long as one ignored that Skyfire was the _cause_ of Starscream's current headache.

When had he done all this? Had he gotten up the previous night and roamed the base, hiding things away? Starscream wouldn't put it past him. Fragging Skyfire. Whatever those mysterious medical bottles contained, they were obviously far more than mere 'supplements.' Starscream had half a mind to hunt Ratchet down and wring the truth out of him, though of course that would necessitate killing him, and… depending on what those bottles _did_ contain, Skyfire might need him alive.

"Fragging… _frag_." Starscream bit into another crystal, taking savage pleasure in the loud 'crack' it made as it shattered between his dentae. A quick leap carried him up into Skyfire's lab. Not that he expected to find much. Sure enough, the security tube, into which Skyfire had hastily tucked his drawings the previous night, was gone. Starscream had no doubt that it was riding in Skyfire's subspace right next to the medical bottles. 

Skyfire had done an excellent job of covering his tracks. But surely even he couldn't hide _all_ his secrets. There had to be some clue he'd forgotten. Starscream strode to the loft railing and stood with his back to it, fists on his hips. He could see the whole lab from here, and he cast his gaze over it slowly, trying to see it with fresh optics.

In typical Skyfire form, the lab appeared to be in the midst of a major reorganization. Skyfire's labs were _always_ in a state of being reorganized. There was a constant, barely-controlled avalanche of random items which Skyfire was perpetually trying to categorize, or at least corral. The clutter seemed to help him think. 

So did cooking, oddly enough, which was why Starscream hadn't been surprised to find several items of lab glassware during his search of the galley. He couldn't count the number of times he'd mistaken one of Skyfire's scientific experiments for one of his culinary ones, which was one of the reasons why takeout meals had become a staple for them. Boxes marked with the insig of some local eatery were—usually—safe to eat from. Usually.

Skyfire's current mess was a jumble of familiar, as well as unfamiliar items. The latter category consisted in equal parts of things that had probably been here when Skyfire had arrived, items he'd most likely borrowed from the Autobots, and things that Starscream had possibly just forgotten about. There was no pattern that Starscream could discern, though he did notice a few bits of charred metal on the floor.

He picked one up for closer inspection. It was scorched and melted on only one side, as if it had been subjected to an explosion. There were no other signs of an explosion, however. No scorch marks on the ceiling or walls, no telltale scent in the air. It was interesting that Skyfire's sweeper drones hadn't picked up the metallic debris, but then again they were ancient, and Autobot technology. Inefficiency was to be expected. 

As Starscream glanced around, his gaze was drawn to the marks he'd left on the floor during the previous night's rough landing. The scratches went straight to the back of the lab where the tarp-shrouded sweeper sat in its semi-final resting place atop one of Skyfire's work-tables…

The _table_. 

Even from here, he could see the smear of red on the table's base. It was the same red as his intakes. He stumbled toward it and yanked the tarp away, but there was nothing underneath except the charred carcass of he drone he'd destroyed. No gravitic stabilizer. He spun, glancing around the lab, but it was nowhere to be seen. A wave of dizziness swamped him. He sagged against the table and swore.

«-o-»

Arsia Mons, an extinct volcano in Mars' Tharsis region, served as host for humanity's first off-world colony. Its broad slopes were riddled with lava tubes which had protected the humans from cosmic radiation during the early phases of settlement. Now, the tubes were mainly used to store equipment while the humans had retreated into their permanent base inside the mountain. Little was visible from the air, though as Skyfire flew closer he spotted the landing area which the humans had built for their transport shuttles. Priya was just outside the hangar doors. She waved as Skyfire swooped in for his final approach.

::Took you long enough.::

"Sorry I kept you waiting," Skyfire said as he settled. "I had to secure a few things before I could leave." 

::Of course you did,:: Priya said, strolling toward him. She was clad in an exosuit, its shoulder patch bearing a scarlet maple leaf to indicate her Canadian nationality. The settlement now included scientists from eighteen different Earth nations, with more on the way. ::Something to do with your mysterious research, I presume?:: 

"You could say that," Skyfire replied, fighting a wave of guilt. He hated lying, but what choice did he have? He was grateful he hadn't transformed, so at least she couldn't see his expression. "But speaking of research," he added quickly, "how is Cerberus?"

It was a somewhat silly question. He could see the drone trundling along behind her perfectly well, and he'd reviewed its specs at several stages of this latest incarnation of her project. His distraction ploy worked, though, and Priya's expression softened as she glanced at her creation.

::He's acting like a kid on his first day of school,:: she said with a laugh. ::I could swear he's picking up on _my_ being nervous. Sometimes it really seems like he's developing a personality.:: The squat, tank-like drone was indeed fidgeting on its rollers, much like a nervous puppy. ::I checked all his systems last night , though, and he's in tip-top shape, ready to go. Or as ready as he's going to be.::

"Well, climb aboard then," Skyfire invited, extending his ramp.

Priya strode toward him, then paused, one boot on the ramp. ::What do you think, 'Fire? Is he really ready, or is this a mistake?:: 

"A mistake?" Skyfire echoed. He wasn't used to anything other than brash confidence from his friend, and her doubtful tone unsettled him. In fact, now that the sun wasn't reflecting off the mask of her exosuit, he noticed how tired she looked. "Based on the specs you showed me," he said, "I'd say Cerberus is more than ready."

Priya bit her lip. ::I know. It's not the specs, it's…:: She stopped herself. ::Nope, I'm being silly. I've been living on caffeine pills for too long.::

"That doesn't sound like a balanced diet for a human," Skyfire remarked, observing her gait closely as she ascended the ramp.

Priya glanced up. ::Don't even start,:: she said, her gaze fixed unerringly on one of his internal optic monitors. ::I've heard more than enough about my so-called 'lifestyle' lately, and anyway, you're right. Cerbie's specs _are_ solid. Let's get this show on the road.::

She strode into his hold, steps firm, and began securing Cerberus into a transport cradle. Skyfire closed his hatch and began adjusting his internal temperature and atmosphere mix to support human life. "Priya," he said carefully, "if you're having misgivings—"

::No, it's fine,:: she said, running a gloved hand over Cerberus' armored back. The drone responded with a soft chirp, as if it was soothed by its creator's touch. ::I've been up all night, that's all. Anyway, I'd hate to have to wait 'til after storm season to run these tests.::

"I know what you mean," Skyfire acknowledged, still watching her. There was something off about her demeanor, but he couldn't place it. Was it just tiredness? He wished he was better at reading human facial expressions. "Priya," he said finally.

She glanced up. "Yeah?"

"I—" he broke off as a crackle of static came over his comm. The secure channel opened, and Starscream's voice boomed through the hold.

::Where is it?::

"Where's what?" Skyfire replied, hastily switching the conversation to private mode. 

::You know perfectly well!::

"No. I'm afraid I—"

::Who is that?:: Priya asked. 

"Oh, it's… Prowl," Skyfire replied, giving her the first name that came to mind.

She frowned. ::His voice sounds very strange. Do Cybertronians get colds?::

"It must be signal distortion," Skyfire told her. "Subspace interference or… hang on, I'll just find out what he wants." He switched conversations. "Starscream, I'm afraid you'll have to be more specif—"

::The gravitic stabilizer, you thundering dolt!::

"Gravitic stabilizer?" Of all the items on Skyfire's mental list of things of things Starscream might be looking for, the gravitic stabilizer didn't even figure. "What do you need that for?" 

::Never mind what I need it for! Where are you hiding it?::

"I'm not," Skyfire protested. "I just put it awa—"

::Fine! Where are you _not_ hiding it?::

"I borrowed it from a friend," Skyfire said. He could hear thumps and clangs in the background, as if Starscream was ransacking cupboards. "It's not mine, so you'll have to be careful with it."

::Oh, I'll be at least as careful as you were. Is your 'friend' aware that you slashed the leads?::

"That… yes. I need to fix that," Skyfire admitted. "Can't this wait until I get back? I'm kind of busy right…" he trailed off, noticing that Priya had finished securing Cerberus and was heading for his cockpit. Once inside, she'd be able to hear his side of the conversation. "There's a storage compartment to the left of the main console," he told Starscream. "It's on the third shelf, in a crate marked silicon tubing."

::Why _thank_ you! Was that so difficult?::

The line cut just as Priya ducked into his cockpit. "So what did Growl want?" she asked, pulling off her helmet.

"Growl?"

"Oh, that's what Jazz calls him," Priya said with a laugh. "Not secretly, either," she added as she slid into his control seat and began fastening the safety harness. "If I didn't know better, I'd say those two are a couple."

"They are," Skyfire replied. "They're bonded."

Priya's eyebrows rose. "Really? Is that like… married?"

"It's a similar concept."

"Jazz is a… girl, then?" Her cheeks reddened. "Or I suppose Prowl might be the girl. Sorry; I probably sound like an idiot."

"Not at all," Skyfire assured her. "Our concept of gender isn't tied to anatomy or reproduction the way yours is. Both Jazz and Prowl fall within the spectrum that you'd call masculine."

"So they're, um… _gay_?"

Skyfire searched his vocabulary files. "No," he said after accessing a full definition. "We don't have gender-based sexual orientation in quite the same way your species does. Our closest equivalent would be frame preference."

"Frame preference?" Priya leaned forward in her seat, dark eyes lighting with curiosity. "How does that work?"

Skyfire began explaining it as they took off. Priya, sounding more like her usual animated self, peppered him with questions which he duly answered, though his mind kept circling back to his conversation with Starscream. On one hand, he was relieved. Starscream was still on Mars—still at the outpost, in fact, and apparently making himself at home in Skyfire's lab. On the other, what could he possibly want with a gravitic stabilizer—and so urgently, too? 

Starscream had been acting strangely since he'd arrived. His destruction of the drone the most spectacular example, but there had been other tells, like his sudden retreat from the washracks under the pretense of being hungry, and the loud, mysterious crash Skyfire had heard from his lab. Starscream had been up there looking for something, and Skyfire was willing to bet that a headache cure wasn't it. 

What was _really_ going on with him?

«-o-»

Starscream braced himself and flipped the switch. Blue flame erupted from the severed leads and he gritted his dentae, forcing himself to hold still as energy tore into his unprotected circuits. When the sought-after sense of calm finally set in, he sagged against the table in relief. Was it his imagination, or had the effects taken longer to kick in this time?

Never mind, he told himself as he switched off the gravitic stabilizer. He was feeling much better. The room had stopped spinning, and odds were good that he could get to the rendezvous point and conduct a few aerial drills without embarrassing himself. For good measure, he reached back to check the patch on his neck. It slid under his touch. 

Starscream frowned. He peeled it off for examination and saw that the once-flexible material had stiffened, cracking at the edges. When he turned the patch over, he saw that the inner surface was covered in a grayish powder. He sniffed it. The dull, familiar scent as one he recognized, having smelled on far too many battlefields. The nanites that were supposed to have been repairing his neck had died.

"Must be defective," he muttered, stalking over to the cupboard where he'd found Skyfire's medkit the night before. Fortunately, that was still there. He opened it, pulled out a fresh patch and examined the expiry tab. It was recent. Autobot issue, in fact. Skyfire, being a sensible explorer, had obviously replaced the contents of his medkit before leaving Earth. 

Of course, the patch might still be defective. Anything made by Autobots was likely to be of poor quality, or simply engineered for grounder bio-systems and thus incompatible with his. Even likelier was the possibility that the Autobot nanites were just weak, like the Autobots themselves. 

Beggars couldn't be choosers, though. He slapped the fresh patch on his neck and carried the old one to the nearest trash receptacle. Another wave of dizziness struck and he paused mid-stride, waiting it out. This was to be expected, he told himself. The gravitic stabilizer hadn't taken full effect, and the fresh nanites hadn't had a chance to get to work yet. By the time he needed to go, he'd be fine.

As he started forward again, an object on the floor caught his gaze. It was a blackened metallic lump, lying next to the trash receptacle as if Skyfire had meant to throw it away. With those two wires coming off of it, it looked strangely… familiar.

Dizziness forgotten, Starscream knelt and picked it up. It was a fragment from a device of some kind, one that had apparently exploded. The inner surface was blackened, and the outer one carried telltale scorch marks and a streak of dark, acrid-smelling residue. What really drew his attention, however, was the two leads. Their terminus points were melted right into the ports they'd been plugged into, and the cords had been cut cleanly, as if by a laser scalpel. He carried the fragment back to the table and held the severed leads to their counterparts on the gravitic stabilizer. They matched.

"Ha."

Working carefully, he transferred some of the sticky residue onto a slide for chemical analysis. Skyfire's secrets were about to be revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who's wondering, Skyfire blasted a Seeker during the three-part episode, _The Ultimate Doom_. You have to wonder how he felt about it after the fact. :-/
> 
> Apologies once again for the slowness of this update. I hit a wall last summer, creatively speaking, and took a few weeks off. During that time I started a comprehensive re-watch of the show and am putting together a series timeline. This was unexpectedly fun, and I came away with some wonderful (and, in some cases, disturbing) screen-caps, as well as fresh insights about episodes I'd thought I was well familiar with - particularly _Fire in the Sky_. Every time I watch it I notice some new detail; it's amazing! If you're curious, I posted some of my findings on my [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/grayseeker), as well as on [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/grayseeker/).
> 
> In any case, thanks for your patience! Chapter 7 is mostly written, and should be up sometime in early December (after Nano, in other words). In the meantime, if you're looking for more Starscream/Skyfire goodness, allow me to recommend the remarkable [Switch](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6106156) by my good buddy Dark Star of Chaos. Just go ahead and click the link; you can thank me later. ;-)


	7. Conditions for Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Skyfire accompanies Priya on her Martian mission, their conversation brings up memories of his past with Starscream - and of the one thing they could never have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said this chapter would be up in early December, and it looks to be more like mid-December. But hey! I think it turned out well, in no small part due to the help of my intrepid beta reader, [Biting_Moopie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/biting_moopie/pseuds/biting_moopie). Thanks to her, I feel I was able to hit the right note with an emotionally delicate subject. As always, the Cybertronian time units mentioned in the chapter are defined in [A Brief Essay on Cybertronian Time-keeping and Conversions](http://archiveofourown.org/works/755845). by Akzeal.

_"I have excellent news," the medic announces._

_"You do?" Skyfire sits straighter, and Starscream feels his hand tighten around his._

_The medic gives their joined hands a disdainful glance. "Indeed." He slides two documents across the exam table, pushing them with one finger as if to avoid contamination. "You have medical clearance to depart on your voyage."_

_Skyfire's expression drops. "But… what about…?"_

_"A false carrying. Nothing to be concerned about; the discomfort will go away on its own."_

_"But he's got the symptoms!" Starscream argues. "He's hungry all the time, he's got metal and mineral imbalances, fuel diversion to the gestational—"_

_"Hence the term_ false _carrying," the medic interrupts. "The test results are conclusive. Your… companion was never sparked. In future, you may wish to avoid excessively deep spark-merges to prevent re-occurrence. Good day."_

_He turns to go, and Starscream explodes to his feet._

_"Let me see that!" He makes a grab for the medic's datapad, but the medic evades him, wings rising in warning._

_"Who's the physician here?"_

_"I'm starting to wonder!" Starscream growls._

_"I'm sorry if this comes as distressing news," the medic sniffs, "but if having sparklings had been a priority, I assume you would have bonded differently._

_"Why, you—!" Starscream lunges at him, but Skyfire catches his arm._

_"Thank you, doctor. We appreciate your time." To Starscream, through their bond, he adds,_ Let's go.

_It's an order. Starscream doesn't argue, though he shoots the medic a venomous look as Skyfire guides him out onto the walkway. They get barely two steps before a small, red-and-silver shape crashes into Skyfire's legs. It bounces off and lands on the pavement, where it remains still long enough for Starscream to see that it's a Seeker youngling. The little one stares at them, his small chest heaving, and Skyfire gazes back with a stunned expression._

_In a flash, Starscream can see it: the dark faceplate, the red stripes beginning to form on the stubby wings, and even patches of blue on the little arms and legs. Starscream thinks,_ He could almost be ours.

_Then the youngling howls. The spell is broken and Skyfire kneels, reaching to help him up. "Sorry, little one," he says. "Are you damaged?"_

_An adult Seeker hurries up and scoops the little one into her arms. "What happened?" she demands, giving Starscream and Skyfire a suspicious look. To the little one, she murmurs, "You're all right, sweetspark." With a final glare of warning she takes off to rejoin her trine and the young one's two siblings._

_Skyfire stares after them; Starscream takes his arm. "Come on, love."_

_The crystal gardens provide a peaceful refuge. Other trines are there, some with younglings, and Skyfire watches distantly as they chase one another through the waterfalls, laughing and squealing._

_"It's strange," he says after a while, his hand rising to his spark chamber. "I never imagined having sparklings was a possibility for us, but now I miss it." He glances at Starscream. "What about you? You lost your trine over me."_

_Starscream's spark lurches. "If you're asking if I have regrets," he says, shifting closer to Skyfire's side, "those fools were never my trine in the first place."_

_It was true that Icespar and Tailwind had distanced themselves in anger over Starscream's 'selfish' decision to bond outside the trine—and with another frametype, to boot—thus denying all three of them the chance to have sparklings. Or so they said. Starscream thought they were being a touch dramatic, considering surrogacy was so much more acceptable these days._

_"How about you?" Starscream asks hesitantly. "Do you regret us?"_

_Skyfire's arms slip around him, an action that earns them a triple scowl from a passing elder trine. Starscream scowls right back, baring his fangs. As the trio glances away in unison and hurries off, Starscream feels a tendril of amusement curl through the bond._

Never, _Skyfire's voice echoes from the depths of his spark._ I could never regret us. _Aloud, he adds, "It's just… for a while there, I thought we'd managed the impossible."_

 _Starscream climbs into his lap. "We can't have_ all _the impossibilities," he says, resting his cheek against Skyfire's spark chamber._

_"No," Skyfire admits. "I suppose it wouldn't be fair to everyone else."_

_Starscream snorts. "Forget_ fair _. I'm talking probabilities."_

 _"Meaning it's wildly_ improbable _that we'd have all the impossibilities?"_

_"Precisely."_

_Skyfire laughs._

_They remain like that until the sky darkens. The stars appear, shining down impossibly bright._ You, me and the stars, _Starscream sends. He gets a pulse of understanding by way of response, and knows that's all they'll ever need._

«-o-« {∞} »-o-»

::Look!:: Priya sprang to her feet. ::He's got the scent!::

She was pointing to the canyon floor where Cerberus, now visible only as a gray speck, navigated the gloomy depths. He had indeed stopped his seemingly aimless circling and was moving slowly, but surely, toward the docking station that Priya and Skyfire had just finished setting up. 

::He's like a little bloodhound,:: Priya added, her voice brimming with pride, and Skyfire was pleased to see that the tired expression she'd worn when he'd picked her up at Arsia Mons had vanished almost completely. ::That's why I named him Cerberus," she went on. "In Greek mythology, Cerberus is the name of the three-headed dog who guards the realm of the dead.::

"That seems appropriate," Skyfire said, nodding to the vertical rock walls towering above them. They were perched on a ledge overlooking Noctis Labyrinthus—the labyrinth of the night—a system of deep, maze-like canyons situated at the western end of Valles Marineris. Even with the sun now high in the sky, it was a shadowy world down here, not at all unlike the ancient Greeks' notions of the underworld. 

::Yep,:: Priya said with a laugh. ::We're about as close to Hades as you can get without actually dying. But hey; know what this area's also called?::

Skyfire shook his helm.

::The Phoenicis Lacus quadrangle. It's named after the phoenix, the mythical bird that rises from its own ashes.::

"That sounds… hopeful," Skyfire said, thinking of the flaming bird carved on outpost's outer doors. Obviously there was no connection, considering the outpost was older than humanity itself, but it was still interesting. 

::Not to be superstitious, but I have to think it's a good sign,:: Priya agreed. ::After all, Cerbie's going to be crucial in helping us find the resources we'll need for humanity's long-term human survival on Mars—oh look, there he goes!::

Cerberus was rounding the last turn separating him—it—from its docking station, which Priya had set up inside a natural alcove. This would serve as a wind-break, protecting against inclement weather, though it also made the final stage of Cerberus' journey particularly challenging, since the drone would have to decode a complex system of echoes created by the docking station's signal bouncing off the canyon walls. 

Priya had explained all this while they were setting up. Privately, Skyfire had wondered if this final test of the drone's navigational system was a tad too ambitious, but Cerberus tracked flawlessly. It rolled up the docking station's short ramp and linked in. An icon resembling chain links appeared on Priya's handheld monitor, and Cerberus' indicator lights pulsed green as it began to absorb energy. 

::Come on, come on,:: Priya muttered, fidgeting.

"Is something wrong?" Skyfire asked.

Priya huffed, her breath misting the inner surface of her mask. ::Ah, scrap. The force-dome didn't activate. Let's go take a look.::

Skyfire had to smile at her use of the expression. Her speech had become increasingly peppered with Cybertronianisms lately, a habit which he found charming. He extended a hand to her. She hopped onto his palm and they descended to the canyon floor. Priya, seemingly unconcerned for her own safety, leaped from his hand the moment his pedes touched the dusty soil and dashed to the docking station. 

She glanced at the internal controls. ::This all looks normal,:: she said.

"Maybe the problem is with the docking station itself," Skyfire suggested.

::Must be.:: Priya examined the docking station's console, then groaned. ::Oh, hell. Of course it's the component I _didn't_ check five thousand times.:: She opened a panel on the arm of her exosuit, revealing a tool compartment, and selected a soldering pen. ::All it needs is a quick touch-up,:: she said, setting to work. There was a flash, a puff of steam, and then a loud hum. A force-shield shimmered into existence, covering both Cerberus and the docking station.

Priya rocked back on her heels. ::There,:: she said, tucking the soldering pen back into its cradle. ::When Cerbie links in, the the docking station is supposed to activate the force-shield, then ping the comm station on Phobos to let us know he arrived. One cracked relay, though, and the whole system falls apart.::

"I hope the weld holds," Skyfire cautioned. "Metal crystallization can happen too quickly in these temperatures, leaving the mend brittle."

::True. Let's do a couple more run-throughs to make sure the docking procedure's running smoothly.::

"Sure, we have time," Skyfire agreed, consulting his internal chrono. They'd been here for just under twenty minutes, which meant they were right on schedule. He had sixteen breems—a little over two hours—before he was slated to meet Starscream.

::What?:: Priya smirked. ::You got a date or something?::

"No," Skyfire said, giving her a startled look. "I just have an experiment underway."

It wasn't a lie. He did have a number of scientific projects on the go, but he felt a twinge of guilt when Priya nodded. 

::Ah yes, your super-mysterious research. I don't suppose you'll ever tell me what you're working on up there in your ice cave?::

Skyfire fumbled for an answer, but then realized that Priya didn't expect one. Her attention was back on her task. She switched off the force-dome, then reached into a pocket of her exosuit and drew out a metal box about the size of her hand. 

::Could you stick this up there?:: she asked, pointing to a spot high on the canyon wall.

"Certainly." Skyfire attached the object, which magnetized to the iron-rich rock as firmly as if it were glued in place. "Is it a laser-flare?"

By way of a response, Priya clicked a panel on her handheld monitor. A thick beam of blue-white light spat from the box, piercing the canyon's gloom and disappearing against the tawny sky. ::Sure is,:: she replied, ::and if you ask nicely, I _might_ even tell you what it's for.::

"I'm assuming it's to make the docking station easier to locate in case of bad weather."

::That too, but this is really for Bart.::

"For Bart?" 

::Yeah,:: Priya said. She was referring to Bartholomew P. Evans, the late founder of the Solomon Foundation for Interplanetary Travel and Exploration (SITE), the private space agency which had established the colony on Mars. ::He was the first human to die on this planet,:: she went on. ::If his spirit is anywhere, I can't help imagining it'd be here in Noctis. You know?:: 

She gestured, indicating canyon's Stygian depths. Skyfire nodded.

"If I believed in spirits, I would imagine that too."

::I guess it's silly,:: she said with a shrug, ::but I wanted to do this as a tribute to him. Bart and I didn't always get along, but I know the Cerberus project was important to him. He believed humanity's long-term survival depends on our ability to survive on other worlds, and these exploration drones are going to be vital. So…:: she clicked a few controls on her handheld monitor. The beam of light disappeared and was replaced by a blue, blinking light on the side of the laser-flare. ::There. Soon as Cerbie links in, Bart gets a light-show.::

"That's not silly," Skyfire said quietly. "Bart would love that. I'm sure he would."

Priya smiled. ::Figured you'd understand.:: She patted Cerberus, then strolled down the ramp with the drone following at her heels, its indicator lights blinking a happy shade of orange. She halted a dozen or so meters from the docking station and clapped her hands. ::All right, Cerberus! Go find the docking station!::

«-o-»

::So what about kids?:: Priya asked some time later, stamping on what appeared to be solid ground. Her boot went straight through, and she winced at the loud crunch.

"Kids?" Skyfire echoed, watching with concern as she yanked her foot free.

::Yeah,:: she said, shaking crystals of ice from her feet. ::Remember how we were talking about Cybertronian sex and all that? I was wondering if Cybertronians also have kids.::

Skyfire's spark lurched. "You mean… children?" It was such a simple question, and it had been long ago. Why was it still hard to answer?

Priya rolled her eyes. ::Yes, Mr. Literalist. I wasn't talking about baby goats.::

"I suppose not." It shouldn't have, but the terrible joke made him laugh. He extended his ramp as she limped back to him. He was in shuttle mode, parked at the top of a short rise. "I take it this area isn't going to work?"

Priya shook her head. ::Ground's not solid enough. Cerbie's treads would get stuck in the permafrost.::

Skyfire managed not to sigh. They were now seventy kilometers east of Noctis Labyrinthus, at the sixth of the ten possible spots which Priya had identified as potential release sites for Cerberus. So far, none of them had been as suitable as they had appeared on the topographic maps. The grades were too steep, the terrain unexpectedly rocky, or worst of all, this. The thick permafrost layer that looked like solid tundra, but was actually brittle as glass. 

::So which one's next?:: Priya asked as she slid into his control seat. She brought up her terrain map of the surrounding area, which now displayed six red X's, one for each of the spots which had proved unsuitable. Four green dots remained, indicating the ones they hadn't yet tried.

"Let's try farther east," Skyfire suggested, doing his own scan of the map. He found a spot which she hadn't identified. "The topography looks more solid than it is here," he said, adding a green dot of his own. "Cerberus should have a better chance of making headway if we release him there."

::Sure,:: Priya said. ::We're getting nowhere fast with the spots I picked out.::

Actually they were getting nowhere quite slowly, Skyfire thought, though he kept the opinion to himself. "Strap yourself in for safety," he said as he activated his anti-gravs and rose straight up.

::You're good at geography,:: Priya remarked.

"I'm an explorer," Skyfire replied. "Well I _was_. Now I'm not sure what I am."

She squeezed his arm-rest. ::You'll figure it out.::

"I hope so."

They flew in silence for a few minutes, Priya leaning over in her seat to peer through his cockpit window at the reddish-brown landscape. From this height, it was possible to get a sense of the Valles' true scale. It was no ordinary valley, but a jagged scar that looked as if it had been gouged into the planet's surface by a giant claw. It stretched to the horizon in both directions, and was so deep that many areas had developed independent micro-climates. It was for this reason that the Valles was of particular interest to the human settlers. There was always a chance one of those micro-climates might contain life. Once Cerberus was beyond the prototype stage, it and others like it would be able to analyze every square meter of the Valles at a level of detail that would be impossible for humans to achieve.

::So kids,:: Priya said at last, resuming her previous line of inquiry. ::Was that a yes or a no?::

Skyfire laughed. "Yes, many Cybertronians do have them," he said. "We call them sparklings."

::Spark _lings_?:: She frowned. ::Oh; you mean like _little_ sparks?::

"Exactly, though their sparks are the same size as an adult's. When a frame is created in the preferred way, through carrying, the frame is small. That's why we use a diminutive term."

::So they're… baby robots?::

Skyfire smiled inwardly. "Yes."

::And carrying; is that like pregnancy?::

"There are some differences, but yes. You could say it's equivalent to human pregnancy." 

::So if carrying is the _preferred_ way, does that mean there are others?::

"There are. For example, a newspark can be placed into an adult-sized frame that has been built for it. That's how Ratchet and Wheeljack created the Dinobots."

::Wow,:: Priya breathed. ::Sometimes I forget you're aliens. I mean… it turns out you're more like us than I'd ever guess, but that just underlines the differences. I mean I _build_ robots. I thought I knew exactly what a robot is, but you guys are so much… more.::

"I understand," Skyfire said, thinking back to some of his early encounters with organic lifeforms. At first, they had been as mysterious to him as he suspected Cybertronians must be to humans. "Meeting an alien species can be unsettling," he told her. He was finding the scientific talk soothing. It was a welcome shift to practicalities, keeping his mind firmly in the present rather than on past disappointments or his worries about the time. "It can change your understanding of what life is, as well as your place within it."

::Yeah, well…:: Priya paused, gazing through his cockpit window. ::I'm definitely going to be looking at you Autobots a little differently from now on.::

"And here we are," Skyfire said, as he began his descent toward the area he'd selected from the map. To his relief, it did look promising. With any luck, they'd be able to get Cerberus off to a smooth launch, and then he'd be back on schedule to meet Starscream.

«-o-»

::Are you almost done?:: Skyfire asked, trying not to sound impatient.

Priya grunted. The upper half of her body was hidden beneath Cerberus' chassis, so only her boots were visible. ::Yeah, nearly,:: she said. ::I found the loose connector.::

"Anything I can do to help?" Skyfire asked, not for the first time. He was kneeling on the Valles floor, gently holding Cerberus steady while Priya repaired a tread that had popped loose five minutes after they'd released the drone. 

::Nope,:: came Priya's reply. ::A couple replacement bolts, some fresh wiring, and we should be good.::

"Thank Primus." 

Maybe his tone was too emphatic, because Priya slid from beneath Cerberus and gave him a wry look. ::Man,:: she said. ::You really do have ants in your crank-case today, don't ya?:: She pointed to one of her tools. ::Hand me that welder, would you?::

Skyfire nudged it toward her with the tip of a finger. She grabbed it and disappeared again. There was a flash of blue light as she began welding, and Skyfire sighed. Overall, he felt about as useful as a chocolate teapot—as Bart had been fond of saying—and he was running out of time. He would have to leave within the next breem if he wanted to be sure of reaching the rendezvous spot on time. 

::So,:: her voice reached him over the comm, ::did _you_ ever have any? Sparklings, I mean.::

"No," Skyfire replied, thrown by the abrupt change of topic. He'd really hoped she wouldn't revisit the subject. "What makes you ask?"

::I dunno, just wondering. Did you want to?::

"Of course, but…" he paused. "It wasn't an option."

::Why? Did you not meet the right person? Assuming you _need_ someone else, of course.::

"Most frametypes require the merging of two or more sparks in order to generate a newspark, yes."

::Two or more?:: she echoed. ::Wow. I thought _our_ sex lives were complicated.:: 

Skyfire chuckled. "You get used to it. How's Cerberus doing?"

::I notice you're not answering the question,:: Priya said, a smirk in her voice. ::As for Cerbie, though…:: She re-emerged, welder in hand, and flipped open the drone's top panel. ::I just need to make sure the coding for the new part is integrating. Then we can—uh-oh.::

Skyfire's spark sank. "Uh-oh?"

::Phobos isn't responding.::

Skyfire glanced at Phobos, one of Mars' potato-shaped moons, which was rising in the west. It was home to a massive comm station, through which all communications between Earth and Mars were routed. That included Cerberus' communications with the docking station as well as the outpost at Arsia Mons. 

"You're not getting _anything_?" he asked.

::Nope.::

"Let me try." Skyfire sent a ping to Phobos. The response came back within kliks. "It's sluggish, but working," he told her. "Did you check Cerberus' authentication code?"

Priya duly typed a series of digits into Cerberus' input keypad, then groaned. ::Oh frag.::

"Is there an issue?"

::I might have dropped a decimal place. And if you so much as _think_ of mentioning my caffeine habit,:: she added, giving him a dark look, ::you are in big trouble.::

"I wouldn't dream of it," Skyfire promised solemnly.

Priya rolled her eyes. She finished re-entering the code, and when Cerberus' comm panel lit up she closed the top panel and gave her creation's chassis a light slap. ::Go, Cerbie! Find the docking station!::

The drone beeped happily and took off, trundling west. Priya watched until it disappeared, then sighed. ::Well.:: Her shoulders slumped. ::I guess that's that.:: 

"He'll be fine," Skyfire assured her.

::I dunno. All these problems are making me wonder what else I've forgotten.::

"It's normal for issues to crop up at the last minute, but Cerberus is sturdily built, and his new nav coding is robust. He should have no difficulty finding his way back. He might even arrive early."

::Wouldn't that be something?:: Priya gave a wan smile, and Skyfire saw that the tired expression he'd noticed earlier that day was back. ::You're a smooth talker,:: she said. ::But thanks.::

"Any time." Skyfire straightened. "Shall we head back?"

Priya shook her head. She was staring at Phobos, her dark brows puckered in a frown. ::I don't know; maybe we should go up there.::

"To Phobos?"

::You said the response was sluggish. We should probably make sure there's nothing wrong from that end of things… don't you think?::

"The slow response is probably due to the recent solar activity," Skyfire told her, though he sent another ping to be certain. This time, the response was immediate. "It's fine now."

::I'd still feel better if we checked. With the storm coming, it seems smart to make sure everything's working nominally.::

"Maybe we could go tomorrow," Skyfire suggested.

::Or now,:: she countered. ::What's wrong with now?:: 

"There isn't time."

::Does this have something to do with your mysterious research?:: Priya asked, her eyes narrowing. ::Oh!:: Her expression cleared. ::We can do both. Let's stop at your place so you can check on your project, and then we can head to Phobos. Added bonus: I finally get to see your ice-cave.::

"I'm afraid… that won't work," Skyfire said, shaking his helm.

::Aw, c'mon! I promise not to look at whatever you're working on.::

"Priya—I can't. I'm sorry. We need to go."

Priya's back straightened, her chin rising in defiance. ::What's up with you? First you forgot about our plans, then you showed up late, and this whole time you've been acting like there's somewhere else you'd rather be. What are you hiding? And what kind of experiment could be so slagging urgent?::

Skyfire gaped. For someone so tiny, Priya's temper was… damn. Had Starscream meant what he'd said about leaving if Skyfire was late? Skyfire desperately did not want to find out, and yet he had no good answer. Priya's desire to make sure things were working on Phobos made perfect sense. It was what _he_ would do, in her position. But— 

His comm beeped. 

"I'm sorry, Priya, I need to take this."

She scowled. ::Of course.::

Skyfire took a few steps away. He could feel her gaze burning into his back as he opened the comm channel in private mode. "Skyfire here," he said in a low voice. "I'm on my way, I just need—"

::On your way where?:: a crisp voice cut in. 

It was Prowl. 

Skyfire balked. "Ah… hello," he said, silently thanking the Allspark he hadn't mentioned Starscream by name. "I was expecting… one of the humans."

::That's understandable. I trust you're well?::

"Quite well," Skyfire said, recovering. "What can I do for you?"

::Have you heard of a gambling asteroid called Monacus?::

"Of course. It's very well known—or," Skyfire added, catching himself, "it _was_ well known back in my days as an explorer, though 'infamous' might be a better—"

::Good, good. Are you anywhere near it now? I can't get a marker for your position.::

And there was a reason for that. Since leaving Earth, Skyfire had taken to scrambling the location data on his personal comm to mask his whereabouts. "There must be signal distortion," he said. "As for my whereabouts, let's say it would take a while to get there from where I am."

::How long is a while?::

Skyfire did a mental calculation. Deciding '6.7 vorns' wasn't an answer he wanted to give, nor one that the Autobot Second likely wanted to hear, he asked instead, "What's the situation? I have contacts in the Monacus sector, mostly traders. If any of them are still active, I could—"

::Thanks, but the nature of the situation is on a need-to-know basis.:: Prowl paused. ::Is there a problem, Skyfire?::

"No," Skyfire said, perhaps too hastily. "No problem. Just that one of my contacts could probably reach Monacus faster than I could."

There was a long, crackling silence while Prowl seemed to think it over. ::I'll take your offer into consideration,:: he said at last. ::Be on standby, in case we need help. Prowl out.::

The line went dead, and Skyfire vented a sigh. Lying was becoming a way of life for him, and he didn't like it. If only his experiments with the gravitic stabilizer had worked the way he'd hoped, the distance to Monacus wouldn't have been such a problem for him, but— 

::Who was that?:: Priya asked.

"Prowl," Skyfire said, turning.

::Again?:: She frowned. ::He seems to be calling a lot.:: 

"I suppose so," Skyfire replied. "Priya, we need to head back. I'm—"

::I'm sorry,:: she blurted. ::I shouldn't have yelled. You didn't deserve that. The truth is, I… don't _want_ to go back.:: 

There was an odd, choked sound to her voice, and she was standing with her arms clamped tightly around herself as if she was cold. Skyfire might not be an expert where it came to reading human facial expressions, but even he couldn't miss such clear signs of distress. 

He took a step closer. "Why, what's wrong?" he asked.

::Garry and I had a fight last night. I asked him if he thinks he'd ever want to have kids. Hypothetically, I mean. And…:: Her shoulders rose defensively, then fell. ::He effectively said… not with me.::

"Not… with you?" Skyfire thought through what he knew about human mating customs. "Isn't it true that when bonded human pairs reproduce, they do so with one another?"

::He wasn't proposing a three-way, if that's what you mean!:: Priya gave a short laugh, then kicked at the ground, sending up a puff of orange dust. ::Well, I hope not. His _exact_ words were that we could talk about having kids once we get back to Earth, and—:: she dropped her gaze, ::once I quit spending all my time with _machines_.::

"But… spending time with machines is… who you are," Skyfire said. 

::Right?:: Priya sank down on a boulder. ::I felt like I was suddenly dealing with one of those jerks from uni; the ones who think girls can't be engineers. I might have called him a sexist. Maybe it wasn't fair, but I was mad. I mean, we've talked about this stuff. He knows I'm never going to be like _his_ mom. I'm never going to live in the suburbs or bake apple pie or have a dog, unless it's a robot-dog. That isn't me, and he knows it. I thought he knew _me_. He said…::

She bit her lip.

Skyfire sat down, placing his hand on the boulder behind her in a gesture he hoped would be comforting. A check of his chrono told his his time-window was closing. Even flying at full speed, there was no guarantee of making his rendezvous on time, but Priya was his friend and clearly needed him. He'd just have to hope Starscream would be lenient about time.

"What did he say?" he prompted gently.

::He said…:: Priya gulped. ::He doesn't see me as motherhood material.::

Skyfire's hand moved instinctively to cover his spark. "That's… an unkind thing to say."

::The worst part is, he wasn't even trying to be mean. I think he meant it to be funny, but…:: Her hand went to her belly, as if protecting something. ::Damn it, 'Fire, what if he's _right_?::

"Oh," Skyfire said, realization sinking in. "You're… carrying?" No wonder she'd been asking so many questions about Cybertronian reproduction.

::Think so,:: she replied, her voice hollow. ::The test keeps coming back the same, and I don't know what to do.::

"You haven't told him?"

Priya shook her head. ::I didn't want him to feel trapped. I wanted him to give me an honest answer, and I think he did.:: Her tears spilled. She tried to wipe them away, but her gloved hand clanked against the faceplate of her exosuit. ::We're on different paths. It's no one's fault, but how am I supposed to do this alone? On _Mars_? I've never changed a diaper in my life—and I practically _live_ in my lab. There are days when I forget to eat! If I can't remember to feed myself, how am I going to remember to feed a baby?::

"You'd never forget to take care of Cerberus," Skyfire pointed out.

She snorted. ::He wouldn't let me! All his alarms would go off, and I wouldn't get a moment's sleep until I'd figured out what the problem was!::

"I suspect human infants have an equivalent mechanism," Skyfire pointed out.

Priya stared at him, then laughed. ::Um, good point.::

"As for Garry…" Skyfire paused, thinking back on his encounters with Priya's fiance. "I don't know much about human relationships," he admitted, "but one thing I've learned is not to give up too easily on the person you love. Even if they've hurt you, there can be more to a situation than you understand."

She cocked her head, studying him. ::You _did_ meet the right person, didn't you?::

Skyfire smiled. _You have no idea how right he was_ , he thought. Aloud, he said, "It's time we headed back."

«-o-»

"Starscream, come in!"

No response.

Skyfire gunned his engines, pushing himself to his top speed. He'd been trying the same hail since leaving Arsia Mons, but the channel remained stubbornly silent. For the hundredth time, he cursed his failed experiment with the gravitic stabilizer. If only it had worked, he could have made the rendezvous easily. As things were, he was nearly four breems—or half an hour—late. Too late, he feared.

As he neared the rendezvous location, he saw the plateau where Starscream was supposed to be waiting for him was empty. He swooped down for a fly-by, scanning for anything out of place. A scuff in the soil, a pede-print, a rock that looked as if it had been moved. There was nothing.

_Frag._

He pulled skyward, scanning above for any sign of an aerial presence. Again, nothing. No vapor trail, no glint of sun on silver wings, no familiar blip on his radar display. Just an empty sky. 

"Starscream!"

The silence wrapped itself around his spark, squeezing to the point of pain. Starscream had given him the chance he'd asked for, and he'd messed it up—badly. Starscream was probably halfway back to Earth by now, and how could Skyfire blame him? Unless… something had gone wrong. What had Starscream wanted the gravitic stabilizer for, anyway? He'd made it sound so urgent, almost desperate. Was he in some kind of difficulty? Maybe he'd run into trouble, maybe he'd even crashed. Maybe he was lying somewhere in the desert wasteland between here and Cydonia, wounded or dying, and unable to respond.

_Starscream…_

Skyfire sent a pulse along their bond. Again, he got silence. He did a backward loop and swung northward. He'd go back to the base. If Starscream wasn't there, and still wasn't responding, Skyfire would begin a search protocol. He'd scour every bit of land between here and Cydonia. It was a lot of ground to cover, but—

There was a quiver along the bond. It felt like triumph, exultation, and touch of amusement. Skyfire heard the distant roar of jet engines, and then a dark speck appeared against the sun. The speck grew larger, taking the form of a silver F-15 Eagle with scarlet wing-stripes, plunging toward him like a meteor. It was a spark-stopping sight.

::Defend yourself!:: Starscream shrieked—and then, with a wild cackle, fired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In keeping with my new tradition of reccing a story at the end of each chapter, I now direct your attention to: [Hands Off](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4407839) by Ribbonnelle. Starscream, needing to finish a project, makes a rule to prevent Skyfire from distracting him. How well does it work? See for yourself! (And be sure to leave some nice comments so she'll write more wonderful stories for this most delicious of pairings. ;-) )


	8. A Shared Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skyfire was swift and agile despite his size, and more aggressive than Starscream would have dared hope. Not that he was fooled for a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to my nightmare! I've been working on the sparring scene for at least a year and half. This chapter went through lot—I mean a _lot_ —of rewrites, and I have to offer a very special extra thanks to my intrepid beta-reader, [Biting_Moopie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/biting_moopie/pseuds/biting_moopie), for reading and giving feedback on multiple drafts, as well as to [Dark Star of Chaos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkDecepticon/pseuds/Dark%20Star%20Of%20Chaos) for taking time to give feedback on emotional continuity. I've lived with this scene for so long that I really needed an outside perspective, and I can't thank either of you enough for taking the time to do so. You're both awesome; thanks so much!

"Whatever it is, being on ice kept it fresh," Thundercracker remarks as he finishes welding a seam on Skyfire's plating. 

_He isn't a fish_ , Starscream thinks. He resists the urge to clench his fists. With Megatron right next to him he needs to play this cool, but his idiot trinemates aren't making it easy. 

"But not perfect," Skywarp says, replying to Thundercracker. "Impulse center's down."

The pair exchange identical nods, as if they've made some profound discovery. Suddenly, Starscream can't take it anymore. He elbows in front of Megatron and barks, "Give him fifty thousand volts to activate his memory monitor!"

It's Soundwave who complies. He reaches for the electro-accelerator arm, swings it into position and fires, bathing the large, prone form on the makeshift med-berth in a blanket of charge. Starscream leans forward, watching avidly for any sign of response.

"Starscream," Megatron says, startling him. "Why are you so concerned about this creature?"

Starscream's response flows almost too easily, like water overspilling a dam. "Because I knew him once, a long time ago on Cybertron," he says, his attention still on Skyfire. Why isn't he moving? He hasn't even twitched. Is Skyfire even alive? 

"Again!" he commands, fighting panic. "This time, a million volts!" It's a risky move, one that could affect delicate systems like Skyfire's hyperdrive or his transformation system, but the situation calls for it. 

Soundwave transforms his arm into cannon mode. "Also," he intones, "cyber-motor relays are useless."

Starscream can't tell if it's a warning or simply a delayed response to Skywarp's comment, and he doesn't care. He knows Megatron's question was not from idle curiosity. If Skyfire doesn't wake soon, Megatron will lose interest in reviving him and order them to leave Earth to its fate, and Skyfire along with it.

_Wake up, Sky…_

He grips the edge of the med-berth, watching anxiously as a nimbus of crackling energy envelops Skyfire's form. What if this doesn't work? What if a million volts isn't enough? What if Skyfire had been damaged in the cave-in that had been caused by that blundering dimwit, Rumble? What if Skywarp or Thundercracker had bungled the repairs, or Soundwave had administered the charge improperly? What if—

But no, there it is.

A quiver, subtle as a breath of wind, passes up the length of Skyfire's body. His systems are lighting up as they absorb the charge, and a familiar, long-forgotten hum fills the air. 

"Memory monitor activating!" Starscream announces. His hand trembles as he slides it toward Skyfire, letting the tips of his fingers graze an icy shoulder. _Do exactly as I say_ , he sends through their bond. _That way, we both might live._

"You _knew_ him?" Megatron persists. 

Starscream withdraws his hand, hoping the touch seemed accidental. Has he already said too much? But Skyfire's frame is warming noticeably by now, and Starscream feels his spark, like a small winged creature, flutter in response to the bond contact. Skyfire _heard_ him. He's here—alive. Starscream begins telling his story, schooling his voice to flat neutrality to hide a rebellious surge of excitement. 

Skyfire is coming back to him. Together, they'll be unstoppable.

«-o-« {∞} »-o-»

Starscream dove out of the sun. He engaged his laser array, low-powered blasts strafing the canyon walls while below, Skyfire simply hovered. Not moving, not firing back. When he finally responded, it was by doing the worst thing possible. He transformed.

::Starscream?:: He was peering owlishly upward, his tone hurt and confused as he asked, ::Why are you shooting?::

A sickening realization clenched Starscream's spark. Skyfire's current expression exactly mirrored his look of stunned betrayal after Starscream had shot him in the Arctic. It had been as if Skyfire had no idea what he was being punished for, or even that it _was_ a punishment as opposed to attempted murder. As if Starscream had become such a stranger that Skyfire imagined him capable of anything. 

_What is this…_ thing _you've become? You've turned into a monster!_

"I said defend yourself!" Starscream snarled, bitterness choking his voice. He fired again, but Skyfire continued to gape. How could he be confused about _this_? What had he imagined aerial combat sparring would consist of? Playing patty-cakes? 

Starscream activated the battle-sim program he'd loaded into the holoprojector he'd 'borrowed' from Skyfire's base. Three tetrajets shimmered into formation around him and opened fire as well, boxing Skyfire in on three sides. They were crude holograms, their frames woefully outdated. Skyfire should be able to tell they were decoys at a glance.

_Come on, wake up!_

To his intense relief, Skyfire did. He somersaulted midair and transformed, dodging blasts as he flew directly at the wall of laserfire. Surprisingly, he'd selected the fastest and perhaps _only_ route out of his predicament. What was more, he was rocking and weaving to make himself a confusing target.

"Good," Starscream said, surprised. "Your combat techniques have improved since our last duel."

::Duel?:: Skyfire responded dryly. ::You can hardly say it's a duel when you've brought all your friends.::

His voice was teasing now. Had Starscream imagined his earlier reaction, or was it simply that the shock had worn off? 

"You wound me, dear Skyfire!" Starscream pulled into a steep climb, leading his illusory squadron in a hairpin turn. "These are not _all_ my friends. Observe." As he pulled out of the turn, he added tetrajet versions of Skywarp and Thundercracker to the formation, making for a total of six Seekers.

::Impressive,:: Skyfire said.

"This is nothing!" Starscream did a series of rolls and his companions followed suit, sunlight flashing from their slightly transparent wings. He probed their bond as he did so, trying not to be too obvious about it. What Starscream found was relief, along with a certain cocksure confidence that was all too reminiscent of any of his raw recruits. He knew how to fix that.

"Think fast," he said. "We're closing on your tail, and will have you in targeting range within nano-klicks. How will you outrun us?"

That question was designed to elicit a _specific_ response, though Skyfire seemed to have other ideas. He answered by pulling into a steep ascent. Was that a coincidence, or had Skyfire chosen this strategy because the other option wasn't available? There was one way to find out.

"Not bad," Starscream said, giving chase, "but have you considered the effects of atmospheric drag? Your frame isn't designed to counter it the way ours are. You'll burn a lot of fuel with fast climbs like this one."

::I have a big tank.:: 

Skyfire corkscrewed, showing off his wings, and then—damn him—flashed his ailerons. As if he had fuel to burn. The inner surfaces of his wings were scarlet, and glinted tantalizingly in the sun. Starscream fought back a wave of longing. Was Skyfire _flirting_? But then he transformed, flipping over, then shifted back again plunged toward them like a falling meteor, his weapons blazing. 

Starscream was too shocked to react, and Thundercracker, along with two of the unnamed Seekers, paid the price. Skyfire took them out using non-lethal wing-shots, but all three erupted in bursts of pixelated fire as Skyfire rocketed past. Starscream transformed, and his two surviving holograms—which couldn't transform—hovered in the air flanking him.

"A big tank, hmm?"

::Well sure.:: Skyfire did a triumphant barrel-roll. "It's just a matter of knowing _when_ to burn, isn't it?::

Knowing when to burn? Skyfire _was_ flirting. Worse, it was working. How had he gone from his initial reaction to this—and so quickly? He was taking over the lesson! It was time to get things back on track. Starscream transformed back into jet mode and flew after him. 

"I hope you realize not every Decepticon is susceptible to your charms," he said, sending a few warning shots across Skyfire's tail. "We won't _all_ be distracted by the mere flick of an aileron!"

::So you're admitting you were distracted?:: Skyfire asked, sounding distinctly smug. He was soaring east along the canyon, his pale form hugging its walls with athletic ease. He banked into a series of rolls as Starscream began to close in, and an aerial dance; one that Starscream knew intimately.

How long had it been since they'd shared a sky? Too long, his frame was telling him. The wind scoured his plating in a brusque caress, making him ache with an old, familiar hunger. Would it really be so bad to get lost in this? Let himself have a little fun? His gyros answered that question at the apex of his next loop. They let out an audible whine and the horizon flipped. He slewed from side to side, and saw the holograms do likewise.

::Are you all right?:: Skyfire asked. 

"Fine!" Starscream snapped, righting himself by sheer effort of will. There would be no 'recreational' flying today. He needed to focus on the matter at hand. "You should worry about yourself," he said. "How do you propose to stay ahead?"

::I have greater range,:: Skyfire replied.

Starscream fired a shot that zipped past him and bounced off the canyon wall. "Wrong answer! You have greater range, but you're also slower, heavier, and less maneuverable. I'm toying with you. I can take you out whenever I feel like it. Unless…"

He paused, letting the sentence hang.

::Unless?:: 

"Unless you take radical evasive action."

Something shifted along their bond, as if Skyfire sensed the trap Starscream had set for him.

::Such as?:: Skyfire asked cautiously. 

"Don't be coy! Isn't it obvious? Use your hyperdrive!"

There was long beat of silence. 

::Isn't that… cheating?:: Skyfire finally asked.

" _Cheating_?" Starscream deactivated the holograms. He caught up to Skyfire with a quick burst and adopted a 'perch' position, maintaining a steady speed just above Skyfire's left wing. "The mech who just attempted to distract me with aileron peek-a-boo is suddenly concerned about fighting fair? I smell a retro-rat! What's really going on, Sky?"

::It's nothing, it's just…:: Skyfire paused, his field radiating the most charming discomfort.

"Yes?" Starscream prodded.

Skyfire slowed. Starscream did likewise, transforming when he did. They hovered, facing each other, and Skyfire's wings sagged. 

"I… can't."

Starscream crossed his arms. "Can't use your hyperdrive, really? I'm astounded!"

"How did you figure it out?" Skyfire asked.

Starscream reached in his subspace. "I'm not an idiot," he said as he drew out the fragment he'd discovered in the lab and tossed to Skyfire. "I know dyastic crystalline residue when I see it. The only way that can happen is if dylonium alloy, such as that fragment you're holding, is exposed to an extreme gravitational environment, such as—"

"Such as that which would be created by an artificial singularity generator," Skyfire concluded wearily. "Yes, I wanted to see if I could use an artificially-generated black hole to duplicate the wormhole effect that my hyperdrive creates."

"And I assume that's why you needed a gravitic stabilizer," Starscream added. "You must have been using it as a counterbalance to keep the black hole contained. Or trying to, at any rate."

"It was working," Skyfire replied, a touch defensively. "It was almost ready for field testing, when—"

"Oh—let me guess! It turned out that the gravitic stabilizer wasn't powerful enough to contain a miniature black hole, and you were forced to ditch the whole contraption into a containment grid to prevent it from sucking your entire lab into the next dimension. Am I close?"

Skyfire winced. "Something like that, yes."

"And yet," Starscream mused, "you _still_ found time to cut those leads, thus saving the gravitic stabilizer."

"As I said before, it isn't mine," Skyfire said. "It belongs to—"

"I don't care _which_ Autobot it belongs to! The point is, you could have gotten killed! And you should have told me," Starscream added. "How am I supposed to teach you to fight _Seekers_ when you can't even use your hyperdrive?"

Skyfire's expression went from chagrin to wariness. "What does my hyperdrive have to do with fighting?"

Starscream huffed, expelling a cloud of ice crystals. "I believe I just told you," he said. "You're slower than we are, you're far heavier, and your turn radius is three times ours on a good day! And oh yes—you're _white_. With red wing-stripes. Could you _be_ more of a target?"

"So you're _not_ teaching me to fight," Skyfire answered slowly. He crossed his own arms, mirroring Starscream's gesture. "You're teaching me how to run away."

"Obviously! What else would I have you do?"

"We have a deal," Skyfire said. "I asked you to teach me to fight, and you said you would."

It never failed to amaze Starscream how much he could look like a solid wall—a very handsome one—even while hovering in midair. 

"I am teaching you," Starscream said impatiently. "Knowing when, and how to beat a strategic retreat is crucial."

That was true enough. Evasion was among the first skills Starscream taught his recruits, mostly to keep the young hotshots from getting vaporized before they could become useful as Decepticons. Still, he wouldn't have put quite as much emphasis on it in their cases as he planned on doing with Skyfire.

"I _have_ fought, Skyfire said evenly. "Last year I fought Seekers on Cybertron, and succeeded."

"I know, Sky. I saw the footage."

Skyfire's optics narrowed. "How?"

Starscream was tired of arguing in the air. It was making his gyros complain, and besides, it would be easier to make his case if he could marshal supporting evidence. "Land," he said, pointing to a ledge in the canyon wall. It was flanked by a rock column that not only provided a wind-break, but also shaded it from the sun to make a natural projection room.

"Have a seat," Starscream invited, waving Skyfire toward a large boulder. The gesture was partly meant to cover his slight wobble as he touched down, and it seemed to work. Skyfire sat, adopting the posture of an attentive student, with his back straight and his hands resting on his thighs. His brow-ridges did rise, however, when Starscream took the holoprojector from his subspace.

"Is that…?"

"Yes," Starscream replied, setting it up on a rock. "I took the liberty of 'borrowing' it. Don't worry, you'll get it back."

"I wasn't worried," Skyfire said, watching as Starscream activated the device and called up a recording of Skyfire pursuing a squadron of tetrajets through the sky above Darkmount. "You _do_ have the footage."

"Of course I do. Shockwave has been in charge of Darkmount for fifty thousand vorns," Starscream explained. "With that much time on his hands, do you seriously imagine there's square micro-meter of that place that isn't festooned with monitoring cameras?"

"But why do _you_ have it?" Skyfire asked. His vigilant look had softened in a way that made Starscream uneasy. "Don't tell me you were carrying that in your memory banks just in case you needed to give me an aerial combat lesson."

"Obviously not," Starscream replied, starting the playback. "As a matter of fact, I'm saving it for…" he paused it just as Skyfire blasted one of the tetrajets. Another wing-shot, Starscream noted. " _Them_ ," he said acidly, stabbing a finger at the wounded flier. "I could have told Megatron that leaving a cadre of Seekers under Shockwave's 'tutelage' was a bad idea, but would he have listened? Of course not! And this is the result. A lone civilian shuttle with zero combat training and a faulty hyperdrive was able to hand their afts to them! That's unacceptable. They're all going to need retraining, which I suppose is just another item on the Air Commander's endless 'to-do' list!"

"So you're saying I got lucky," Skyfire said, staring at the image.

"Very," Starscream agreed. "If those nincompoops had possessed the slightest notion of what they were doing, you'd be a flat stain on the side of Darkmount right now."

Skyfire seemed to absorb this. "Well," he said finally, "I guess this leaves you no choice."

Starscream's wings rose. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not running away from any battle," Skyfire said. "In fact, we've established that I _can't_ run away, so I suppose that means you'll have to train me."

"Blackmail, Sky?"

"If you want to call it that." 

Their gazes locked. Skyfire's jaw had taken on a mulish set that Starscream didn't like, and to his immense annoyance, he found himself the first to glance away. This was Soundwave's doing. He'd obviously administered the charge improperly, and it had fried Skyfire's hyperdrive as surely as lightning would. He'd pay for his incompetence. Starscream would make sure of that, though it did nothing for Skyfire.

Frag it all.

"Fine!" Starscream turned back to the projector with an aggravated growl. "Since you insist, let's—"

His gyros lurched, struggling to adjust to the sudden movement. He stumbled and threw his hand against the boulder to steady himself, black specks whirling through his visual field.

"Are you all right?" Skyfire asked, his voice seeming to reach Starscream across a great distance. 

"Of course I am!" Starscream straightened so abruptly that he almost fell the other way. Skyfire started to rise, but Starscream warned him off with a forbidding glare. "Kindly observe," he said. "What I'm about to show you is an example of what I never want to see again."

The training simulation he brought up consisted of nothing more than a glowing blue grid to indicate the ground, along with two figures, one red and one white, standing rigidly at attention. If Skyfire were to ask, Starscream would claim that he'd created it just today for this particular training session. It certainly had the look of having been thrown together in a hurry, but that was only because Starscream didn't need—or want—details. 

The nights he'd spent alone in his quarters, watching this over and over, his memory and imagination had been more than enough to fill them in. The biting Arctic wind; the staccato whine of laserfire; the granite rage in Skyfire's voice. It was all there, indelibly engraved in his memory. He didn't need embellishments. Skyfire didn't ask, though, his worried gaze remaining on Starscream instead.

"Launch scenario," Starscream commanded. The red figure took off, transformed into a fighter aircraft and circled the grid. It dove toward the white figure, strafing the ground next to it. As the red flew past, the white figure transformed into a much larger aircraft and gave chase.

Skyfire made a small noise in the back of his throat, his hands tightening into fists.

"This is—"

"Yes," Starscream said. He'd wondered how long it would take for Skyfire to recognize it. Apparently, the event was as firmly fixed in his mind as it was in Starscream's. "Pause," Starscream ordered, freezing playback on the white craft shadowing the red one from above. "So far, our protagonist is doing quite well," he said, pointing to the white one. "Can you tell me what he's doing right, from a tactical perspective?"

Skyfire stared at the image with a stricken look. For a moment Starscream thought he wouldn't answer, but then he did. "He's gained a higher altitude," Skyfire said, seeming to drag the words up from some deep recess of his being. "That gives him… an advantage, in terms of potential energy."

"Indeed," Starscream said, pleased. "He's also positioned himself in his opponent's blind spot. This would be a prime opportunity to finish him off, but instead he does _this_."

Starscream unfroze the image. The red craft shot ahead as if it had sensed danger, while the white one angled into a retreat. The red one then executed a tight turn which brought it behind its opponent. Here, Starscream paused again.

"Our hero has made a potentially fatal error. Can you tell me what it is?"

"He's…" Skyfire's wings tensed. "He's let the red one get into _his_ blind spot."

"Yes. He's put himself squarely in his opponent's targeting window. There are still a few tactics he could use to try and save himself, but I'm afraid this…" he resumed playback "…isn't one of them."

As the image came to life again, the white craft executed a graceful loop which brought it into a collision course with its opponent. At this point the playback froze on its own, the scenario having ended on a final still of the two craft locked into a deadly game of chicken.

Starscream turned to Skyfire, who was staring at the image as if he'd seen a ghost.

"Tell me, Sky; what's wrong with _this_ picture?"

"They're in each other's targeting windows."

"And?"

Skyfire dropped his gaze. "One of us… would have to shoot the other."

"Yes," Starscream agreed. "This is a kill-or-die scenario. Whoever shoots first wins."

"Or… loses," Skyfire whispered.

"Assuming he doesn't miss," Starscream went on, as if Skyfire hadn't said anything. "It goes without saying that I _never_ miss. Yet strangely, I don't see you shooting."

"I don't see you shooting either."

"Because I don't _want_ to! Don't you fragging get it?" 

Skyfire's head snapped up at that, his blue gaze laser-focused on Starscream's face. He looked if he was about to say something, and suddenly Starscream couldn't stand to hear what it might be. He crossed the space between them and grasped Skyfire's chin. "Look! At! Me!" he snarled, leaning in so they were nearly nose to nose. His gyros objected, but he ignored them. "If you think I was _ever_ trying to kill you—at any point—then you don't know me as well as you imagine!"

Skyfire's optics widened. His mouth opened but then closed again, as if he'd changed his mind. Starscream glared a moment longer, then stepped back. "This is one of the scenarios we'll be training for," he said, gesturing at the holo. "We need to be able to fake a battle—and convincingly! Not this slag." 

"I…" Skyfire paused, seeming to gather his voice. "I understand."

" _Do_ you?" Starscream studied him narrowly. "That remains to be seen. As for the other Decepticons, they _will_ be trying to kill you, and you'll need to kill them before they get the chance. I'll be teaching you to strike hard, fast and without mercy. Is that clear?"

"Do I have to kill them?" Skyfire asked. "Couldn't I fire a disabling shot, like I did with the Seeker on Cybertron?"

"You nearly did kill him."

Skyfire dropped his gaze. "I've… wondered."

Starscream gentled his voice. "If you want to learn how to fight, it's going to involve hurting people. If you won't dirty your hands with a little energon, we might as well call this off."

Skyfire said nothing for a moment. "All right," he said at last, rising. Starscream could practically _feel_ him fortifying himself for battle. "What's next?"

Ordinarily, Starscream would have initiated another round of sparring, but the back of his neck had started to throb again. He banished the simulation and summoned holographic versions of the Rainmaker trio; Ion Storm, Nova Storm and Acid Storm. "Here, catch!" Starscream said, tossing the projector to Skyfire. "I've loaded this with introductory training drills. This one's the easiest. I want to see you run through the first two levels. Now, go!"

Skyfire tensed, his gentle features hardening in determination. He sprang straight up, transforming and took out Ion Storm with one quick blast. The Seeker's body ruptured, holographic fragments raining down as Skyfire hurtled skyward. Starscream watched in fascination as Skyfire— _his_ Skyfire—looped over, transformed again and rained fire on the remaining pair. Acid Storm and Nova Storm dodged the barrage, and Skyfire's shots tore into the canyon wall, causing a small landslide.

"Low power, Sky," Starscream reminded him over the comm. "They're just holograms."

::Sorry!::

Skyfire returned to shuttle mode and led his opponents into a steep climb. Starscream hoped he'd factored in the effects of gravity this time, but his concerns evaporated as he watched Skyfire dive out of the sun at a perfect attack angle. Twin blooms of fire against the tan sky told Starscream all he needed to know. 

"That was good," he said, flying up to get a better view of the action. To his relief, his gyros handled the altitude change without fuss. His helm was pounding and dark blobs edged his vision, but he'd get through this. "Now, let's talk about pursuit curves, shall we?"

The afternoon passed quickly. They covered all the basic maneuvers, and even some advanced topics that Starscream would normally reserve for a later stage of training. Skyfire's knowledge of physics made him a quick study, and when it came to flying, he performed beautifully. He was swift and agile despite his size, and more aggressive than Starscream would have dared hope. 

Not that he was fooled. Skyfire might be acting tough, but he was fighting holograms. His soft-sparked instincts were no doubt lurking just below the surface, ready to assert themselves at the worst possible moment. On top of that, no amount of skill or training could change the fact that he wasn't built for dogfighting. Without the slim advantage his hyperdrive would have offered, he was as good as helpless.

Damn Soundwave. 

This was his fault. Unless, of course, it was Rumble's. He'd caused the cave-in. Had the reverberations of his pile-drivers delivered shocks to Skyfire's frame that would have made him susceptible to further damage? Then there was Skywarp's and Thundercracker's casual butchery. Both were trained in basic field repairs, as all Decepticons worse, but that didn't make them medics, and neither of them knew the first thing about Altihexian biosystems. What if one of _them_ had done this?

Starscream's comm pinged, startling him from his thoughts. When he opened the channel Soundwave's familiar drone came through, interspersed with bursts of static. 

::Monacus operation: in jeopardy. Immediate intervention required.::

"In jeopardy? I don't have time for guessing games, Soundwave! What are you talking about?" 

::Cosmos… captured by… operative,:: Soundwave replied. The static was getting worse, making his words even more cryptic than usual. ::To wit: a Skuxxoid.::

"A Skuxxoid? How much ransom does it want?" Starscream had dealt with the tiny, pig-faced reptilians often enough to guess its probable motivations.

::Ransom: irrelevant. Intercept… required.::

"I'm a little busy right now!" Starscream snapped. He flew closer to Skyfire, who was cheerfully blasting holograms, hoping Soundwave would hear the din of laserfire. The movement cost him. His gyros, which had been increasingly rebellious throughout the afternoon, faltered. The lurch undercut his tone with an infuriating quaver as he added, "Tell Octane to clean up his own mess!"

::Octane: unavailable.::

" _Unavailable_? What the frag does that mean?"

Starscream's mind flashed back to those tense moments before Skyfire had awakened. Hadn't Soundwave had mumbled something about cyber-motor relays? Could he have meant that the relays that would normally insulate Skyfire's hyperdrive against electrical damage had been compromised? 

"Look," Starscream said, leashing his rage with some difficulty. "It just so happens that I, too, am unavailable. Tell Octane to get his slag together and either pay that ransom out of his own resources, or—"

::Megatron…. ordered intercept mission. Compliance… advisable.::

"Is that supposed to be a threat?" Starscream demanded. There was silence from the other end of the line. Fragger. Why couldn't Soundwave ever just say what he meant? Then again, the meaning of 'compliance advisable' _was_ reasonably obvious. "Fine," he said. "You can tell Megatron I'm—" 

Starscream stopped mid-sentence, realizing that the comm was dead and he was speaking to empty air. He took a moment to mentally curse Soundwave, Megatron, Octane and the blighted comm in explicit detail before flying to Skyfire's side. 

"That's enough," he said, as one of the Rainmakers exploded against the canyon wall. "You've done well."

Skyfire deactivated the holograms. ::I have?::

"Yes," Starscream replied, brushing their fields together in an invisible caress. Reluctantly, he added, "It's time for me to leave."

Skyfire's field shimmered with regret. "I wish you didn't have to."

 _Same here_ , Starscream thought. Their fields certainly seemed to have other ideas. They were sweeping against one another like waves along a shoreline, stirring up ripples of subtle pleasure. Starscream put some distance between them, fiercely reminding himself of Soundwave's veiled warning. "It's getting late," he said, "and it looks as if there's a storm on the way."

"The squall _is_ coming faster than expected," Skyfire agreed. He transformed, shading his optics against the sun as he gazed along the canyon to where dark clouds towered above the western horizon. "Priya's been tracking its progress," he added. "She wants to make sure it doesn't interfere with her experiment." His comm buzzed. "Oh, that's her now," he said with a smile.

"Speak of Unicron," Starscream intoned, "and he will surely appear."

"Hush." Skyfire put a finger to Starscream's lips as he opened the channel. "Hello Priya; why are you using ground-comm?" His finger slipped away as he paused to listen. "As I said, it's probably just interference from solar flares, but if Phobos doesn't come back on its own, I'll check to make sure there are no mechanical issues causing the outage." Another pause. "Sure," he said, as if in response to a question. "I'm still in the area, so that's no problem. I'll ping you with the new coordinates as soon as I have them."

He ended the call. Turning to Starscream, he asked, "Do you have to leave immediately?"

They had drifted together again, and were hovering so close their legs almost touched. Skyfire's heat was wrapping around Starscream, a welcome balm against the thin, cold atmosphere, and a part of him—a _large_ part—wanted to say no; that he didn't have to go anywhere just now. The situation with Octane and Cosmos was beyond ridiculous, and shouldn't have been his problem anyway.

"What makes you ask?" he hedged. 

"I'd love to fly back with you," Skyfire said. "At least part of the way. I'd stay off the radar," he added hastily, as if anticipating Starscream's potential objections. "The thing is, I just promised Priya I'd check on Cerberus—her experimental drone—and relay its coordinates back to her. Normally she'd be able to track it using the comm station on Phobos, but it's down and the older ground-comm system she used to call me just now doesn't have the same capabilities." He paused. "Would you come with me?"

"You're proposing a detour to check on your human friend's… pet?"

"Yes," Skyfire said, as if this was a perfectly reasonable thing to ask of a Decepticon Air Commander. "It should only take a breem or two, if we take a suborbital hop to get there faster. But if you have to leave now, I understa—"

"Let's go."

As if the answer could ever have been anything but yes. It had been so long since they'd flown together, and the notion of having Skyfire by his side during the long, tedious flight back to Earth was too appealing to turn down. It would be almost like old times; like one of their exploration voyages. 

His gyros had other ideas. They protested as he transformed, but he ignored them. Skyfire shadowed him as he winged skyward, and he relaxed as Mars' gravity loosened its weak hold on him. The sky darkened as they rose higher, stars penetrating the sky's thin veil. Skyfire was a shining blur in the corner of his visual field, his pale form sparkling with ice crystals, and the sky became a deep blue tapestry.

Up here, Starscream didn't need his gyros at all. There was no up or down in space, and he could rely on his astro-nav system. It was a blessed relief to switch over to it, even for a few moments. He rolled, presenting his belly to the stars, and Skyfire swept past, close enough that their wings almost brushed.

::You're beautiful, Dragonfly.::

Starscream transformed and put his hand out. "So are you, Swan Dive," he said running his fingertips along the edge of a frosted wing. It was a nickname that he used sparingly, and the answering hum of pleasure through Skyfire's field let him know it was appreciated. 

::It took me a while to get used to your new altmode,:: Skyfire admitted softly as Starscream shifted back into his F-15 form. 

"So what's the verdict, then?"

::I like it,:: Skyfire said. ::It suits you.:: 

"Glad you approve," Starscream said, meaning it. His new alt had taken some getting used to, but he'd grown to appreciate its aerodynamic capabilities. It was better suited to flying in Earth's atmosphere than his tetrajet form would have been, and he liked its bold, aggressive lines. He was, in fact, thinking of keeping it.

::Are you ready?:: Skyfire asked, angling his nosecone toward the western end of Valles Marineris. 

Starscream flipped over and adopted his re-entry position behind Skyfire. "After you," he said, following in Skyfire's wake as he began to descend. 

This was something they'd done a thousand times. Skyfire's heat shields were adapted for atmospheric re-entry, whereas Starscream's were minimal, so it was only logical to fly behind Skyfire, taking shelter in the vacuum that his bulk created as he hurtled through the atmosphere. What Starscream hadn't counted on was the flame-vortex.

As the friction of re-entry heated Skyfire's frame, fire-trails licked over him from nose to tail and spiraled out behind him, forming a whirling firestorm in his wake. Starscream was safe from getting his wings scorched so long as he stayed directly behind Skyfire, but being inside the swirling comet-trail was too much for his gyros. He broke away, cursing as the flames scored his finish.

::Starscream! What's the matter?::

Starscream was too busy focusing on the horizon to respond right away. Once he managed to regain his balance, he realized they were much closer to the storm. It was literally sky-high, a seething cliff of brown murk intermittently shot through with blobs of electrical discharge. "If _that's_ a squall," Starscream said, "I'm a hummingbird!"

::It looks worse than it is,:: Skyfire assured him. ::The atmosphere is so thin that even the fastest winds aren't strong enough to do much damage.::

"I see lighting," Starscream objected, "and I bet that dust can do a number on your intakes."

::If you were foolish enough to try flying in it,:: Skyfire agreed amiably. He drifted closer, and Starscream could almost _feel_ his sensors sweep over him, searching for signs of damage. Starscream stuck close by his wing, trying not to let on that he was now orienting to Skyfire rather than the horizon. His gyros, though wobbly, seemed to accept it as a temporary measure. 

"So where is this… Cerberus thing?" he asked, anxiously scanning the chasm below. The sooner they found it, the sooner he'd get back into space where he could give his gyros a rest. With luck, they'd settle during his flight back to Earth. For now, he was stuck clinging to Skyfire's flank like a frightened fledgling. 

::It should be down there somewhere,:: Skyfire said as they continued flying west along the canyon. ::The storm's developing out on the Tharsis Plateau,:: he added. ::It might look close, but it'll take a day or so before it actually gets here.::

"I wasn't worried!" Starscream snapped, fighting the impulse to edge closer to Skyfire's side as a particularly savage burst of lightning boiled through the dust cloud ahead. 

::It never crossed my mind that you were,:: Skyfire replied, sounding anything but sincere. 

"Delighted to hear it," Starscream grumbled. Surely Skyfire knew him well enough to be aware that he didn't partake in any foolish superstitions about lightning, such as the belief, common among fliers, that it was a bad omen presaging disaster and death. That was Octane's department. Then again, if Skyfire thought he'd broken from their re-entry formation out of a fear of lightning, that was far better than if he'd guessed the truth.

::There it is!:: Skyfire exclaimed. He transformed so abruptly that Starscream almost plowed into him. 

"Where's _what_?" Starscream asked peevishly as he transformed, his tanks lurching with vertigo as he gazed in the direction where Skyfire was pointing. Then he saw it. A glowing orange speck was moving in the abyss. As his optics adjusted, he saw that the glow was coming from the indicator lights on a small robot. "Ah, so it is," he said, resetting his optics in a vain effort to keep the glow from breaking into a swarm of orange fireflies. "Can we go now?" 

The throbbing in his neck was worse. A buzzing noise filled his audials, seemingly coming from somewhere behind his optics, and the black specks were swarming again in his peripheral vision. He needed to get out of here, back into space—and fast.

"Just a moment," Skyfire said. He activated his comm. "Priya? I found Cerberus, and it's already more than a quarter of the way there! At this rate of progress, it should reach the docking station at least a phobe before the storm does. Here are the coordinates…"

His voice became lost in the buzz, and Starscream realized it was now or never. If he wanted to keep his secret, he had no choice but to fly. He transformed and shot skyward. The sun was dying in a bright haze, caught in the storm's upper reaches. Its light was breaking into globules that oozed across the sky like the waxy stuff in that lava lamp Scavenger had found once, but Starscream ignored it. 

::Starscream!:: 

There was a roar of engines behind him, closing the distance fast. Starscream put on speed, keeping his gaze on a single blue dot that grew brighter as the atmosphere thinned around him. 

Earth.

He was almost there, almost free. He knew Skyfire wouldn't try to _stop_ him, but—

::You've got a shimmy!:: Skyfire's voice, clipped and urgent, sliced through the buzz. ::Transform now; you're not going to make it!::

Starscream almost did. It was such an ingrained habit to obey when Skyfire, as the older and more experienced member of their team, ordered him to do something. But he wasn't _that_ Starscream anymore, as Skyfire would recognize all too clearly if he saw the marks on Starscream's neck. He channeled power to his thrusters, trying to push himself past the final layer of atmosphere—and heard a soft, distinct 'pop' from the vicinity of his gyros.

The world rocked sideways, ground and sky smearing into a sickening blur. He was distantly aware of Skyfire shouting to him, his words barely audible above the shrieking wind. 

::Transform!::

He was right—Starscream knew he was—and this time he tried to comply. His frame wouldn't budge. "I can't!" he shouted, his voice nearly lost to him as he plunged through the howling chaos. Skyfire was shouting his name, telling him to pull up, but it was too late. He couldn't see the horizon anymore, just the vast, open jaws of the canyon rushing toward him, ready to swallow him whole. 

He slammed into something hard, and a white haze swamped his visual field. His frame transformed explosively of its own volition, and Starscream threw his arms around whatever he'd hit. He felt himself gripped in return. Was this death? At the speed he'd been going he must have shattered when he'd hit the ground. But death wasn't what he'd expected. It felt surprisingly… warm. And floaty.

"Are you all right?" The voice next to his audial was harsh and shaken. The arms locked around his frame were too tight, and the question that came next was the one he'd dreaded almost as much as the crash itself. "How long have your gyros been this bad?"

"I… sorry," he choked around his rising gorge. "I'm going t—"

That was the last he managed to say before doubling over in Skyfire's arms and purging the contents of his fuel tank into the dark canyon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canon notes: One beta mentioned that Skyfire might be doing a little _too_ well during the training scene, which I totally understand. For anyone who thought the same, I'll just explain my reasoning. Whenever the cartoon shows him flying, he's performing some kind of daring aerial stunt, and he's also portrayed as surprisingly aggressive during battle scenes. I think the cartoon pushes the aggression part well beyond the limits of characterization at times, so I tried to rein it in while retaining his masterful flight skills and general fearlessness. Hopefully, I struck a balance that works!
> 
> Most readers will likely have recognized the flashback as the revival scene from _Fire in the Sky_. This is the only scene I plan to borrow directly from canon, but it's crucial enough that I felt it deserved a place in this story. I tried to render it as faithfully to the original as I could, and I hope my interpretation resonates. I've included a screen-cap from that scene which I love, because though it's a blink-and-you-missed-it moment, it says _so_ much about Starscream's real feelings.
> 
> The projector image where Skyfire is shown blasting a Seeker's wing is from _The Ultimate Doom_ , and the simulated dogfight between the red and white aircraft is, of course, a re-creation of the so-called battle between Starscream and Skyfire in _Fire in the Sky_. One of the notable features of their Arctic confrontation is that neither fired on the other once they were airborne, and Starscream, at least, would be aware that failing to fire in a head-on confrontation is tantamount to suicide. Draw your own conclusions. I've certainly drawn mine. ;-)
> 
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/97042561@N03/38963691855/in/photostream/)  
> 


	9. Facing the Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I'm afraid of knowing_ , he thought, his gaze tracing the scar that bisected Starscream's chest. Under the harsh overhead lights, it looked as deep as the Valles itself. _I don't want to know what made you into this._

A gigantic insect zips past the cave entrance, its wings a blur against the jungle canopy. Lightning slashes through the dense rain, giving Skyfire an unwelcome glimpse of the creature's stinger-tail. He can't suppress a shudder at the sight, especially when a second _Draconis Aerus_ —the first one's mate, perhaps?—swoops into view. The pair hover, staring toward the cave with clearly hostile intent. 

"I thought you said they were cute," Starscream mutters. He shifts his grip on Skyfire's rifle, tucking his wing farther back to keep weapon's muzzle from dragging on the ground. It's a stun rifle, the most powerful weapon Skyfire can legally own. It's so large in comparison to Starscream's frame that Skyfire wonders if he'll be able to fire it, but with Skyfire's arm damaged and Starscream legally barred from carrying any weapons at all, it's their only option.

"The climate of this world has changed since Cybertronian explorers were last here," Skyfire says between gasps as he struggles to set a force-shield generator in place. "It would seem they've evolved."

" _De_ volved is more like it," Starscream snaps. "Look what that… _monster_ did to you!" 

He shoves Skyfire's hand aside and activates the generator himself. There's a low hum and glowing force-grid appears, blocking the mouth of the cave. Not a moment too soon. The second _Draconis Aerus_ hurls itself at the cave entrance and Starscream slams into Skyfire's chest, shoving him out of the creature's path. There's a hiss and shower of sparks as the creature crashes into the shield. The _Draconis Aerus_ bounces off and lets out an affronted shriek as it flies back to its mate.

"They're not monsters," Skyfire protests, his voice sounding weak even in his own audials. The burning sensation in his chassis is making it hard for him to speak. "You can't blame them for protecting their eggs."

"I don't give two loose screws about their eggs! What we need is an exterminator."

"You don't… mean that."

"I most assuredly—aiee!" Starscream's snarl ends in a yelp of fear as both _Draconii_ rush the cave. The force shield trembles but doesn't fail, and the creatures zip back to hover at a safe distance, rubbing their frond-like antennae together in soundless conversation. A moment later, they fly off together.

"They're probably going for reinforcements," Starscream mutters darkly as he slumps beside Skyfire, keeping the rifle well within reach.

"They appear intelligent and well organized," Skyfire agrees. "If their evolution was triggered by an increased number of natural predators, as I suspect, then it appears they have adapted magnificently."

"Only _you_ would say that about something that tried to eat you," Starscream grumbles. He reaches into Skyfire's subspace, pulls out the first aid box and flips it open. "Let's take a look at that arm."

"No." Skyfire catches Starscream's hand and pulls it to his chest instead. "Not my arm, there's something else." He opens his chest panel. "It started when I was hit by that first bolt of lightning, and it's getting worse. Could you…" He trails off at the sight of Starscream's shocked expression. "What is it?" he asks, craning his neck as he tries to get a look inside his own chest. 

"It's…" Starscream's voice is barely audible. "It's… your hyperdrive. It's fried. Which means we're stuck on this blighted planet, with—"

A deep hum vibrates through the darkness. It sounds like giant fan-blades rushing toward them, and the next flash of lightning reveals no fewer than five _Draconii_ , ranged before the cave like sentries. 

Starscream grasps the rifle. " _Still_ think they're not monsters, Sky?"

«-o-« {∞} »-o-»

"We're almost there," Skyfire said as he began his final descent toward the outpost. "Are you all right?"

There was no response. He did a quick scan of his hold, as he'd been doing almost continuously throughout the flight back from the Valles. Starscream's life signature came up as bold and clear as always, though he did have elevated temperature readings. Skyfire had noticed the extra heat when he'd caught Starscream to keep him from crashing, and he felt it again now as he shifted into root mode and captured him in his arms. Starscream was burning up. It was so obvious now; how could he have convinced himself that it was due to a performance upgrade, rather than a fever?

"Just a bit farther," he told his unresponsive bondmate as he flew toward the outer doors. They opened unbidden, as did the inner set of doors in the antechamber. Skyfire was, for once, simply grateful for the odd malfunction. It might be a security risk, but it made getting inside so much easier.

Starscream muttered unintelligibly as Skyfire eased him down to sit on one of the bench-seats in the entertainment area. It wasn't Skyfire's first choice for an examination room, but it was more comfortable than his lab, and the lighting was better than it would have been in the observatory. 

"We're home," he whispered, sinking to his knees to stroke Starscream's hot cheek. 

"Crash…?" Starscream inquired weakly, his optics focusing with difficulty.

"No, love. You almost crashed, but you're safe. I'm going to fix you up, but I'll have to get my tools from the loft. Wait here, okay?"

He was afraid of letting Starscream out of his sight in case he tried to fly off again, but Starscream seemed beyond that. He simply nodded and slumped forward, head and wings bowed. Skyfire fought a wave of self-recrimination as he glimpsed what Starscream had been trying to hide: the cracked nano-patch on the back of his neck. 

How could he have missed this? Or accepted, even for a moment, Starscream's bland assurances that he was fine? That his lapses of balance were nothing to worry about, and that he'd been in the loft looking for a headache remedy? Skyfire hadn't truly believed him, but he'd wanted to—just as he'd wanted to believe Starscream was really happier as a warrior. There was a word for that: cowardice. It was the same cowardice that had fueled his hastily-made promise not to pry into Starscream's past. Sure, he'd been afraid of scaring his Dragonfly off, but it went deeper than that. 

_I'm afraid of knowing_ , he thought, his gaze tracing the scar that bisected Starscream's chest. Under the harsh overhead lights, it looked as deep as the Valles itself. _I don't want to know what made you into this._

It was an ugly, unworthy thought, but it fit. Starscream had called himself a monster, and Skyfire… _agreed_. Didn't he? Why else would he be so afraid of changing in the same way? Leaning forward, he pressed a kiss to Starscream's forehelm. _I won't let you down anymore_ , he thought. _Won't let cowardice speak for me again._

He got what he needed from the loft, and then wasn't sure whether he felt more alarmed or relieved to find Starscream still slumped in the same position when he returned. Fighting down worry, he set the first aid box on the entertainment table and selected an emergency ener-pak from its contents. "I'm going to start by replacing some of the fuel you lost," he said, opening the energy input panel in Starscream's forearm. He froze at the sight of the scorched cabling inside, but then remembered the severed leads on the gravitic stabilizer. Had Starscream been hardlining it?

"That must have hurt," he whispered. And now, this probably would too. Sending a ripple of apology along their bond, he plugged the ener-pak into the corresponding port in Starscream's arm. Starscream tensed, his fist clenching. "It stings, I know," Skyfire said. He took Starscream's hand and stroked it, murmuring soothing nonsense as the ener-pak emptied itself into Starscream's arm. Starscream's optics brightened. He sat straighter and attempted to rise, but Skyfire caught his arm.

"Shh, no," Skyfire said. "Just sit. It'll take a breem or two for your system to adjust to the influx of energy. Once it settles, I'll get you some regular energon and we'll see if you can keep it down."

Starscream subsided, seeming to accept this, but watched with considerably greater alertness as Skyfire eased the ener-pak from his port. When Skyfire pressed a fresh nano-patch over the scorch injury, Starscream made a harsh, throaty noise which Skyfire belatedly recognized as laughter. 

"Those patches don't work, Sky."

"This one should, but you'll have to stay off the gravitic stabilizer from now on. It kills nanites."

Starscream's free hand rose as if to touch the back of his neck, but then he seemed to cancel the gesture. " _Kills_?"

"Yes," Skyfire said, watching him closely. "This is where some knowledge of biological systems would come in handy."

"I do have _some_ ," Starscream muttered, glaring. "Just because I don't spend my time pruning rhizomes—or whatever it is you horticultural types do—doesn't mean I'm a complete ignoramus."

"Of course not," Skyfire answered with a smile. Starscream was clearly feeling better, or at least pretending to. "As a non-ignoramus, then, you're surely aware that all living organisms are surrounded by energetic fields. That includes nanites. The gravitic stabilizer is designed to immobilize gravitational waves, but it does the same to other types of energy as well, including the bio-fields of small organisms."

"So it paralyzes them," Starscream concluded.

"Yes. It causes stagnation and eventual death."

"Hmph. Funny how that wasn't mentioned on the warning label."

Skyfire chuckled. "I doubt the device's inventor imagined it would be used to stabilize a damaged set of gyros."

Starscream tensed, wings half-rising in another gesture that was swiftly canceled as if he was trying to hold his reaction in check. "I suppose there are any number of possible uses the inventor hadn't anticipated," he said airily. "Particularly if the inventor in question happened to be of the Autobot persuasion. They are woefully lacking in imagination, among other key—"

"Starscream," Skyfire interrupted. "I _know_. I saw the patch on your neck, and I saw you nearly crash into the Valles."

Starscream's gaze flicked towards the door. 

"No!" Skyfire grabbed his arm. "No," he repeated, lowering his voice. How could Starscream not realize that Skyfire knew? Then again, he'd lost consciousness shortly after Skyfire had asked about his gyros, so perhaps the information had been purged from his short-term memory. "You can't fly like that," Skyfire said firmly. "You need to stop trying to hide this and let me fix the damage."

Starscream narrowed his optics. "Fine," he said at last. His voice was toneless, sounding the way it had when they'd spoken in the Arctic. He'd seemed like a stranger then, but now Skyfire understood his eerie calm for what it was; a thin sheen of control stretched over a fathomless ocean of vulnerability. Starscream turned stiffly, wings hunched as if he was still trying to hide the back of his neck. "Fix me up so I can get out of here."

That was better than nothing. It was far better than having to physically restrain him, which was what Skyfire had feared this might come to. Skyfire reached for the nano-patch, but his hand shook. He stopped, trying to control the trembling. _No more cowardice_ , he told himself and peeled the nano-patch off Starscream's neck. It was so brittle that it fell away in pieces, and what Skyfire saw underneath made him catch his vents. 

"It's battle damage," Starscream announced as if he'd sensed, or anticipated, Skyfire's reaction.

"I wasn't going to ask," Skyfire replied, too quickly. How had he not seen _this_? Even when the injury had been covered, Starscream's neck had looked as if it had been crushed in a vise. With the nano-patch gone… 

"It was one of those Dinobots," Starscream went on. "The brontosaurus—Smudge, I think he's called?"

"Sludge… did _this_?"

"Oh, fine! _Sludge_ ," Starscream paused dramatically on the name, "seized my scruff and threw me into a rock-pile! I was laid up for weeks."

"Starscream…" Skyfire trailed off, staring at the mess. Congealed gyro-fluid clogged the inner workings of Starscream's neck, along with patches of corrosion and the powdery residue of wasted nanites. What Skyfire couldn't stop staring at, however, was the series of dents around the outside of the wound. Someone had tried to straighten them, but their pattern was still evident against the dark plating. There were five of them. Four on the right side of Starscream's neck, and a fifth, larger one on the left. Finger-marks. 

"What?" Starscream demanded, apparently misinterpreting his hesitation. "You find it that hard to imagine that your peace-loving Autobot friends might do something violent?"

"No," Skyfire replied, "not at all." He raised his right hand and held his fingers just above the pattern of dents, being careful not to touch. The hand had been large, though not as large as his own, and he thought again of the unseen presence that seemed to hover between them at times. It was here now, as obvious as Starscream's lie and every bit as unapproachable. With a shake of his helm, he reached for his disinfectant kit and began cleaning the wound.

"You have a cracked gyro seal," he told Starscream. "It looks like someone tried to weld it, but it's fractured again. I suspect an underlying torsion injury—yes," he said, as his cleaning efforts uncovered it. "There's a slight bend in one of the stays. It's been pulling on the gyro assembly and preventing the weld from healing properly. I believe that's the root cause of your problem."

"So what's the prognosis?" Starscream asked. His tone was brisk and practical now, without a hint of argumentativeness.

"You'll have to stay grounded for at least couple of days."

" _Days_? I can't be stuck on this rock for days! I've got a situation to deal with!"

"You'll have a worse situation if you attempt to fly on this injury."

Starscream tensed, and Skyfire braced himself. Coward he might be, but he wasn't letting Starscream leave like this. Not without a fight. But then, to his relief, Starscream slouched forward with an aggravated sigh. 

"Well, that's that," he said, almost to himself. "The mighty Octane's just going to have to deal with Cosmos-gate all on his—" he broke off. "You didn't hear that."

"Cosmos?" Skyfire echoed. "You don't mean my _friend_ Cosmos, the explorer from—"

"How should I know?" Starscream snapped. He was staring straight ahead, his wings high and tight. "I can't keep track of your friends, Sky. It seems you have so many."

"It is him, isn't it? What's going on? Is he—"

"Captured by a Skuxxoid, if you must know. An operative of ours is attempting to, ah… liberate him."

"Liberate," Skyfire echoed. That was a euphemism if ever he'd heard one. "By which you mean…?"

Starscream half rose and turned to face him, pinning him with a hard look. "He is an Au-to-bot," he said, enunciating each syllable. "You should be grateful that I'm out of the picture, because I can assure you he's infinitely safer in the hands he's in, rather than mine. If I go after him, it certainly won't be a rescue mission."

Skyfire stared, seeing again the cold stranger who'd confronted him in the Arctic. Yesterday, Starscream had warned him that this was going to hurt. But he'd known that from the start, hadn't he? Loving a Decepticon wasn't going to be easy, on any level. 

"All the more reason I'm glad you're here," he whispered.

Starscream said nothing. He just turned, letting Skyfire continue his repairs. A liberal application of disinfectant gel took care of the corrosion, but then came the hard part: straightening the bent stay and micro-welding the cracked gyro seal. Skyfire applied a numbing agent before he set to work, but Starscream's cervical assembly was bound to his central neural network, and there was really no effective way to block the pain.

"Let me feel it with you," he said, opening the bond from his end.

There was a beat of hesitation, but then Starscream opened his end of the bond too. It was a mere sliver of contact, but it was enough. They had discovered, long ago, that pain was easier to bear when shared, rather than endured in isolation. Skyfire took as much of it as Starscream would allow, and when he was done, he applied a fresh nano-patch to the wound and sealed it in place with a kiss. 

Starscream didn't move. Skyfire slipped his arms around him, gathering him close. "How do you feel?"

"Like I threw up in the Valles and nearly crashed," came the acerbic reply. "Not necessarily in that order. How do _you_ feel?"

Skyfire rested his helm against one of Starscream's intakes. "Like you'll vanish if I look the other way."

Starscream sighed, leaning back into him. "I couldn't, even if I wanted to. I'm yours, at least for tonight."

"Good. Then I won't have to restrain you."

A shimmer of amusement reached him through the gossamer thread of bond. "How you do talk," Starscream murmured. He turned in Skyfire's arms, leaning up to nip his mouth with a soft, biting kiss. It was, in some mysterious way, the sweetest kind of thanks Skyfire could have imagined. He opened for it and the kiss deepened, morphing into something rich and primal, but then Starscream released his mouth and dropped his helm to Skyfire's shoulder.

"You may _not_ restrain me," he said. "But, if you ask nicely, I might allow you to carry me to bed."

Skyfire couldn't hold back a grin. "All right," he said, kissing the bowed helm. "May I carry you to my berth?"

A tightening of the arms around his neck was the only response he got—or needed. He cradled Starscream against his chest and rose with him, carrying him into the loft. Starscream was in recharge by the time Skyfire settled him on the berth-pad. His frame was still hot, so Skyfire draped him in a thermal blanket to help normalize his temperature, then quietly slipped out. 

He needed a shower. His frame was dusty from having had to land several times during his morning's explorations with Priya. Martian dust, being slightly magnetic, had an annoying tendency to attach itself to one's plating. He usually enjoyed basking under the warm flow. It was both comforting and sensual, a soothing antidote to his memories of being frozen. Tonight though, he couldn't get through it fast enough. He wanted nothing more than to get back to Starscream's side as quickly as possible.

After he'd dried himself off, he headed for the galley and collected an assortment of edibles, including the energon he'd promised Starscream earlier. As he did so, he couldn't help noticing that the cupboard where he normally kept his medications was ajar. On closer examination, he saw that the lock had been expertly decoded. He couldn't help but smile. Keeping secrets from Starscream had never been his forte, and intrusive though it was, Starscream's not-so-covert investigation was the act of someone who cared—and deeply. 

On returning to the loft, he also noticed that the tarp he'd draped over the defunct sweeper drone had been moved. A peek underneath revealed that the drone's panels had been prised open, and some of the charred wiring had been replaced. On impulse, Skyfire pressed the drone's activation switch. A faint hum sounded from within, but then sputtered into silence. He dropped the tarp back in place.

Certain things couldn't be fixed, Starscream had said, and he hadn't just been talking about the sweeper. He'd meant _them_ ; their relationship. He'd meant himself. Now it seemed that at some point while Skyfire had been out in the Valles with Priya, Starscream had attempted to prove himself wrong. Had he succeeded? Skyfire doubted it. He couldn't imagine Starscream counting that faint quiver as a success.

 _Oh, Starscream_. 

When he got back to the observatory, he found Starscream on his side, one wing tucked beneath himself. His arms were folded across his chest, rifles sticking out at odd angles from beneath the thermal blanket. Sinking down next to him, Skyfire rested a hand against the side of his neck to gauge his temperature. The fever had broken. Skyfire lay down behind Starscream, folding himself around his hunched form. Starscream groaned, optics flickering alight.

"It's only me," Skyfire whispered. "Go back to sleep."

Starscream grunted, rolled to face him, and pushed a knee between his thighs. He settled with a rasping sigh, and Skyfire's chest tightened. "I'm right here," he whispered, kissing one of the proud intakes. He got an incoherent mumble by way of a response, and Starscream's ventilations gradually lengthened back to the slow rhythm of recharge.

To the silence, he added, "I love you."

_He's flying blind. The wind deafens him as he hurls himself against it, flinging him back again and again until his wings ice over and he's forced to land. He hopes he still knows the way, but the world around him is a gray, howling blankness. He has no landmarks, no radar, nothing to guide him but the frayed end of a bond that connects only to desolation. He stumbles, crashing to his knees._

_"SKYFIRE!"_

Skyfire sat up with a jolt, spark pounding. 

"Starscream?"

There was no answer. He glanced around in panic, then saw Starscream sitting on the berth platform's top step, facing away from him. His knees were drawn to his chest and his wings folded forward as if he was trying to protect something. He was shaking. 

"Starscream," Skyfire said again, shifting closer. 

He'd heard Starscream shouting his name. Had it been a dream? He reached out, wanting to touch, but some nameless instinct stopped him. Their bond was still open, if only by a crack. It had been Starscream who had dreamed—still _was_ dreaming—and Skyfire had dreamed with him. 

_Starscream_ , he sent, reaching through the bond. If the morning's events had taught him anything, it was how unwise it would be to startle him. 

A blast of Arctic wind slammed into him. It was a near-physical blow that sent him reeling even as Starscream sprang to his feet. "Who's there?" he demanded harshly. His weapons were priming, their harsh whine scouring Skyfire's audials. Was he about to start shooting? Skyfire rose and took a step toward him, meaning to grasp his arms, but then there was a soft 'click.' The noise subsided, and Starscream caught a ragged ventilation.

"What… where _am_ I?" His tone was so dazed, so bewildered, it made Skyfire's spark twist.

"Home," Skyfire said. "You're home, Starscream." 

"Sky?" Starscream took a step toward him. "Where… _were_ you? I thought—"

He tottered. Skyfire caught him, easing him down onto the berth pad. "It was a dream," he said, kissing his forehelm. "I'm right here; I haven't gone anywhere."

"Dream…?" Starscream tensed. "You _saw_?"

"Yes," Skyfire admitted, seeing no alternative to the truth.

The bond snapped shut like a trapdoor and Starscream disentangled himself. "Well," he said, sounding fully lucid at last. "I suppose we can't do _that_ anymore. You wouldn't think simply recharging together would present complications."

"I didn't mean to intrude," Skyfire answered numbly. Sharing dreams had never been a problem for them in the past, but there was no part of their current situation that wasn't complicated. With a shaking hand, he reached into his subspace and drew one of his field lanterns. It cast a warm glow when he lit it, throwing strange shadows over Starscream's face.

"How much did you see?" Starscream asked, his tone matter-of-fact.

"I saw… a storm," Skyfire hedged.

"That wasn't a storm," Starscream corrected. "It was _the_ storm. The one that took you from me." 

Skyfire set the lantern on the edge of the berth platform and bowed his helm. "I never thought about that," he confessed. "What it must have been like for you, after I… after I…"

"I believe 'crashed' is the word you're looking for."

"I should have thought about it. I guess I didn't want to imagine what you must have gone through. What _I_ would have gone through, if I'd been in your place."

"Strange." Starscream's tone was hollow. "I've often imagined what _you_ might have experienced, but I suppose I've had longer to dwell on it. Whatever you might think, though, I _did_ search for you. I didn't just leave."

"I never…" Skyfire paused, shock unspooling at the center of his chest. "You didn't need to tell me that."

"I couldn't fly in it," Starscream said, and Skyfire saw his clenched fists tremble. "It was like no storm I've ever seen. I searched all night, but there was no trace of you. Once the storm finally cleared, there was… nothing. Just ice, everywhere."

The bond quivered. A fleeting image came through, revealing a scrubbed whiteness that stretched in all directions beneath a featureless, iron sky. Skyfire shivered as as he felt the bitter wind knife its way through the seams of his—of Starscream's—armor. He shifted closer to share his heat. 

"Go on," he said.

Starscream did. The words came haltingly at first, then spilled out in a rush, as if Starscream had been waiting all these vorns just to tell this story. "I flew for days," he said. "I used every search pattern I knew, until my fuel reserves gave out and I could no longer maintain my altmode. I jury-rigged a solar generator from the equipment I had in my subspace—" at this, Skyfire's internals clenched at the realization that most of their survival equipment had been in _his_ subspace, "—and was able to condense sufficient fuel to take a recon flight every few sols. Within twenty of the world's years, I had mapped most of its northern hemisphere in detail. There was no sign of you."

"You should have used that power to fly home," Skyfire chided.

"And give up?" Starscream's optics blazed. "You were still alive out there somewhere! Still functioning!"

"But the bond had broken," Skyfire said, remembering what he'd felt in the dream. "Or it must have felt that way. You had every reason to believe I was dead."

"But I didn't!"

"Why not?"

"I—I couldn't think of you as dead. That's all."

Carefully, Skyfire reached to stroke a tense shoulder. His fingertips brushed the butt of the attached rifle, and found the weapon cold. Had Starscream powered down his rifles on purpose? That seemed unlikely, considering how caught up he'd been in the nightmare. He must have activated a safety subroutine earlier, one which had prevented his weapons from priming while he was in recharge. 

"Tell me what happened next," Skyfire said, easing closer when Starscream didn't pull away.

"I left," Starscream whispered, staring into the darkness.

"You made it home."

"No. A cargo ship found me drifting in space, apparently, and brought me back to Cybertron. Altihexians, I was told, though I don't remember it. Once I was back, I thought the worst was over. I thought I'd be able to bring help, but…"

He trailed off, curling into himself. Skyfire slid his arms around him from behind, enfolding him in the curve of his frame. He waited, rocking gently, and Starscream continued after a long silence.

"In the end, I didn't find you at all. Rumble did. And Skywarp. They caused a cave-in while they were excavating in one of the ice tunnels, and there you were. You looked so… dead. That was the first time I considered the possibility that you were—or that I should have stayed with you."

Skyfire caught his vents. "On Earth? You would have died."

Starscream twisted to face him. "What makes you think I didn't?" he asked, his tone stark as the landscape he'd shown Skyfire through their bond. "You're so fragging sure I'm still the Starscream you remember. What if I'm not? What if I'm someone you don't even recognize?" 

"I do recognize you." Skyfire touched Starscream's face, tracing the sharp, familiar line of his cheekplate. "Maybe I didn't at first, but I do now; I'm here, alive because of you—and _for_ you."

"Sky—"

"No." Skyfire put a finger to Starscream's lips, then slipped the hand beneath Starscream's jaw, cradling it as he leaned in to kiss him. "Trust me to see the good," he whispered. "It is so much clearer than you imagine."

Starscream's lips parted against his, releasing a soft, hungry sound. Then his hands were grasping Skyfire's chin-guard and forcing his head back as he rose to claim his mouth from above. Skyfire allowed himself be tipped backwards. The berth-pad made a soft 'whoosh' as his weight landed on it and Starscream slung a leg across his chest, pinning his wings with his knees.

"Trust you?" he asked, optics narrowing. "How much do you trust _me_?"

"With my life," Skyfire said without hesitation. He'd known it from the moment Starscream had put a rifle to his head, pretending to take him prisoner so they could escape a stand-off against the Autobots without compromising Skyfire's allegiance. It had been confirmed for him later, after he'd been captured by the Decepticons. His life had been in Starscream's hands the whole time, yet paradoxically he'd felt safer than he had since awakening from the ice. 

"Really?" Starscream's hands were splayed wide against Skyfire's chest, thumbs digging into the sensitive seam where his nosecone and pectoral components were joined. Starscream shifted his weight, settling his pelvic assembly more firmly against Skyfire's frame, and his glossa darted out to lick his lips as if tasting where Skyfire had recently kissed. 

A corresponding lick of arousal stirred in Skyfire's belly. He knew the signs. He could read Starscream like a datapad, and his hands were rising to cradle the slim hips before his mind had a chance to issue warnings about the advisability of getting into anything tonight. "You're tired," he said, a statement of fact rather than a question. "Your body needs a chance to heal."

Starscream's wings flicked impatiently. "I'm fine," he said as his hands continued their exploration, dipping into Skyfire's pectoral slats. He pinched lightly, and Skyfire couldn't hold back a shiver. Starscream's mouth curved in a wicked little smile. "Seems you're not as reticent as you pretend."

"I'm just—ah!" Skyfire's chest arched, a breathy groan escaping as Starscream pinched again, harder this time. The sensation wasn't—quite—painful, though it held promise of delicious intensity to come. "Are you… sure?" he heard himself ask, knowing full well what that amounted to.

Skyfire _knew_ Starscream in this mood. It had been a rare occurrence in their former life together, in which Skyfire had typically taken the dominant role, but he'd always cherished those moments when Starscream reversed the polarities. Surrendering to him had always been a special thrill, one Skyfire treasured, anticipated, and had a very hard time saying no to. 

Starscream was, of course, well aware of that. He spilled forward to drape himself over Skyfire, wings dipping on either side of Skyfire's helm to block his peripheral vision. They were sealed in an enclosed universe which consisted of just the two of them and the heat building between their frames. "You claim to trust me," Starscream said, nipping at Skyfire's audial. "Care to prove it?"

"You mean, like we used to?" Skyfire whispered.

"I have some new toys," Starscream replied, transferring his attention downward to mark the cables alongside Skyfire's throat. "But yes. Just like that. Unless, of course, you want me to stop," he added, rocking upright once more. 

Oh, that wasn't fair. Skyfire shuddered, his resolve weakening. "What do you have in mind?" 

Starscream, by way of response, reached in his subspace and drew out a pair of coiled flexsteel cables with grappling hooks on their ends. He held them up, letting Skyfire examine them from all sides. The prongs glinted coldly in the light. _Like thorns on a rose_ , Skyfire thought, his systems pumping with mingled nervousness and anticipation.

"Same rules," he stipulated. "If either one of us says stop, we stop."

"No," Starscream murmured, running a prong-tip lightly against the edge of Skyfire's pectoral engine casing. "If either of us says red dwarf, we stop. Feel free to yell for mercy to your spark's content."

Skyfire's gaze followed the hook, fascinated by the tiny, stinging pain that bloomed in its wake and by the faint, perfectly straight scratch it left on his plating. When the hook came to his pectoral slats it paused, hovering there as if awaiting permission. Skyfire's gaze rose to meet Starscream's calm, steady one. _This is going to hurt_ , he remembered Starscream saying. The scar on Starscream's chest was pain made visible, worn proudly in defiance of death. The marks on his neck were hidden now, a pain borne in secret. Skyfire thought again of the half-repaired drone and of Starscream's rifles priming in the dark. _Maybe we both need this,_ he thought. A pain that could be controlled, bent to their mutual will, and ultimately transformed into pleasure.

"Supernova," he whispered.

It was their old code-word for consent, and Skyfire felt, more than saw, the shift in Starscream's body. The corners of his mouth lifted in a flicker of… relief? Triumph? Gratitude? It was impossible to say. When his hand moved it was a smooth, controlled gesture, banked with hidden power. He slipped the hook between Skyfire's pectoral slats and tightened the cable with a firm tug. It caught on the sensitive inner surface. Skyfire heard himself gasp as a flash of pain burned along his neural nets, meteor-bright in the charged atmosphere of his want. He released a breathy groan.

Starscream hesitated, if only fractionally, then levered off his chest, the cable held firm. He caught Skyfire's leg. "Bring your knees up," he instructed, tugging the leg toward Skyfire's chest. "Then grab your heels."

Ah. Skyfire knew that position rather intimately, though he'd rarely been on the receiving end of it. His mind flooded with memories of Starscream bound—or not—grasping his own heel-thrusters as he held himself deliciously, wantonly open for whatever Skyfire chose to do to him. He reached down and tried to grasp his own heels, but discovered that he couldn't reach. 

"I… can't," he admitted, a rush of embarrassment heating his face. "My joints have been stiff, lately. Especially my hips."

Starscream shot him a wary glance. "From the ice?"

Skyfire nodded. 

Starscream's mouth compressed. "How about…" He paused, his gaze drifting along Skyfire's legs. "Can you grab behind your knees instead?"

Skyfire did.

"Think you can hold that for a while?"

"Yes."

"Good, because—" Starscream threaded the taut cable around Skyfire's knee and then his wrist, binding them firmly together "—you're in this position until I say otherwise."


	10. The Disarming: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starscream maintained his rhythm with care, watching every flicker of expression on Skyfire's face. His own pectorals tightened every time he ground back, as if they, too, bore the imprint of the hooks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this scene has been an absolute joy, which is the main reason it took so long. I wanted to linger over every bit of it! Even now it's hard to let it go, though I suppose I _do_ have to move on and tell the rest of the story. ;-) Many extra thanks to Biting Moopie and Dark Star of Chaos for their tireless help. You guys are both amazing. Please note that some new tags have been added (notably for light sadism), and more will appear with the next chapter. Enjoy!

After tying the last knot, Starscream sank back on his heel-thrusters, inspecting his handiwork. "Comfy?"

Skyfire cast a glance down the length of his bound frame. "Am I supposed to be?"

He was on his back, holding his knees to his chest. A set of grappling cables bound his wrists to the backs of his knees, and the hooks at the end of each cable were snagged into his pectoral slats. Starscream gave one of the cables a firm tug, exerting pressure on the sensitive slat and making Skyfire groan.

"No insolence, please," he said. "Just answer the question."

"Not… particularly," Skyfire admitted with a pained smile. "Not that I'd ask you to change anything."

His tone was light, but Starscream didn't like the clench of his jaw. Sure enough, when he probed their bond he found an area of blankness, like a sparkling's picture-puzzle with a piece missing. Skyfire was hiding something. Well, slag to that.

"Red dwarf," Starscream said, yanking the quick-release knots. The bindings dropped away, and Skyfire's optics flew wide with surprise.

"What?" Skyfire asked, sitting up.

"You're lying. Don't think I can't tell. Even if you weren't clenching your jaw as if you were trying to bite through a titanium girder, I can sense it through the bond. So, out with it! Where am I hurting you?"

"It's nothing," Skyfire replied. "My hips just get stiff if I've been in the same position for a while. They're usually sore when I wake from recharge, but it fades once I'm up and moving." He paused. "Are you seriously lecturing me about hiding pain?"

Starscream shoved him on his back. "We're in a scene," he snapped, leaning over him. "If you want this, I require honesty. So: do you?"

"Want this?" Skyfire licked his lips as an image of the two of them entwined in the Decepticon brig filtered through the bond. "Frag yes."

"Well, that's encouraging." Starscream let his hands drift over Skyfire's midriff, pressing here and there as he searched for hidden paths of tension. He paused at Skyfire's hips. "If we _are_ doing this, then I'm specifying a new rule: no bravery." Off Skyfire's questioning look, Starscream released his hips and leaned over him again. "I want screams or a safeword. None of _this_." He pulled his features into what he hoped was a credible imitation of Skyfire's 'brave' face. "Got that?"

Skyfire nodded. "No bravery. Got it."

"Outstanding." Starscream slung a leg over him, grinding his stiff codpiece against Skyfire's hip. "Begging and pleading are also acceptable. In fact," he nipped Skyfire's neck, "I encourage them."

Skyfire shuddered. "Yes… oh, please…"

Starscream silenced him with a kiss. "Patience." He knelt between Skyfire's thighs, ghosting his palms over his chest. He paused at the hooks, checking to make sure they weren't digging into anything sensitive, then resumed his downward journey. His hands came to rest on the two scarlet Ls that flanked Skyfire's codpiece. "Tell me if this hurts," he said as he shifted his weight forward, pressing Skyfire's hips into the berth-pad. 

Skyfire caught his vents. "Y… no," he replied harshly. "It's… no, don't stop," he added as Starscream withdrew the pressure. "More. Please."

"Pleading already?" Starscream hummed as he rocked forward, testing Skyfire's range of motion. When he found the edges of resistance, he began to work into them with a slow, rhythmic press and release. "Breathe with me," he ordered. "Exvent when I rock up, intake when I come down."

Skyfire nodded. "Huh—how'd you learn to do this?" he asked, matching Starscream's ventilations.

"War," Starscream replied, bringing more of his body-weight into the movement as they found their rhythm. "If you damage the same area often enough, you start getting creative." The throbbing imprint of Megaton's hand at the back of his neck served as a reminder that that wasn't quite true, but it was close to the truth as he cared to get. 

"Whoever taught you, I owe them."

Starscream managed a curt nod. "Tell me how this feels," he said, dragging his thumbs along the seam between Skyfire's waist and his pelvis. 

"That's… oh, that _is_ good." Skyfire arched his midriff, offering greater access. "Around the sides, too."

"Like this?" Starscream asked, burrowing his thumbs into the gaps where Skyfire's pelvic array met his fuselage. 

"Yes… oh, frag." Skyfire's ventilations deepened into groans as the stiffness began to melt. "What I meant," he added softly, "is that I'm glad someone was there to take care of you when I couldn't be."

"You're not even jealous?"

"No. If it was someone you fragged, I'm glad there was more to the relationship than just sex."

So _much_ more, Starscream thought. A bitter taste rose in his throat as he recalled his most recent encounter with Megatron, who knew all his weaknesses and had wrung a confession from him with the merest, gentlest of touches.

" _Just_ sex?" Starscream echoed, focusing on his task to avoid Skyfire's gaze. "You make it sound like that would be a bad thing."

"Hunhn…not at all," Skyfire said, visibly struggling to form words. "Sex has its own kind of… ah!" He broke off as Starscream curled his hand over his codpiece and squeezed, dragging out a helpless moan. "Its own kind of magic," he finished raggedly.

"I don't believe in magic," Starscream replied—a fact of which he was ever more certain, given his recent fever-dream encounter with a dragon and a supposed wizard. While that had obviously been a side-effect of energon deprivation, he had to admit there was something about the way Skyfire's body was opening to his touch that seemed, for lack of a better word, miraculous. If there was any true magic in the universe, this had to be it. 

"I believe in this," he whispered, and Skyfire responded with a tremulous sigh.

Starscream worked without hurry, making his way around Skyfire's hips and upper thighs. When he finally arrived at the juncture where Skyfire's thighs met his groin, Skyfire's knees rose as if by instinct. Starscream took hold of them and rocked upward in a slow, rhythmic wave, testing for areas of tension. There were none. Skyfire's hips moved effortlessly now, the joints gliding smoothly in their sockets. "I did this to you last night," he said, voicing a worry that had been nagging him. "Did it hurt then?"

"No. I'd been moving around all day, and…" Skyfire paused, his half-shuttered gaze sweeping meaningfully down the length of Starscream's frame, "I was already warmed up."

"And would you say you're warmed up now?"

Skyfire's mouth curled in a lazy smile. "I would, but feel free to run your own tests."

"I might have to." Starscream leaned up to take his mouth, scraping his fangs over the full bottom lip. Skyfire opened with a sigh, a quiver running the length of his frame as his long thighs wrapped around Starscream and pulled him close. Their glossae met in a playful duel, and Starscream was seized by the urge to just _take_ Skyfire, here and now. But that wasn't what either of them needed. He released Skyfire's mouth and rocked back to kneel between his legs. 

"Hips in the air," he ordered. When Skyfire obeyed, Starscream slipped a roll-pillow beneath them. This tilted Skyfire's hips upward, which served the dual purpose of making the binding position more comfortable while exposing Skyfire's crotch for Starscream's viewing pleasure. Among other pleasures, of course.

"Grab the backs of your knees."

Skyfire did, drawing his knees nearly to his shoulders.

"No need to show off," Starscream added, catching hold of them and drawing them back up so that Skyfire's thighs were at a ninety-degree angle to his torso. "This will do nicely," he said, gliding a hand down the inner surface of a gleaming thigh to probe the edges of Skyfire's valve panel. Skyfire made a soft, breathy sound, and Starscream smiled appreciatively when his fingers encountered slick dew. 

"Preliminary tests show promising results," he said, holding up his wet fingers for Skyfire to see. "And I must say, you make quite a sight like this with your pedes in the air, all wet and…" He drew his hand up to curl possessively over Skyfire's codpiece. "Yes, and _hard_ , too." He squeezed the shielded length, relishing the lush heat and delicious tightness beneath his palm. "Well done. And you remembered our rule: panels stay closed until otherwise instructed."

A shiver raced through Skyfire's frame. "How could I forget?" His voice was low, breathy and… _young_. So achingly young, as if their long separation had never happened, and he sounded so undone, already. Keeping him balanced on his edge would be the purest of pleasures. Starscream took up one of the grappling cables. He ran it through his hands, enjoying its sinuous weight in his palms and the way the hooks glittered in the uncertain light. He'd used these cables in battle from time to time, the most recent occasion being when he and his trine had stolen the human-built Ninja robot, Nightbird, but that wasn't the use for which he'd originally forged them. He'd made them for _this_. 

Starscream checked the hook to make sure its sharp points were in no danger of damaging Skyfire's pectoral slats, then drew the cable tight. Skyfire gasped, his chest rising in a pretty arch as he tried to relieve the sudden pressure. Starscream eased the tension just enough for him to relax again, then wrapped the cable around Skyfire's opposing wrist and knee. 

He repeated the same process on the other side, connecting each of Skyfire's hooked pectorals to the opposite knee, so the dark cables formed a dramatic 'X' across his pale midriff. Starscream then looped a cable under each of Skyfire's pedes and wound them back up to his knees. This created stirrups, which would provide additional support for Skyfire's legs. Starscream moved Skyfire's knees back and forth, testing the tension. Once he was satisfied, he finished the bindings with the same quick-release knots he'd used earlier.

"Just look at you." Starscream slung a leg over Skyfire's chest, using his knees to pry Skyfire's upper arms away from his sides. This put pressure on Skyfire's bound wrists, forcing his legs wider apart. "All tied down, open for anything I might decide to do. And I could do anything." He rocked his hips against the crossed cables and pulling them tight. "You do _know_ that, don't you?"

Skyfire groaned, his optics blazing a shade whiter. "I do." His voice was a rough whisper, and Starscream didn't miss how his fevered gaze traveled the length of him, settling at his groin as he added, "I am at your mercy."

"How unfortunate for you," Starscream said, letting his hands drift over Skyfire's chest. He cupped the hooks, enjoying their pinprick sharpness against his palms. "As I'm sure you're aware, we Decepticons aren't known for mercy." 

He dipped his thumbs between Skyfire's pectoral slats to stroke the sensitive inner surfaces, making him shiver, then rolled his hips back, yanking the hooks tight. Skyfire threw his head back, his cry collapsing into breathy whimpers as Starscream continued stroking his pectorals in time with the grind of his hips.

"Maybe it's time I introduced you to more of our ways. The finer points of protocol, you might say."

"Finer… points?" Skyfire's tone was rough.

"Indeed," Starscream said as he continued his slow gyrations. "Perhaps you could remind me of what we've established so far."

"You… don't submit," Skyfire rasped. "You take the p-penetrative role in s-sex, and your valve is—ah! Off limits."

" _Very_ good," Starscream said, easing off the cables. "Anything else?"

Skyfire's brow-ridges drew into a frown as he visibly struggled to recall the information. "A higher-ranking officer c-can accept oral servicing to his spike by a lower-ranking one," he said at last, "or he can touch the valve of a lower-ranking officer, but not the other way."

"Excellent! You _were_ paying attention when we talked about this. But now for something we haven't covered." Starscream rose, abandoning the cables, and draped a leg over Skyfire's face. "Kiss me, thrall!"

Skyfire tensed. For a moment, Starscream wondered if he'd gone too far by using one of Dirge's favored terms of abuse, but then a pulse of hope, mingled with desire, filtering through their bond. "This is… allowed?" Skyfire's tone was that of a starving mech trying to decide if a proffered energon cube was actually real.

Starscream smirked. "I gave you an order, didn't I?"

"Yes, but—"

Starscream pressed his shielded crotch against Skyfire's mouth. "As your superior officer, I command you to clean my panels! And they'd better sparkle, or there _will_ be consequences."

Not that Starscream had thought of any consequences just yet, but he doubted he'd need any. He didn't. Skyfire made a small, hungry sound as he turned his head to the side, his lips grazing Starscream's inner thigh.

"Your scent," he whispered, scattering kisses. "So good, so…" His next words were lost in a hum of pleasure as his lips made contact with Starscream's valve panel. "You're so wet. I'm really allowed taste you?"

Starscream grasped Skyfire by his sensor-horns and ground his crotch into his face. "Lick it up, lackey! Suck it like the slave you are."

Skyfire quivered beneath him, and Starscream stifled a groan as a warm, slick glossa traced the edges of his panel, obediently licking up his juices. 

"Make sure you get it _all_ ," he ordered—and then, in a lower voice, added, "You didn't imagine _this_ would be protocol, did you?"

"Hnnn…no," came the muffled reply. "H… _how_?"

"You mean, how is it protocol?"

Skyfire's affirmative was a gust of warm air between Starscream's thighs.

"It's—hunh!—humiliating," Starscream managed, his voice abandoning him as hot, delicious tingles spread throughout his lower frame, "for a sub-subordinate to do this for a superior officer."

Skyfire paused. "I'm supposed to find this humiliating?"

"Y…yes! If you can manage that?"

"Hmnnn… I'll do my best," Skyfire murmured, resuming his licks and kisses. "This's… yes. Terribly degrading."

"Ex…cellent. Yes, I'm—glad you're t-taking the proper attitu—ah! Oh, Sky…"

Skyfire growled, sending vibrations pulsing through Starscream's array. It was almost too much, and Starscream had to fight a nearly overwhelming desire to unshield himself. It would be so easy to give in, to throw protocol to the wind and ride Skyfire's mouth to the brink of oblivion. Perhaps by morning, he'd forget all about it. Or perhaps he wouldn't.

The unseen hand at the back of his neck tightened. _Go on_ , Megatron's voice whispered. _Show us what you're really made of._

"No!" Starscream levered himself off Skyfire's face, then realized, belatedly, that he'd spoken aloud. "No more for _you_ ," he amended, brushing a thumb across Skyfire's glistening mouth. "I think you're enjoying your punishment far too much." 

"Guilty," Skyfire murmured, kissing his thumb. 

Starscream squelched a desperate urge to kiss _him_ , and returned, instead, to straddling his chest. As he sank his weight back on the cables, it occurred to him that he wasn't traversing Skyfire's edges so much as his own.

"Feel how heavy I am?" he asked, dipping his hips in a slow grind. 

Skyfire nodded, biting his lips.

"That's the weight of military-grade armor reinforcements. Every Decepticon has them. Your Auto-buddies probably do, too. You should ask."

Skyfire opened his mouth as if to say something, but Starscream clamped a hand over it. 

"No words," he ordered. "Just feel."

Skyfire subsided with a whimper and Starscream continued to roll his hips, making the cables—and Skyfire—groan. He wasn't _terribly_ heavy, of course. No flier could afford to be, but he was heavier than Skyfire would remember. He maintained his rhythm with care, watching every flicker of expression on Skyfire's face. Every time he ground back, his own pectorals tightened as if they, too, bore the imprint of the hooks. It was a dull, sweet ache that carved a path of flame straight to his groin, hardening his spike to a new, painful tightness within its housing.

"I mentioned some new toys," Starscream said after a while. "Would you like to see some of them?"

"P…please." Skyfire's voice was rough. His optics were edged in white, the corners of his lips glazed with Starscream's juices. He looked beautiful. Starscream, finally trusting himself, rocked forward on his hands and knees to brush a kiss to Skyfire's proud helm crest. 

"As you wish," he said with a nip to Skyfire's audial, then raised himself again, settling his hips at a level that would maintain pressure on the hooks without causing outright pain. "We do, of course, have other standard modifications. Observe." He cupped one of his own throbbing pectorals and released a hidden catch with a flick of his thumb. The panel opened, and Skyfire caught his vents.

"What… what are _those_?" 

"What?" Starscream asked, curling his fingers around the nosecone of one of the heat-seeking missiles. "Aren't these what you expected to see?"

"But what about your turbines?" Skyfire asked, distress bleeding into his field.

"Oh, they're still here," Starscream assured him, casually extending the missiles forward in their cradles. He couldn't help being amused by Skyfire's horrified expression. "These babies are deployable from beneath my wings in jet form." He began to unclip them one by one, stacking them in a tidy pyramid next to the berth-pad. "In root mode, they do a subspace-swap with my turbines. Every Seeker has a set," he added, pausing to run a finger lovingly along the barrel of one as he set it down, "even Dirge."

" _Even_ Dirge?" Skyfire asked, curiosity seeping in to replace his alarm. "Why even?" 

"Dirge is a priest," Starscream told him. "He belongs to a sect that doesn't approve of bodily modifications. But even he has accepted it, as a necessity of war."

"A priest," Skyfire echoed, frowning as if the concept required the rearranging of some mental furniture in order to make it fit. "I wouldn't have guessed that. It seems…"

"…Like something you wouldn't expect from a Decepticon?" 

"Exactly."

"He's a death-priest," Starscream said as he opened his other turbine casing and began unloading that one as well, forming a second pyramid of missiles on the opposite side of the berth-pad. "He takes care of funerary rites for our fallen. There's a lot you don't know about us, Sky."

"I'm… starting to see that," Skyfire replied, watching him work.

"You've seen nothing yet." Starscream set the last missile in place and arched back, bracing his wings against Skyfire's raised knees. The cables creaked ominously, making Skyfire wince, though his gaze remained fixed on Starscream's chest. As well it might. With the missiles gone, Starscream was now able to extend his engine turbines. They slid forward in their housings until their gleaming, cone-shaped hubs protruded into the cool air. Starscream grazed his knuckles against one of the tips, and grinned at the strangled noise Skyfire made.

"I didn't quite catch that," Starscream said, rolling his hips against the cables. "Is something wrong? Am I… _hurting_ you?"

"N…unhn…yes, but—ah!"

Skyfire's speech dissolved to incoherent noises as Starscream continued toying with the hub while his other hand slipped down his fuselage to cradle his groin. He tilted his hips forward, granting Skyfire an unobstructed view of his crotch, and then—his gaze locked with Skyfire's—slipped two fingers between his legs. 

"Hm," he said as he ran his fingers around the edges of his valve casing, "it seems you've done a rather shoddy job of cleaning me up." He raised his fingers to the light, letting Skyfire get a look at the slickness that now coated them. "I wonder how I should punish you?" 

Skyfire's groan was a delicious weight on his senses. "Please," he said, his heated gaze a physical caress as it slid up the length of Starscream's frame. "I'll accept any punishment."

"Really?" Starscream dipped his hips in another slow grind. "You should be more careful what you ask for. But maybe, instead…" he smeared each of the hubs with his own nectar and leaned forward so that his chest was poised just above Skyfire's face "…I'll give you a chance to atone. Care for a taste?"

"If… if it's permitted," Skyfire said huskily. "I thought you said turbines were off-limits."

"I may have oversimplified," Starscream replied. "Protocol doesn't specifically address flier frames, so turbines, ailerons, and the like are, shall we say… a gray area."

Skyfire's glossa darted out to lick his lips. "Then… I can suck your hubs?" He strained upward, but Starscream drew himself beyond reach. 

"Not so fast," he said, giving the turbine a slow spin. "You do realize that if I were to turn these fans on, I'd shred your face."

Skyfire's throat tightened. "Yes."

"And isn't that what you'd expect from a Decepticon?"

"I don't know," Skyfire replied. "I know _you_ wouldn't."

Starscream activated the turbine and angled it near Skyfire's face, letting him feel the wind from it. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know _you_ ," Skyfire said, his gaze never wavering from Starscream's. "I see you as you are." He paused, a crooked smile raising the corner of his mouth. "If I'm really allowed to do this, then bring them—"

Starscream didn't let him finish. He thrust the turbine-hub against Skyfire's lips, deactivating the fan in the nick of time. Skyfire took it without so much as flinching—and what the frag was _that_ about? How could he be so trusting? But then a low, pleasured growl vibrated in Skyfire's throat as he enveloped the sensitive cone in delicious wet heat, and Starscream canceled all further thought.

Turbine-play was delicate work, involving a high level of trust on both sides. The fan-blades, sharp as they were, could also be easily bent or broken, a painful injury that could ground a flier for orns. This by itself had been reason enough for Starscream to declare his turbines off-limits to nearly all the lovers he'd had throughout the war. Megatron was an exception, as he was for most things, but it had been a long time indeed since their encounters had strayed beyond the basics of a simple frag. Not that there was anything _wrong_ with a simple frag, but— 

"Aaah, Sky…"

"Mmmm," Skyfire replied, his mouth full. His glossa was circling the hub in languid swirls, licking up every last trace of Starscream's fluid. He drew back and vented warm air over it, stirring the fan-blades to spin lazily while he rubbed his cheek and jaw along the turbine's outer housing. The latter gesture reminded Starscream of Ravage scent-marking Soundwave or the other Cassettes when he was feeling territorial. Skyfire didn't have scent-pits on his jaws the way Ravage did, but Starscream suspected the gesture held a similar intent.

"Enjoying yourself?" he asked, bending to nuzzle the crest of Skyfire's helm.

"I am." Skyfire's mouth returned to the hub, teasing its tip with light flicks of his glossa. "You are… mmmhhm…" He sucked the hub all the way back in, tormenting it with light nips and luscious swirls until Starscream broke away with a gasp. 

"Too much?" Skyfire asked.

Starscream nearly said yes. It _was_ too much. It was making his knees quake and bringing his frame alive in ways that felt dangerous, even wrong, but he couldn't stop. "I'll tell you once you've cleaned the second one," he said, pressing his other turbine-hub to Skyfire's lips. Skyfire accepted it with a noise that almost a purr and repeated the same process until Starscream, unable to stand it anymore, seized his sensor-horns and captured his mouth in a bruising kiss. 

He thrust deep, plundering Skyfire's mouth for traces of his own flavor. It was there; elusive and bittersweet, the taste he captured in secret after pleasuring himself. Those were times when he might indulge one of his more illicit fantasies by imagining it was Skyfire's elixir rather than his own. Skyfire's was better. It was sweeter on his glossa, lacking the biting edge of his own. The memory made his spark ache, and he broke the kiss, pushing himself to sit upright. 

Starscream remembered the cables just in time, and slowed his movement so his weight settled onto them gradually. Skyfire's gaze met his, half-shuttered, heated and tender. Could Skyfire read his thoughts? Could he tell how shaken he was, just by looking at him? Surely not. Starscream was keeping the bond shut and his field tucked close to his frame, and he knew better than to let his emotions show on his features. 

He just needed a breath, a beat; a chance for his frame to settle. And for Skyfire to stop _looking_ at him like that, as if he was seeing right through his armor to the very core of his spark. It was unnerving, and it was definitely time he regained control, both of himself and the situation. Starscream reached into his subspace and watched Skyfire's face light with surprise on seeing the item he drew out.

"Where'd you get _that_?" Skyfire asked. "That can't be the same one we—"

"It isn't," Starscream cut in. The chromatizing plasma-gun they'd used on their bonding night had been destroyed along with the home they'd shared, and he didn't want to talk about that. But at least Skyfire's gaze was on the gun, now, and not on him. "This one, I built."

"Why would you build something like that?"

Starscream shrugged. "It's got uses. Numbering specimens, punishing those who disobey…" he thumbed the switch "…and play." The unit buzzed to life, and a nimbus of yellow plasma appeared at its needle-like tip.

"Play," Skyfire repeated, his lips curling into a slow grin. "You mark your, ah… conquests?"

"If they prove themselves worthy."

"I… see," Skyfire said, though Starscream was entirely certain he _didn't_ see. "Are you proposing to mark me?"

"I _am_ going to mark you," Starscream replied. "The only question…" he flicked through the chroma settings "…is what color." He paused on a violent shade of green and waited for Skyfire's look of alarm before moving on. "Purple," he said decisively. "The color of royalty, _and_ —" he tested the gun on his own inner arm and felt the familiar burn of plasma etching the hard layer of chromites that protected his armor "—Decepticons!"

He held his arm up, letting Skyfire see the insignia he'd etched on himself. 

"No," Skyfire said flatly. "Not that."

"Oh, you're no fun." Starscream bent to nuzzle his jaw.

"Starscream—"

"Don't worry, I'll keep it… non-factional." He rose again, settling himself more comfortably on Skyfire's torso, and swept his gaze over his waiting canvas. The broad expanse of chest, the powerful arms, the glorious sweep of wings, all awaiting his attentions. He knew _just_ how he was going to mark them. "You did say you trust me."

"Hmm, that isn't fair."

"Surely you didn't expect me to be _fair_." Starscream was amused by the tacit surrender. 

Skyfire's mouth twitched. "Of course not. What was I thinking?"

"Optics closed," Starscream ordered, covering Skyfire's optics with his free hand. The protective shields caressed his palm as they slid shut, and he couldn't hold himself back from kissing Skyfire. "I'm going to make you _all_ mine," he whispered against Skyfire's lips, reveling in the way Skyfire's fans kicked up a notch at these words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What can I say? My sex scenes usually clock in at around 5k, but this one, at more than twice that length, is an epic. I make no apologies, though it did seem prudent to split it into chapters. That means the chapter count for the story overall will be increasing, though I haven't figured out by how much. I've also decided to do a secondary posting of this scene as a stand-alone story, with notes indicating that it's an excerpt. I'm curious to see if putting the sexy stuff front and center will help attract a larger readership for "Scars," and I also hope that getting this scene in front of a wider audience will help dispel certain stereotypes about SkyStar being a lightweight or 'vanilla' pairing. Not that they _can't_ be, but I want people to see that there's a lot of unexplored potential with these two. No one deserves to be typecast.  <3


	11. The Disarming: Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A wild thrill tightened in Starscream's core. He felt the way he did when he was about to leap skyward, trusting his wings to carry him. He wasn't an officer here. He wasn't Megatron's second, or the Decepticon Air Commander. He was freedom. He was power, and he… _wanted._ To give to Skyfire in every possible way, denying him nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, many thanks go to my wonderful betas, [Biting_Moopie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/biting_moopie/pseuds/biting_moopie) and [Dark Star of Chaos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkDecepticon/pseuds/Dark%20Star%20Of%20Chaos). You guys are amazing. <3

Starscream began etching in the traditional place, just above Skyfire's spark. The plasma-gun buzzed against his palm as he drew curved lines across Skyfire's chest-plate, sweeping them outward like the wings of a bird. Skyfire's vents caught, and though his optics remained closed, as per Starscream's orders, he gave a soft grunt of recognition. 

Starscream smiled. "What did you think I'd mark you with? Blasphemous imprecations against Primus?"

Skyfire gave a snort that was half-chuckle. "I hadn't imagined that specific scenario, no."

Starscream had, in fact, marked Dirge in just such a way the last time they'd played like this. Dirge hadn't seen the humor, and they'd had to re-negotiate certain boundaries as a result. But Skyfire couldn't possibly object to receiving the same marks that he'd once given Starscream. 

Bond-marks, usually temporary, were a tradition on many parts of Cybertron. Seeker trines who chose to bond would receive marks from their clan elders prior to the ceremony. The marks represented the passing-down of clan traditions to a new generation, and were thought—by some—to promote fertility. Altihexians used them too, though in their case it was the dominant member of a bonding pair who would mark his mate. The patterns, carefully chosen, were an expression of both cherishing and of claiming. 

On their bonding night, Skyfire had marked Starscream with wings, stars and swirling nebulae. Rendered in an ancient Altihexian style that was half image and half poem, they represented space and freedom, flight and discovery; all the things Skyfire had wanted for his young mate. Starscream had memorized every line.

It took ingenuity to map the design onto Skyfire's much larger frame. Irritatingly, Starscream also had to modify the design to accommodate the Autobot insignia that Skyfire had seen fit to brand on himself, but the results were worth the effort. The marks would fade in a few days as Skyfire's chromites returned to their default settings, but for now the rich purple almost glowed, a perfect complement to Skyfire's natural colors. He looked stunning.

Starscream carried the pattern onto Skyfire's shoulders and down the length of each arm, pausing whenever a tremor ran through Skyfire's bound form. Being etched hurt, though it wasn't unbearable. It was a burning, tingling sensation that built slowly, not unlike the dull ache created by the pressure of the hooks lodged in Skyfire's pectorals. It was the kind of pain that Skyfire could ride like an updraft, and it was clear that he was, indeed, rising. 

His expression was rapt, his lower lip caught between his dentae. A whimper, sweetly vulnerable, escaped him with each new line he received, and it took all Starscream's willpower to stay focused on what he was doing. When glowing moisture welled from beneath Skyfire's optic shields however, Starscream withdrew the plasma-gun and reached to stroke his face.

"You all right, Sky?"

"Uhhnnh…" Skyfire nuzzled into his palm. "'S'okay," he whispered, tears spilling. "K-keep going."

Starscream reached through the bond. Even with his optics closed, he could trace every line he'd etched. He kissed Skyfire, tasting his tears, and the answering swell of emotion told him that Skyfire really _was_ all right. Starscream resumed his task, regretfully narrowing the bond back to a thread. Tempting as it was to follow Skyfire into the storm of sensations, he couldn't let himself get distracted. That could be dangerous, for both of them.

He moved to one of Skyfire's wings, adorning it with the same complex whorls that had once marked his own. When he reached the aileron, Skyfire loosed a primal sound. His neck arched, optics slipping half-open. Technically, that was breaking the rules, but Starscream couldn't have cared less. Skyfire's optics might be open, but they were unseeing, glazed with moisture. His next cry, when it came, was like the vastness of a stormy sky opening above them. 

This time it took a forced effort of will to keep the bond closed. More than anything, Starscream wanted to tumble into the vortex of sensation and ride it with Skyfire, feeling the plasma-gun's burn lick his frame. He paused, fighting to steady himself, and a gentle nudge came through the bond.

 _Are_ you _all right?_

Starscream caught a shaky ventilation. "Yes." He stroked the upper edge of Skyfire's wing. "Go on, let yourself fly."

Skyfire's parting caress came as a wordless shimmer along the bond. Then he was gone again, rising into the storm as Starscream continued etching the pale expanse of wing. As he worked, he stole glances at Skyfire's face, treasuring each flicker of expression. Skyfire was coming gloriously unmoored beneath his very hands, responding to the plasma-gun's every caress with spark-felt groans. 

Perhaps there _was_ something akin to magic in this. Something akin to sacred, too, though in a far more real and immediate way than whatever duties Dirge might imagine he owed his so-called god. Skyfire was _here_ , real and alive, and had entrusted Starscream with his frame. That was a gift beyond price. It kindled a fierce protectiveness, filling Starscream with the knowledge that Skyfire was _his_. He'd protect him, no matter what. 

When he'd finished etching Skyfire's wings, Starscream settled back to admire his handiwork. The design was incomplete, since Skyfire was lying on his back and Starscream hadn't wanted to break the spell by rolling him. He also hadn't been able to etch Skyfire's legs with the bindings in the way. Even so, the design looked…

"Magnificent," Starscream whispered, sending an image though the bond so Skyfire could 'see' for himself. "What a glorious prize you make." 

Skyfire's chest arched; he uttered a soft keen.

"I must commend your lack of bravery," Starscream added, placing a hand over Skyfire's pounding spark as he bent to whisper in his audial. "You're mine now, Skyfire. _All_ mine."

"Y-yes." Skyfire's voice caught, fresh tears spilling.

"I could take you back with me," Starscream continued, nuzzling his wet cheek. "I could take you bound, just like this. My captive slave, existing to fulfill my every desire. Or I could make you my consort, to rule at my side. I can have you any way I want."

This brought a teary smile. "You can have me…" Skyfire paused, visibly struggling to find words "…however you want… anyway."

"Can I, now?" Starscream nipped Skyfire's chin-guard. Of course he couldn't have Skyfire _any_ way he wanted. Not really. His frame was begging for things he _shouldn't_ want, as it always did he and Skyfire were together. With Skyfire bound, though, helpless to his every whim, he could could at least pretend not to be plagued by unwarriorlike desires. He moved down to Skyfire's neck. " _Any_ way I want?" he persisted, biting his throat cables.

"Yes… oh please…" Skyfire pressed his throat to Starscream's fangs. "Take me. Let me come for you."

Now _there_ was an image that Starscream's entire frame could get on board with. He growled approvingly as he shifted to kneel between Skyfire's thighs. 

"Panels open," he ordered. "Let's see what you've got."

Skyfire obeyed, groaning with relief as his spike leaped from its housing. It looked painfully hard, and Starscream wondered how he'd kept it in check for as long as he had. 

"I really got you going, didn't I?" Starscream murmured, running his finger down the curve of Skyfire's arousal. "What would your Autobot friends think if they could see you now? Rock hard, dripping wet…" his fingers slipped lower, tracing the outline of Skyfire's valve "…and begging me to fuck you."

Skyfire shuddered, hips writhing beseechingly as Starscream spread the lips of his valve. 

"They'd be _scandalized_ ," Starscream murmured. He vented warm air over Skyfire's valve, watching in delight as Skyfire's external node stiffened. It looked hard enough to cut diamonds, and seemed to be imploring him to lean down for a taste. Which was, of course, strictly forbidden. Starscream quashed the notion, sweeping his gaze up the length of Skyfire's glorious, bound, agonizingly aroused form. Skyfire's lips were moving, though nothing emerged but a breathy groan as he arched, parting his legs wider in sheer desperation. 

"There's no point trying to escape," Starscream chided, pretending to misunderstand the gesture. "I _am_ going to have you. But since you seem to need a lesson in patience…" He let the words hang. 

Skyfire's optics blazed whiter. "Unnngh! Starscream—oh _frag_ …"

Starscream bared his fangs in a smile. "We'll get there. But in the meantime…" he leaned over Skyfire, letting their groins brush "…allow me to remind you of who's in charge." Skyfire would never know how much Starscream was including himself in that statement. 

"Please," Skyfire whispered, straining against him in a frantic quest for friction. "Please, please…"

"Hush." Starscream put his hand over Skyfire's optics. "Close your optics like I told you, and keep them that way no matter what. Understood?"

Skyfire stifled a whine. "Yes."

"No matter what," Starscream repeated as he activated one of his rifles. The weapon's harsh reverberation electrified the air around them. Skyfire stiffened. Fear came through the bond as he twisted his helm away from the sound, as if he was trying to escape it.

"Easy," Starscream whispered. He cupped Skyfire's cheek, drew his helm back to center, then replaced his fingers with the rifle's muzzle. Skyfire flinched at the contact. His optic shields fluttered as if he was fighting to keep them closed, and Starscream waited, giving him a chance to think it over.

"Well done," he said at last, when Skyfire didn't pull away or offer a safeword. Starscream could only guess how much self-control that must have taken. He sent Skyfire a pulse of reassurance as he glided the weapon over Skyfire's lips, nose and jaw. The charged tip would produce a cascade of tingling, crawling sensations which were pleasant enough—if you could forget the source. Skyfire didn't seem quite ready to do that. His vents caught, throat cables tightening into hard ridges when Starscream slipped the rifle beneath his chin-guard.

"You can stop this any time," Starscream reminded him. He'd kept the weapon's safety on so it was in no danger of misfiring, but he'd seen far more battle-seasoned mechs than Skyfire quail at this sort of play. 

"Y—yes," Skyfire answered him, shakily. 

"Yes to stopping?"

Skyfire sucked in a gulp of air through his vents. "N…no, I…" He lifted his chin, baring his throat. "I trust you."

Starscream withdrew, breaking contact long enough for his arm to stop shaking. This _was_ what he'd needed. A chance to prove to himself that he could be trusted with his own desires. Yet Skyfire, it seemed, trusted him without question. He held very still as Starscream brought the weapon back to his throat, stroking the tense cables, though he released an involuntary gasp when the weapon reached his spark. 

"I know what you're doing," Skyfire whispered.

"Is that a fact?" Starscream circled the spot where his shots had struck home. The scar that remained was a shallow divot in Skyfire's plating, right next to the Autobot insignia. "You should have this repaired."

"Or maybe I should keep it."

"Why?"

"As a reminder."

Starscream gazed at his weapon, the tip of which now rested snugly in the scar. _As if it was made for it._ Fighting a tremor in his own voice, he asked, "A reminder of what?"

"Of what you said yesterday, when we were in the washracks," Skyfire replied. "That this is going to hurt."

And there it was. This was an exorcism, of sorts, and they both knew it. Starscream leaned down to kiss the spot. "I see you're a glutton for punishment."

"I might be," Skyfire replied. 

"Maybe we'll have to test that," Starscream added, kissing his way down Skyfire's chest. "See how much you can handle."

Reaching Skyfire's pectorals, he dipped his glossa between the slats and licked the sensitive inner surfaces. A low moan vibrated against his lips as Skyfire arched his chest, begging for more. Oh, yes. A glutton indeed. Starscream molded his lips around one of the hooks, dampening it with his oral fluid, and brought the charged rifle-tip near it. A spark leaped between the points of contact, and Skyfire gasped.

"Still think my disciplinary methods are a joking matter?"

"I never said—ahh!" Skyfire broke off as Starscream gave him another jolt. The charge wasn't strong enough to cause actual damage, but it would definitely sting. 

"Maybe it's a point that bears repeating." Starscream dampened a second hook, and a third, repeating the process, then migrated to Skyfire's other side to deliver a few good shocks there. He then cupped his palms over both Skyfire's pectorals, letting his warmth intensify the pleasurable tingles that he knew would follow the pain. 

Skyfire pressed into his hands. "Mmmhm, that feels…"

"Good?" Starscream suggested.

" _You're_ good," Skyfire murmured, his expression dreamy. "So good to me, so…" he trailed off again, as if words were escaping him. 

"Don't get too relaxed," Starscream warned, rocking forward to nuzzle his spark. "We're going to fly even higher."

Normally, he'd be steering a session toward its climax at this point, and his tired frame certainly wanted him to. But what if this was their last chance? Their last time together? The frigid Arctic night from his dream was still chasing him, still snapping at his afterburners like a pack of invisible predators. Starscream wanted to shake them off, if only for a moment. He wanted to make this a night that neither of them would ever forget. 

"Okay," Skyfire whispered, sounding so much, again, like his younger self.

Starscream kissed each of Skyfire's closed optic shields, bringing out his smile. Had they really been _this_ young on the night of the storm? Had Starscream been this young when he'd faced his first battle, or made his first kill?

 _No. Don't think about that._ Starscream pushed the thought aside and slid down Skyfire's frame, trailing his palms as he went. He wanted to let Skyfire know where he was going, and that he'd never leave him alone in the dark, or the cold. Never again. As he settled between Skyfire's legs, he ramped the charge in his rifle down to minimum, and pressed its tip to the base of Skyfire's spike. 

Skyfire tensed. Starscream didn't blame him. With the charge lessened, the rifle would now deliver tingles rather than shocks, but it was still an unsettling place to have a rifle touching you. Starscream held still, giving Skyfire a chance to get used to the sensation. When he felt the big frame relax, he cupped Skyfire's spike-head with his free hand, loving the way it filled his palm. 

"Weapon meets… weapon," he cooed, stroking the rifle-tip up and down Skyfire's rigid length while his fingers massaged the crown. 

Skyfire released a soft, airy sound as he rocked into Starscream's grip. "How… do they compare?" he asked.

"Let's see." Starscream pressed the rifle-barrel alongside Skyfire's thick shaft and gave a snort of mock disappointment. "Hmph. Yours is _still_ bigger."

"I've heard size isn't everything," Skyfire said with a shuddering laugh.

"Perhaps not," Starscream agreed, "but it certainly is… _compelling_."

"I can tell." Skyfire pressed into his touch, acting as if he'd forgotten all about the rifle's proximity to one of his most sensitive areas. Truthfully, Starscream had nearly forgotten about it himself.

Skyfire's size had always fascinated him. Not just the size of his spike, though that was certainly part of it. The memories of that spike inside him were as vivid as if it had been yesterday, but it was more than that. It was also Skyfire's deep chest, his powerful thighs, his massive arms. Those arms could enfold Starscream, flip him as if he weighed nothing, and pin him helpless beneath Skyfire's weight. Skyfire's body could cover and enclose him, making him the center of their own private universe. 

Starscream missed all that. He missed a time when there would have been no reason not to curl his glossa around Skyfire's crown, no reason not to take him in his mouth. He distracted himself from the thought by wrapping both hands around Skyfire's shaft, aligning his thumbs with the sensitive under-seam. Skyfire got the idea in a hurry. He began thrusting while Starscream simply watched, mesmerized by the sight of the thick shaft pistoning through his hands. 

_Go on_ , Megatron whispered. _We both know what you_ really _want. You fool no one, except yourself._

"Shut up," Starscream hissed. The words were out before he could bite them back, and Skyfire froze, mid-thrust.

"Hm? I didn't—"

"Not you."

Skyfire frowned. "Then—"

"Never mind." Starscream pushed aside the gentle nudge of inquiry that came through their bond. Damn. The last thing he wanted was for Skyfire to guess who he'd been talking to. He needed to refocus both their attention, and fast. He slipped the rifle deeper between Skyfire's legs, and that did the trick. Skyfire stiffened, his body straining both toward and away from the weapon in a single, shuddering motion. 

"Starscream—"

"Shh. Trust me."

Starscream continued to massage Skyfire's spike while using the rifle-tip to trace circles around his valve. He kept his touch feather-light, giving Skyfire a chance to get used to it. Skyfire remained tense, and Starscream couldn't blame him. On one hand, the charged tip would be spreading electric tingles throughout the lower half of Skyfire's frame. On the other, it was a rifle—next to his valve. 

His beautiful, beautiful valve.

"You really are glorious," Starscream murmured, sending images along the bond to show Skyfire how lovely he was. His valve-lips were puffy and slick with dew, his external node poking from between his silvery petals like the bud of some exotic flower. Starscream continued to circle, occasionally taking the rifle-tip onto Skyfire's inner thighs or along the length of his spike. Each time he returned to Skyfire's valve, he came a little closer. Skyfire gradually relaxed, pleasure seeming to win out over fear, and when the rifle finally nudged his swollen lips, they opened like a rose. Starscream's vents caught. 

"Sky."

Skyfire squeezed his optics tighter. His hands, bound to the backs of his knees, clenched in fists as the rifle stroked his array, and he gasped when the weapon circled his external node. Starscream withdrew, spark pounding. The urge to lean down for a taste of that flowing sweetness was overwhelming, but he was stronger than that. He was a Decepticon warrior, master of his own desires. He'd prove it. 

Starscream deactivated the weapon and pressed three of his fingers into a tight wedge, emulating the shape of the rifle's muzzle. Skyfire gave a startled grunt when Starscream nudged them against his entrance, and Starscream eased back, half-expecting a safeword. What he got instead was a slight rise of Skyfire's hips, followed by a gentle, answering bump against the tips of his fingers. An invitation.

 _Oh, Sky._

Starscream released a vent he hadn't known he was holding. Something inside him melted as he pushed deeper, his attention divided between the gripping heat enclosing his fingers and the look of mingled rapture and terror on Skyfire's face. Starscream knew it wouldn't take long for Skyfire to notice the substitution, but the mere fact that he thought Starscream was using his gun—and was _allowing_ it—was incredible. 

"Sky," he crooned, "oh Sky." Starscream murmured the name over and over, making a chant of it as Skyfire took him deeper. This, he knew, was _real_ power. If Skyfire could trust him this deeply, letting himself be penetrated—or so he believed—with the very weapon Starscream had shot him with, could anything truly be beyond their reach? What was protocol, compared to this? Just words, nothing more. Starscream curled his fingers and Skyfire's optics snapped open, his vents leaving him in a rush that became a shout. 

"Sta—Starscream…!"

"You did so well," Starscream whispered, leaning over Skyfire's quaking form to scatter kisses on his parted lips, his hot cheeks. "You were so brave. I'm so proud of you."

Skyfire's voice hitched with helpless laughter. "I… thought I wasn't… supposed to be b-brave," he stammered, his lips seeking Starscream's. Starscream sank into his fevered kiss, delving with his glossa even as his hand, still inside Skyfire's channel, continued to stroke and explore. His fingers met the slight bulge where Skyfire's transfluid secretory pressed against the forward wall of his valve. It was an exquisite spot, and Starscream knew just how to play it. He teased with the gentle, rolling strokes, the strokes he himself had once loved.

Skyfire gasped into his mouth. "Please, please…"

"Please what?" Starscream asked, nipping his lower lip. "What do you want, Sky?"

A tingle of charge danced over the tips of Starscream's fingers. The bond opened, and he felt the imprint of his own fingers inside Skyfire's channel as Skyfire's inner voice spilled into his mind.

 _You,_ Skyfire sent.

Just that; nothing else. A wild thrill tightened in Starscream's core. He felt the way he did when he was about to leap skyward, trusting his wings to carry him. He wasn't an officer here. He wasn't Megatron's second, or the Decepticon Air Commander. He was freedom. He was power, and he… _wanted._ To give to Skyfire in every possible way, denying him nothing.

 _Fly with you,_ he sent back, pouring admiration, passion and longing through their bond. He kissed his way down Skyfire's chest and wrapped his free hand around his shaft, giving a firm squeeze. Skyfire bucked, his mouth forming a soundless cry as Starscream pumped his length with one hand while his other grasped the heavy crown. Shimmering drops of pre-fluid were leaking from the tip, and Starscream felt dizzy at the sight of them. "Fly with you," he repeated, aloud this time, and sent an image along their bond to show Skyfire what he looked like in this moment, poised on the brink of climax. 

Skyfire responded with a low, anguished sound. _Come,_ he sent, and Starscream took the leap. 

He'd always loved Skyfire's taste. His musky scent, his unique flavor, the weight and shape of him in Starscream's palm. The way Starscream had to stretch his jaw to fit even the tip of Skyfire's length into his mouth. None of that had changed, and for a moment, it was like being in freefall. Skyfire's taste, his texture, his sheer _girth_ overwhelmed Starscream's senses as he took him in his mouth, and for a single spark-beat, he was just this. Desire unleashed, free of constraint. But then Skyfire went rigid.

"Starscream…!"

Skyfire twisted away as if he was trying to free himself. But that didn't make sense. Starscream held on. The bonds made it easy enough to maintain his grip, and this was what he wanted—what they _both_ did.

"Starscream, stop! Red dwarf! Stop!"

At first, the words were jumbled noises in Starscream's audials, devoid of meaning. Then his addled processor registered the safeword, and he froze. Glancing up, he gradually became aware of himself kneeling between Skyfire's legs, his mouth filled with a sweetness that was fast turning to acid.

Skyfire was staring at him, optics wide. "What are you doing?"


	12. The Disarming: Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What if I do the tasting for you?" Skyfire asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much gratitude to my two fabulous betas, [Biting_Moopie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/biting_moopie/pseuds/biting_moopie) and [Dark Star of Chaos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkDecepticon/pseuds/Dark%20Star%20Of%20Chaos). Your feedback on this chapter was as insightful as always. Thank you so much! <3

"What does it _look_ like I'm doing?" Starscream demanded. He was kneeling between Skyfire's legs, still gripping his thick shaft, still tasting him on his glossa. Everything else in his world had tipped sideways. He felt cold inside, and terribly exposed under Skyfire's laser blue gaze.

"I thought you were going to f-frag me." Skyfire's tone was hoarse, and Starscream hated the shocked, almost wounded look Skyfire was giving him. Defensive anger blazed up. He wasn't wrong about this; how could he be?

" _Don't_ tell me you didn't like what I was doing!" 

"Of course I did, but it isn't protocol." Skyfire shifted on the berth-pad as if trying to raise his upper body, but Starscream had done a good job of binding him. He fell back. "You said that a higher-ranking officer can accept oral servicing to his spike by a lower-ranking one, but not the other—"

"I know what it says!"

"Then—"

"You were going to let me stick my gun in your cranny! You seemed fine with that, but _this_ is what you safeword for?"

Skyfire's jaw firmed. "That was protocol. This isn't."

"So now you're some kind of expert? You don't even _like_ protocol."

"I never said that."

"You didn't have to!"

A hard silence fell. Finally, Skyfire sighed. "Okay, you're right. I don't like protocol. I don't see the point, and I hate that it makes you the enemy of your own desires."

"That _is_ the point, dear Skyfire! Desires are to be _mastered!_ That's the mark of a true leader."

"But even a leader has needs," Skyfire countered. "For touch. For intimacy—"

"Needs are irrelevant!" Starscream fought the urge to wrap his arms around himself. "Needs are—"

Terrifying. Overwhelming. Even now, he could feel them surge within him like a storm-tossed ocean, threatening to drag him under. He'd nearly given in. _Would_ have, if Skyfire hadn't pulled him back from the edge. 

"—and the need for safety," Skyfire concluded softly, as if Starscream hadn't interrupted. "I might not like protocol, or understand why it's important to you, but how could you ever feel safe with me if I let you throw it aside just because something feels good?"

"Hmph! You make this sound like an ongoing thing. It's far more likely we'll never see each other again—and, if we do, it'll be as enemies." 

"Then… you're _not_ taking me back as your captive consort?" Skyfire asked, with the flicker of a wry smile.

"I think it's been well established that you wouldn't last a day as a Decepticon."

"True. But then… isn't that all the more reason for us to do this right? And," Skyfire's tone became agonizingly gentle, "all the more reason not to do anything you'll have regrets about."

"So you want to stop?" Starscream asked. His comforting anger had drained, leaving his voice painfully small. 

"Starscream…" 

A pulse of warmth curled around Starscream's spark. When Starscream refused to meet Skyfire's gaze, the pulse became a tug, gentle but insistent. 

"When you started sucking me off, what were you looking for?" Skyfire asked. "What was your desire?"

Starscream gave up and returned his gaze to Skyfire's. "Apart from the obvious?"

"Apart from that, yes," Skyfire said with a smile. "I know you wanted _something_. Can you name it?"

Bathed in soft lantern-glow, Skyfire's marked, bound, exposed frame was a fantasy come to life. He looked the very embodiment of desire.

"A taste," Starscream said at last.

"Of me?"

"Of…" Starscream licked his lips, "…the way things used to be. Something to hold on to."

The invisible touch to his spark became a caress. Starscream found himself leaning toward it like a vine reaching for the sun, and shivered as the warmth enfolded him from within.

"What if I do the tasting for you?" Skyfire asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Through the bond," Skyfire explained. "Like what we're doing now."

A data-packet came through the bond, and when Starscream opened it, his senses were flooded by every sensation Skyfire was experiencing. His plating burned with bond-marks he'd etched on Skyfire; his pectorals throbbed where the grappling hooks were still lodged; his cooling hips ached with renewed stiffness. But beneath all that… hunger. Delicious exposure. Vulnerability. A desire to be thrust into, filled and taken.

"What do you think?" Skyfire asked. "Does anything in protocol forbid that?"

"I…" Starscream shook himself. It took him a moment to grope his way back into his own frame, sorting his own perceptions from Skyfire's. "You mean… if I fragged you, and felt what you're feeling through the bond?"

"Yes."

"No," Starscream admitted at length. "There's nothing to forbid that." Protocol, in fact, made no mention of bonds whatsoever.

"Then… we could do that, then," Skyfire said, his tone hopeful. "You _could_ fly with me."

Starscream stared at Skyfire. Had his seemingly naive mate just turned protocol inside out? With one simple, daring suggestion, he'd made protocol… _theirs._ A rush of excitement shook him as he reached for the quick-release knots.

"Starscream, you're not—"

"Not stopping, no."

"Then why—"

"Because you're starting to hurt again."

Starscream tugged the bonds free and wasted no time in removing the hooks from Skyfire's pectoral slats. As he looped the cables into coils, he realized his hands were shaking. This felt subversive. It felt… wild. As if they'd crossed an invisible barrier into some new, uncharted domain. _Here be dragons,_ he thought as he slung a leg over Skyfire's chest. He grasped Skyfire's audial horns, pinning his head to the berth-pad to make sure he knew who was still in charge.

"Now," he said. "You mentioned something about tasting."

Skyfire's vents caught, optics blazing a shade brighter as he swept his gaze up the length of Starscream's frame. His glossa darted out to moisten swollen lips. "Yes," he said, his voice rough silk. "Please."

"Well then. Since you're asking _nicely_ …" Starscream opened his codpiece.

Skyfire's hands rose, then paused to hover at Starscream's hip level. "May I touch?"

"And you've remembered your manners," Starscream praised, rocking his pelvis forward. "You may, indeed, service me."

"Thank you."

Skyfire's hands closed around Starscream's hips, nearly enfolding them—which was, itself, thrilling. Skyfire could have lifted him without trying. Could have thrown him down, pinned and forced him, but instead Starscream was the one in control. He had all of Skyfire beneath him, all that power at his command.

Hot, tremulous fingers dipped inside Starscream's codpiece. As his sheathed spike quivered to life under Skyfire's touch, the bond sent back impressions of satin heat, of hardening. Starscream sighed as those knowing fingers curled around his girth, and he swelled into Skyfire's palm.

"Starscream."

Another data-packet arrived, unfolding into an image of himself kneeling over Skyfire's face. His spike, front and center in Skyfire's field of vision, took up most of the foreground while the rest of him, sculpted in flickering shadow, was poised above. His wings were hiked in an unconscious gesture of dominance while his bared turbine-hubs jutted forth like a pair of missiles. Skyfire's thoughts were woven throughout the image, each glyph a superlative of beauty, power and desire.

"Want you," Skyfire whispered.

"Then have me." Starscream bumped his half-hard spike against Skyfire's lips. Skyfire opened with a ragged sigh. The bond-image dissolved in melting heat as Starscream felt, from Skyfire's perspective as well as his own, the sensation of his spike filling Skyfire's mouth. A mutual hum of pleasure vibrated between them as he swelled to full hardness, and he shuddered, hips jerking. Skyfire's hands tightened, holding him in stillness.

 _Just taste,_ Skyfire said through their link.

It was almost an order, but Starscream could do nothing but obey, his optics falling shut as he sank into the flow of sensation. There was so much to _feel._ His thickness filling Skyfire's mouth, the dense weight of himself, his texture. His musky, hot-metal scent flooding Skyfire's olfactory sensors, and the taste of himself in the torturous swirl of Skyfire's glossa.

"It's… not the same," he said, surprised. "I don't taste like that."

Humor shimmered through the link. _How do_ you _think you taste?_

Starscream recalled the last time he'd stolen a furtive taste of his own juices and returned the data along their bond.

 _Bitter,_ Skyfire noted, amusement deepening.

_Yes._

_Well to me, you taste…_

Another flood of sensory data came through. To Skyfire he was tart, not bitter. He tasted like a sharp breath of winter air; bitingly clean, and just… _good._

 _So good,_ Skyfire's thought-voice seemed to emphasize, but then Starscream realized the words weren't even being directed at him. Skyfire was lost in his texture and fullness, and it was all… good. _He_ was good; every part of him. Starscream's vocalizer clenched on a whine.

"Sky…"

Skyfire's hands suddenly tightened, jerking him deeper. Starscream pitched forward, nearly losing his balance as Skyfire began to tug and release, fucking his own mouth with Starscream's spike. Starscream could only fall into the rhythm, matching the pace Skyfire demanded.

This was protocol, but in name only. In reality, he was the one surrendering. The fact that it was his spike in Skyfire's mouth made no difference whatsoever, yet the sensations tumbling through the bond were right. He was both the taker and the taken. His mouth was stuffed to bursting, and as the spike pistoned in and out he was tasting the beginnings of his own essence—sharp, distinct—at the back of Skyfire's throat. It was all happening too fast. He was cresting already, with no way of stopping or even slowing himself down.

"Sky!" He grasped the base of his spike and squeezed, hard. "Stop! Right now, or I'll—"

Skyfire stopped. Starscream slumped, spike still buried, and strong hands gripped his waist, supporting him as Skyfire disengaged. "Is that what you were looking for?" Skyfire asked, nuzzling his belly.

"Y…yes." Starscream's voice was a shattered whisper.

A swell of gratification rolled through the bond as Skyfire dusted kisses against Starscream's fuselage. "You can have whatever you want," he whispered as his hands climbed Starscream's sides, gently pulling him down until their optics met. "Anything," he added.

Starscream kissed him. He couldn't help it, though no matter how far he plunged, he found only his own, familiar bitterness. The mysterious elixir Skyfire had shared was accessible only through the bond, though it _was_ there. Skyfire's hands caressed his shoulders and intakes, coaxing him deeper as powerful thighs rose to enclose him in a hot, tight space that felt limitless.

"It's okay," Skyfire whispered, hands cradling his face. "Let yourself fly. I'll be here to catch you."

Starscream heard a sound from himself that he barely recognized. Had he been waiting to hear those words? They were like the answer to a question he hadn't known to ask, and what was more, he believed them. Skyfire had dragged him back from the edge once, and would again, if needed. It was safe here. He _could_ fly. He reached down, pushing Skyfire's thighs apart.

"I got you worked up, didn't I?" he murmured as his fingers met hot slickness.

Skyfire pressed into his touch with a breathy groan. Starscream parted his folds and caressed his budding external node, loving the sounds he was making. His pleasure was like an electric current, heavy in the air between them. When Starscream slipped a finger inside, Skyfire threw his helm back, hands clawing at the backs of his knees to pull them wide. Whether he was aware of having just resumed his formerly bound position was beyond guessing, but there was no mistaking what his body was demanding. Starscream mounted him, pressing the head of his spike to the swollen node.

"Ready?" he asked, grinding with gentle hip-circles.

As if he even had to ask. Skyfire's response was a wordless nod, a single glyph shimmering in the bond between them. _Please._

Starscream nudged Skyfire's entrance. The silken folds parted and Skyfire's channel gripped him, pulling him into the tight, drenching heat. His spike gave a warning throb, and he withdrew. "Hm," he said, reaching in his subspace for his trusty mag-ring. "We'll have to take this slower than I thought."

"Got _you_ worked up, did I?" Skyfire asked, a smile dancing behind his gaze as he watched Starscream clip the device to the base of his spike. "I'll take that as a compliment."

"Take it however you want," Starscream replied, draping himself back over Skyfire. The ring molded itself to his girth, exerting pressure where it was needed, and he relaxed as the buildup of charge began to recede. "I certainly plan on taking _you,_ " he added.

"I sure hope so," Skyfire said with a grin, folding his long legs over Starscream's back. He used a heel to nudge Starscream's hips forward, though Starscream needed no such encouragement. He met the rise of Skyfire's hips with an inward push, and they both gasped.

"Slowly, slowly," Starscream crooned, though it was a reminder for himself as much as it was for Skyfire. He wouldn't last long no matter what, but he could pace himself. He pressed forward again, the head of his spike nudging the first caliper ring, and Skyfire caught his vents. A data-packet arrived, opening into an exquisite feeling of being stretched. Starscream's own, empty valve clenched, and he pulled back with a grunt.

"I said _slowly_ ," he admonished.

Skyfire flashed a young, brilliant smile. "Are you saying this is too much for you?"

"I did _not_ say that," Starscream growled. He wanted to silence Skyfire with a kiss, but he couldn't reach that far while he was inside, so he sent the feeling of a kiss instead.

Skyfire's gaze softened. His hands slipped to Starscream's waist, rubbing circles against his sides. "It's okay," he whispered. "What's mine is yours. Always and forever."

As if there was an always, or a forever. Starscream wanted to believe it, though, at least for now. But then Skyfire seized his hips and pulled him through the ring, thus obliterating all trace of rational thought. He let Skyfire set the pace. It was all he _could_ do, with all the incredible sensations that were spilling through the bond. How long had it been since he'd felt _this?_

It wasn't like being taken by Megatron. Typically, Megatron would hilt himself in a single, smooth thrust and then—if he was in a generous mood—pause to let Starscream adjust before setting to work. It wasn't cruel. It was what they both liked. Fast, hard and effective, with no awkward gaps in which either of them had time to think about what he was doing, or with whom.

But this…

This was fragging as he'd forgotten it _could_ be. Skyfire was taking him by slow degrees, letting him feel _everything._ Every clench, every release. The wonderful, wet heat of Skyfire's sheath, the caliper rings greedily molding themselves to his girth, and then also the stretch. The delicious sense of being opened and filled, of being taken, of giving himself over into abandon.

"Frag, Sky…"

"You like that?"

"Oh, frag…" The words were a rasping hiss, and Skyfire's answering groan, which vibrated through his whole frame, made Starscream very grateful for the mag-ring. He'd have spilled by now without it, and he wanted to make this last. Forever, if possible. For both of them. When the third and final set of rings parted, Skyfire's helm fell back, optics slipping closed on a sigh.

"You all right?" Starscream whispered.

A smile broke through as Skyfire let the bond speak, filling Starscream's sensory awareness with incredible sense of holding inside, of being held. "I don't think 'all right' really covers it do you?"

Starscream didn't have an answer for that, so he sent back everything _he_ was feeling in return. Every beat of Skyfire's life-pulse, all around him. Volcanic heat, a wet furnace that gripped him from root to tip. The sense of being held firm and steady, grounded within limitations that didn't confine, but promised a new kind of freedom.

"We can fly now," Starscream said.

It didn't make sense, but Skyfire nodded as if he understood. Starscream rocked his hips in a shallow thrust, and Skyfire rose to meet him. Their gazes locked.

"More," Skyfire said. "Higher."

Starscream pushed again, letting his frame lead with its innate sense of what they both needed. He couldn't reach the top of Skyfire's channel with the mag-ring in place, so he topped each thrust with a roll of his hips, grinding against Skyfire's external node. Skyfire's vents deepened, his optics glazing. His powerful legs squeezed and released, meeting each of Starscream's thrusts with one of his own.

The bond opened into velvet heat. There was a sense of guarding-sheltering-embracing something that was both fleeting and infinitely precious, and it _was_ like flying. It reminded Starscream of their mock-battle above the Valles, of spiraling together through an orange sky. He let that image spill through the bond, and Skyfire reached back to him with answering jolt of vertigo.

_Yes._

The orange sky dissolved, becoming an ocean of stars.

"More," Skyfire whispered again. "Take me there."

Starscream was almost there now, mag-ring or no. His internals were melting into burning incandescence, and he had perhaps a moment, or two, before he spilled. He grasped Skyfire's spike, meaning to pump him over the edge, but Skyfire caught his wrist.

"The ring," Skyfire said. "Take it off. I want to feel you deeper—"

There was no use for it now anyway. Starscream unclipped the ring and it dropped from his spike, landing somewhere on the berth-pad between them. He grasped Skyfire's knees, forcing them apart, then re-angled himself and slammed in as deep as he'd could. The bond told him when he'd struck the ceiling node at the top of his—of Skyfire's—channel.

It was like a supernova. A contained one. An eruption of white-hot lava deep inside his valve, deep inside Skyfire's. He rammed it over and over, his voice making sounds he couldn't identify. Skyfire was making his own music, delicious groans that made Starscream wish they could stay here, inhabiting this one, perfect moment, for the rest of eternity.

But then, inevitably, the collapse. Skyfire bucked, his optics snapping wide as his mouth shaped a frozen cry. His climax ripped through both of them, dragging Starscream over the edge. There was a dazzling release of charge, a spill of hot fluid between them, inside him, and…

"I—I dream," he stammered.

It seemed to be much later, though he was still inside, still anchored in the tight, sweet grip of his lover's body. Strong arms were around him, long legs crossed above his back, and the frame beneath him was burning hot. _Like the surface of a star,_ he thought as he pressed his face to Skyfire's canopy.

"You're a hot blue star and I'm falling… into you—" he broke with a gasp. A hand cradled his jaw, large thumb tracing his lips. He kissed the thumb. It was Skyfire who carefully disengaged them and gathered Starscream into his arms. Starscream pressed his cheek to the hot metal above Skyfire's spark.

To that blue, blue sky. That place of freedom.

When the sobs came, he did nothing to hold them back.

He wasn't an elegant weeper. Not like Skyfire, who could made it seem beautiful. His sobs were ugly, hitching, blubbering things that tore from his body in seismic gasps. All he could do was cling to Skyfire, holding on as best he could as the shudders took him.

"That's it," Skyfire whispered, folding himself around Starscream's frame. "Just let it out, it's okay."

It wasn't. It was the farthest thing _from_ okay, but Starscream couldn't speak. A bottomless ocean of loss had opened inside him. He was kneeling in the frozen darkness, the wind stripping his voice away. He was crushed beneath the wreckage of a Guardian Robot, awaiting death. He was huddled in the ruins of Altihex, gasping broken apologies to a small, graying form.

After a while Skyfire sat up, taking Starscream with him. Starscream jerked with surprise as something soft—a thermal blanket—was draped around him. He hadn't realized he was shivering, but when Skyfire bundled him close the blanket warmed, adjusting to his frame temperature. 

"Why you?" Starscream gulped as Skyfire rocked him. "Why _us?_ What had we done? We hadn't done anything to deserve this, we—frag!" His hands convulsed into fists. "If I'd only _found_ you, if I'd… oh _frag,_ Sky, it's not _fair!"_

"No," Skyfire agreed, his voice catching. "It isn't."

"I t-tried so hard," Starscream went on, his voice a cracked wreck of itself. "I couldn't—"

_I know, love. I know._

Starscream couldn't tell whether Skyfire had spoken aloud or through the bond. It didn't matter. He burrowed, pressing his face to the crook of Skyfire's neck. Skyfire's life-pulse was there, warm and alive; his frame was solid, his big arms a fortress of safety.

"I know you tried," Skyfire whispered, stroking his back. "And you did find me. You saved me in the end."

"Too late," Starscream gulped. "Too fragging late to make any difference."

"It made a difference to me. Still does." Skyfire nuzzled the top of his helm. "I'm here for you now, and always will be. You know that."

"But…" Starscream pulled back, meeting his gaze, "what if I do something wrong? Something you can't forgive?"

"Such as?"

Starscream's gaze fell to the scar on Skyfire's chest. It was only the most obvious example out of many. Skyfire spared a glance at the scar, but then gathered him close again. "I have forgiven you. The real question is whether you can forgive yourself."

Starscream had no answer for that, nor did he have the strength to think of one. The storm was fading, leaving him spent, and it was easier, for now, to just settle against Skyfire and let himself be held. 

"You didn't just find me," Skyfire added, after a while. "I don't think you ever left my side in the first place. Can I show you?" A sensory data-packet arrived through the bond. "Go on," Skyfire encouraged when Starscream flinched from it. "There's nothing in there that can hurt you."

When Starscream opened it, he found himself suspended in a seemingly infinite darkness. "What…? Is this…"

"The ice," Skyfire said.

It didn't feel like being frozen. He wasn't cold, and if he was immobilized, he couldn't tell. It was like the warm, heavy paralysis that crept into his frame at the edges of sleep. He felt weightless, and strangely… held. As if something… some _one_ … was curled beside him, or possibly _inside_ him. A second consciousness that cradled his own, keeping him afloat.

"I must have woken up from time to time," Skyfire explained, tone soft. "I didn't know where I was, or what had happened to me, or how much time had passed. But you were there. It felt as if you were, and I knew everything would be okay. It was you who kept my spark lit, Starscream. Without you, I would have just drifted away."

Starscream's arms tightened in a fierce hug. "I… I miss you, Sky." Those were the only words he had left.

"I miss you too, love." A swell of sadness and regret followed as Skyfire kissed his forehelm. "I know it doesn't compare."

It didn't, Starscream thought, but maybe that was just as well. Skyfire was still so young, in so many ways. He was a reminder of how everything had been before the war, before the ice, before… everything. It was better this way. Better that he wasn't all twisted up inside, guilty of—

_No, don't think of that. Not with the bond open._

They clung together in silence for a long time. After a while, Skyfire produced a box of mesh-wipes from somewhere and began cleaning them both. Starscream thought of protesting that this was really _his_ job, but he didn't have the energy. He let his head fall to Skyfire's shoulder and relaxed into his gentle touch. It was only when Skyfire began slowly withdrawing from the bond that he tensed, glancing up.

"Sky—"

"I have to," Skyfire whispered. "We can't fall asleep like this."

He was right, of course, since they didn't want to fall into each other's dreams, but it still hurt. It felt like a loss; like the beginning of a long, bleak future in which they could be little more than enemies. As Skyfire lay down, drawing the blanket around both of them, he hummed a tune that Starscream gradually recognized. It was the ancient Seeker love ballad Skyfire had learned, just for him, before they'd even been lovers.

"Your dreams are your own," Skyfire whispered. "But my spark is yours too. Always and forever."

Starscream didn't want to think about forever, so he tucked his helm against Skyfire's shoulder and curled into him, soaking up as much warmth as he could. He'd need it. They drifted. He might have slept. Vague images of wings flitted through star-fields and nebulae, through swirling banks of cloud. Through it all, Skyfire was like an island of solid warmth, his hands a caress of sunlight against Starscream's back. A short eternity seemed to pass, ending abruptly when Skyfire's comm pinged. 

"What—?" Starscream jolted awake. "What was that, what's happening?"

"It's okay," Skyfire assured him, checking his wrist-comm as he half sat up. "It's Priya again; she's still using ground-comm. I'd better see what she wants." He opened the channel. "Skyfire here."

There was no reply, just a hiss of static. Skyfire tried a couple more times, but finally closed the channel. 

"No answer," he said, slumping back onto the berth-pad. "It must be interference from the storm."

Starscream loosed an aggravated sigh. It figured. Skyfire's allies couldn't seem to leave them in peace, even for a moment. "I suppose you're going to go charging off to see what she wants?"

Skyfire shook his helm. "Nope," he said as he rolled toward Starscream, slipping an arm around his waist to draw him close again. "Whatever's going on can wait until morning."

Well, that was something. Morning had to be imminent by now anyway, but Starscream could pretend it wasn't. He could make this intimate darkness feel like forever. As he settled his helm against Skyfire's chest and began drifting off again, he heard Skyfire whisper, "I dream about you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I need to say something here! The story seems to have reached an epic milestone, though I can't quite put the feeling into words. In any case, I hope it was worth the wait, and that this chapter has provided some reassurance after the precarious note we left things on last time. Apologies again to anyone who was worried or upset by it. On a slightly different note, I will be re-posting these three chapters under the title, "The Disarming." It will be chaptered differently, with six chapters instead of three, but the text will be unchanged, so if you've read this version you can safely ignore the other one... or share it with your friends! ;-) I'm hoping to seduce a few extra readers into checking out "Scars," so I greatly appreciate any good words you can put in. Thanks so much!


	13. Counterbalance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's a human technology called yoga," Skyfire explained. "It's quite ancient, at least by their standards, and is thought to bring balance to both the body and the mind."
> 
> "Doesn't seem to be working that way for you," Starscream observed with a smirk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much gratitude to [Biting_Moopie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/biting_moopie/pseuds/biting_moopie) for betaing this chapter! Your comments and suggestions were incredibly helpful, as always. Thanks so much!

_He's tumbling through space, out of control. A terrible pain radiates from his side. Was he shot? Is he burning up? Shadowy forms dart toward him, firing. Their laser beams stab past him in the dark. He wants to transform, to evade their blasts, but his limbs aren't working. He can't pull out of the spin and he knows it's only a matter of time before one of his pursuers lands a lucky shot, sending him right back to—_

_A pair of arms wrap around him. They pull him close, holding him against a firm chest while a familiar voice whispers within his spark: It's okay, I've got you, you're safe._

_The pain melts as the stars dissolve into a deep blue inner sky. He feels himself lifted, higher and higher, to settle at last on a soft, warm surface that smells wonderfully of…_

"Skyfire?"

Starscream sat up with a jolt, spark pounding. He was alone in the dark, but it wasn't the darkness of space. A field-lantern cast a pool of flickering yellow light across the foot of a tattered, familiar berth-pad. Starscream glanced around, half expecting to see a cave entrance, or to hear the chittering hum of alien insect life. For some reason, his recollections of exploring the galaxy with Skyfire always took him back to _Draconis._

What if they had not been rescued? Would they still be there, living among the dragonflies? Back then, he would have considered that a fate worse than dying. Now, it seemed idyllic. Life had been so much simpler when their most pressing concern had been to avoid getting stung to death by giant insects. Not that that had been _fun_ , exactly, but… he vented a sigh, taking note of the evidence of the previous night's activities.

There were his grappling cables, neatly coiled next to the berth-pad. His pectoral missiles were where he'd left them, tidily stacked, and he smiled at the sight of his mag-ring, which was positioned atop a small cube of energon. He subspaced the items, took a sip of energon, and flopped back on the berth-pad. That was when it hit him: his neck didn't hurt. 

What was more, his cervical gyros hadn't complained about the sudden attitude change involved in sitting up. He was so used to having them miscalibrated that he counterbalanced out of habit whenever he moved. Living with dizziness and a faint but constant nausea was preferable to going back to the medbay and being treated to another of Hook's pompous diatribes.

 _What you get up to in your spare time is none of my concern,_ the Decepticon medic had loftily declared during Starscream's most recent medbay visit. _Whether it's… S-and-M or some other nonsense, I humbly request you not waste our precious resources on, shall we say…_ elective _damage._

Elective. That's what Hook had called it. As if Starscream had _asked_ to be slammed headfirst into a console. No one had complained about fixing the console, but apparently the Air Commander's neck occupied a different category of concern. But at least Hook had figured out what S &M stood for. Starscream supposed that was… progress. Of a sort.

He stretched, enjoying the warmth. Soft, rhythmic noises were drifting from elsewhere in the base. Music? The melody wasn't Cybertronian, though it was pleasant enough. It formed an agreeable buzz at the periphery of his senses, beckoning his thoughts back through further eons of time to some other morning when he might have awakened exactly like this, to a tingling sense of well-being and distant strains of music.

It wasn't hard to imagine himself rising from a berth that smelled, as this one did, of Skyfire and of shared passion. He'd wander down to a galley that was filled with the aroma of fresh energon. Skyfire would be there, of course. He'd always been an early riser. He would be studying a star-chart, or cooking, or tending a sick plant, all the while humming along with whatever music was playing on the sound system. 

Starscream would clear his vocalizer to get Skyfire's attention. Skyfire would glance up, smile, and…

"Bah." 

Starscream sat up and opened a comm channel. "Starscream to _Victory._ Come in, Soundwave."

Static was the only response. He tried a few more times, but gave up. That stupid comm station on Phobos was obviously still on the fritz. No surprise, considering it had been built by humans. He wouldn't be able to contact the Decepticons until he was outside the Martian planetary system. Which, of course, meant leaving. He had no further excuses to stay.

He rolled to his feet, taking the energon with him. The music grew louder as he walked along the passage. As he entered the lab, the first thing that struck him was that the tarp-shrouded drone was now missing. Skyfire must have noticed his attempted repairs. Had he accepted the inevitable and scrapped it? Starscream wasn't sure why it mattered, but it did. A peek inside the laboratory's trash disposal unit proved inconclusive. The drone wasn't in there, though it was possible that Skyfire had already atomized it, or recycled it for parts.

A muffled stomp diverted his attention. It had come from below, and was followed by a series of quiet Altihexian oaths. A smile tugged at Starscream's lips as he edged his way to the loft railing. Skyfire was in the base's main living area, his weight balanced on one pede while he shakily raised the other to press against his inner thigh. He was holding his hands in front of his chest, palms together in a prayer-like gesture, and his face, twisted into a comical look of concentration was… priceless.

"Ahem," Starscream said. "What might you be doing?"

Skyfire yelped. He stumbled, losing his balance, and barely caught himself against the edge of the galley counter. He glanced up, and—to Starscream's boundless delight—blushed.

"Tree pose," Skyfire replied. "Or my best attempt , anyway." Sheepishly, he picked up a datapad and began making notes. 

"That doesn't quite answer the question." Starscream hopped over the railing and descended to hover by Skyfire's shoulder. His gyros performed admirably, though a closer look at the datapad's screen did him little good. "Downward… _Dog?_ " he read aloud. "Mountain? Cobra? Sky, what _is_ this?"

"It's a human technology called yoga," Skyfire replied. "It's quite ancient, at least by their standards, and is thought to bring balance to both the body and the mind."

"Doesn't seem to be working that way for you," Starscream observed with a smirk. He landed, only to find the floor covered with a layer of springy dark material that bounced beneath his pedes. "What's this?" he asked, nudging it with a toe-cap.

"High-density rubber," Skyfire explained. "Humans make athletic running tracks out of it. I managed to get hold of some, and thought it would make a good yoga mat."

"Wise choice, considering what I've seen of your efforts so far. Though this doesn't explain what possessed you to take up… yoga… in the first place."

"Ah." Skyfire smiled. "That was Priya's suggestion."

Starscream flicked his wings. "Of course it was."

"Ratchet told me to exercise daily in order to rebuild the flexibility I lost in the ice. Priya's father teaches yoga, so she taught me some of the poses she learned from him. Apart from promoting flexibility," Skyfire added, with a meaningful glance at Starscream, "it can also help to stabilize one's gyros."

"Ohhh no," Starscream said, darting beyond reach. "You won't catch me in… Tree pose… any time soon. Besides, human physiology is _hardly_ similar to that of Cybertronians."

"True," Skyfire admitted. "Nevertheless, it seems to be helping. I've been tracking my progress," he added, tapping his stylus against the datapad, "and have noted measurable improvements. I'm not back to where I was before the crash, but I'm doing better."

"Anything to get you back in proper fighting condition," Starscream replied with a shrug. He plunked down cross-legged. The mat cushioned his aft with a pleasant bounce, and his gyros didn't even flinch. "So how long were you going to let me sleep?" he asked, changing the subject.

"I was actually about to come and wake you," Skyfire said, resuming his yoga practice. Having abandoned 'Tree' pose, he shifted into a position that looked even more uncomfortable. This one involved standing with his legs spread far apart and bending sideways so that one hand rested on the mat while the other pointed at the ceiling. "I know you have a long flight ahead, and…" Skyfire paused with a smile "…we didn't get much sleep last night. How are you feeling?"

"Fine," Starscream replied, twisting his neck from side to side. For once, he was telling the truth. There was some lingering stiffness in his cervical assembly, but overall he felt amazing. "Whatever you did last night made a huge difference."

"You mean… what I did to your gyros?" Skyfire asked with a sly smile, studying Starscream from his half-inverted vantage point.

Starscream scowled. "Are you flirting? _Again?_ "

"Is it working?"

Starscream huffed, pretending annoyance. He knew Skyfire was playing for time, but he couldn't stop himself from playing right along with him. "So what's _this_ position called?" he asked.

"Triangle."

"Not the Antelope? Or… the Ant-Eater?"

Skyfire chuckled. "Nope. In Sanskrit, it's called Utthita Trikonasana. Is that better?"

"Oh, _much,_ " Starscream replied. "That makes everything far clearer."

"Thought it might." Skyfire bent his forward knee to a ninety-degree angle and swung his raised arm to forty-five degrees. "This one's Side-Lunge," he added unnecessarily. "Also known as Skandasana."

"That's easy for you to say," Starscream groused, taking a sip from his cube. Fragging humans. If not for their uncanny influence, there was no telling where he and Skyfire might be right now. Ruling the Decepticons, probably—if not Cybertron itself. 

"It just takes practice." Skyfire shifted positions yet again, this time raising his torso and sweeping both arms ceilingward. "This one's Virabhadrasana," he said, clasping his hands above his head. "Also known as the Warrior."

"I… could get used to watching you do this," Starscream admitted. With his wings flared behind him and the newly etched bond-marks crisp and vibrant against his pale plating, Skyfire really did look the part of a consort to a warrior king. 

Starscream took a sip from his cube. The energon flowed down his throat like liquid silk, but it had a bitter aftertaste. Everything he wanted was right here, but there was no part of it he could take back with him. He could mark Skyfire all he wanted, but the Autobots had marked him first. There was no erasing that.

"Starscream."

Starscream glanced up. Skyfire was still in his magnificent Warrior pose, but he was studying Starscream thoughtfully. With improbable speed, he untwisted himself from his pose and stretched out on his back. He settled his helm in Starscream's lap.

"This is the final relaxation pose," he murmured. "It's considered the most important pose of any yoga practice."

"I can see why," Starscream said, running his fingers over Skyfire's crest. Skyfire's optics dimmed, and Starscream felt his powerful frame relax. Skyfire's helm was a familiar weight in his lap, and the energon he'd consumed was spreading a seductive warmth through his frame. _A pair of scientists could turn this into a well-functioning lab,_ he thought as he glanced around. It was a stray, rebellious notion, one he couldn't afford to entertain. Still. The thought of leaving all this, of going back to Earth and the dank undersea base, back to crude, static-laden energon and to his quarters with its hard, comfortless bunk—and back to _Megatron_ —all seemed immensely unappealing.

"Are you sore?" he asked, wanting to delay thinking about it for as long as possible.

"Mmmhm." Skyfire nuzzled into his touch. "In all the best ways."

"How about your hips?"

Skyfire unshuttered his optics halfway, his field radiating contentment. "Better than they've been in a long time. What you did last night really helped."

"You mean… what I did to your _hips_?"

Skyfire snorted a laugh. "Among other things."

His optics slid shut again. Starscream cupped Skyfire's face between his hands, stroking his thumbs along the contours of his faceplate. He didn't want to move. They'd found a point of balance, of nearly sublime perfection. Everything would be all right if they could just stay like this.

"Maybe we could get a little more practice in before I leave," Starscream suggested.

Skyfire looked at him hopefully. "Do you have time?" When Starscream vented a sigh but didn't answer, Skyfire covered one of Starscream's hands with his own. "I'm glad you came," he said. "You're welcome here whenever you want."

"Sure. Until your human friends discover this place."

"They won't."

"Or your Autobot friends."

"They won't either."

Or, Starscream thought, his _own_ friends. How many trips to Mars could he take before someone noticed? Soundwave was always looking for his weaknesses, waiting for his guard to slip so he could take over his position. How long could Starscream avoid the master spy and the prying optics of his various symbiotes?

Skyfire's fingers tightened. Starscream met his gaze. So blue, just like his dream. He could drown in that blue, lose himself. The worst thing about it was that, on some level, he wanted to.

It was Skyfire who broke the silence. "I've been trying to think of the perfect time or place to say this," he began, "but—"

Starscream put a finger across Skyfire's lips. "Don't."

Skyfire fell silent. As they gazed at each other, Starscream felt the balance shift. They had reached a point of inevitability. Tomorrow, he would be alone again. It was how the universe worked now, and there was no sense in prolonging this, or trying to pretend this was something that it could never be. 

He began extricating himself. "I have to—"

A deafening screech split the air. Starscream launched the rest of the way to his feet, weapons priming, but Skyfire sprang up with him and grabbed his arm.

"It's okay!" Skyfire said. "It's just the comm."

Starscream shot a savage glare at the wall-comm in the galley. "I knew that," he muttered, powering down his rifles. "Why do they have to be so fragging _loud_?"

"A good question," Skyfire said as he hurried to answer. He paused, turning back, and brushed a swift kiss to Starscream's jaw. "Don't go anywhere yet," he said. "I've got something for your trip." He opened the channel. "Skyfire here."

Static barked from the ancient speakers. "Storm…" a voice came through. "Valles." The transmission quality was terrible, but Starscream could tell this was a different voice from the one he'd overheard yesterday. It wasn't Priya's voice. It sounded like a human male. 

"Garry?" Skyfire said. "Your signal's breaking up. Can you give it a boost? I can't hear you."

"Noctis Labyrin…" the voice began, but was swallowed by another burst of static. The comm went silent.

"I hope everything's all right," Skyfire said as he tried to re-open the channel, but to no avail. "I'll fly up to Phobos later, and see about fixing their comm station."

 _Later,_ Starscream thought with a pang. Later, when he'd gone back to Earth. Skyfire's life would continue as it had been before Starscream's arrival. He was already making plans for it.

"Whatever would your fleshy friends do if you weren't here to run their errands for them?" he asked acidly. It wasn't that the human had interrupted anything, but Starscream still felt an irrational jolt of resentment. The flesh creatures had Skyfire at their beck and call, just as Starscream could feel Megatron's leash growing ever tighter around his own neck. 

"That's what friends do," Skyfire replied with the earnestness of a hero, turning toward the galley's chill unit. "They help each other out."

Starscream stifled a groan. "You really _are_ an Autobot, aren't you?" he muttered. And in so many ways, too. Right down to Skyfire's curious affinity for lower life-forms.

"I'm…" Skyfire paused, his hand on the door of the chill-unit. "If I am an Autobot, I'm not a very loyal one considering I'm about to give you these." He opened the door, revealing several rows of small, pearlescent white energon cubes.

"When did you make those?" Starscream asked.

"I woke up early, so…" Skyfire shrugged as he began unloading them onto the counter. "They're good quality. Better than you'd get on Earth, I think. They'll help speed your recovery."

Starscream's hand rose, unbidden, to the back of his neck. The edges of the patch were already integrating into the surrounding plating. Within a day-cycle or two, no one would be able to guess there had ever been an injury. _Until the next time,_ an inner voice reminded him. Megatron had developed a fixation for his neck lately. It was only a matter of time before the area was re-injured.

"I can't take those," he said. "If I'm caught with them…" He let the thought trail off.

"Then don't get caught," Skyfire said with a smile. "If I can hide a whole base from my allies, you can hide a few energon cubes." He pushed the stack along the counter to Starscream.

Starscream picked one up. It felt cool against his palm, thrumming with a subtle energy that made his digits tingle. "You do realize you're giving material assistance to an enemy?"

"Yes." 

Starscream glanced from the cube to Skyfire and found himself committing every detail to memory. The way the galley lights sculpted Skyfire's form in coppery radiance. The patterns of light and shadow on his strong, tranquil, improbably-beautiful face. How likely was it, really, that they would ever meet again? And yet. Skyfire had left the Autobots. He'd chosen to live here, alone in this wasteland, rather than continue as Starscream's enemy.

"Come with me." The words were out before Starscream had a chance to think better of them. "We'll come up with a plan on the way back to Earth," he added in a rush, not quite meeting Skyfire's gaze, now, for fear of the answer he might see. "We'll overthrow Megatron. We'll—"

The comm shrieked.

Skyfire stared at him, optics wide. "Starscream…" he shook himself and turned to the comm. "We'll talk about this in a minute." He opened the channel. "Skyfire here." 

This time, the male human's voice came through loud and clear. "Skyfire," it said. "Is Priya there? Is she with you?"

Skyfire frowned. "No. Isn't she at Arsia Mons?"

There was a beat of silence. "She was last night. Now she's gone, so's one of the sky-speeders."

Skyfire's wings tensed. "You've commed her?"

"We've tried. Phobos is fried, though, and when I've called her on the ground-comm I haven't been able to get through. It's working for everyone else, so either she's somewhere the ground-comm doesn't reach, or…" The human trailed off.

"What about the sky-speeder's transponder signal?" Skyfire asked. "Have you been able to pick that up?"

"Not so far," Garry replied. "We sent an unmanned drone, but we've lost contact with it, too. We're not sure if that's due to interference from the storm, or…" his voice trailed off, blanketed in static "…gone into Noctis to find that robot of hers."

The storm. A sliver of nameless dread wormed its way into Starscream's chassis as he remembered the implacable, lightning-spattered wall of brown murk he'd witnessed yesterday. 

"Cerberus?" Skyfire was asking. "Did it run into trouble last night?"

"I guess? It was veering off-course when Phobos crapped out last night. I told her to wait and call you in the morning, but I guess she…" The human paused as if catching a breath. "Priya and I had an argument yesterday. It was… kind of about you, Skyfire, and it was also kind of about Cerberus. I… said some things I shouldn't have. I'm worried she left in the night because she thought I'd try and stop her. Actually, she was probably right about that."

"It's my fault too," Skyfire said. "I promised her I'd check Phobos last night, but other things came up, and—" he broke off, glancing at Starscream. "Look, I'll be there in two breems. Don't send anyone into the Valles 'til I get there."

There was a crackle of laughter on the other end of the line. "Bit late… Skyfire," the human said, his voice swimming in static. "I'm almost there. Starting… descent now."

"No, stop!" Skyfire said. "The Valles is too dangerous for humans in this weather. Wait for me, I'll—"

The line had gone dead.

"Go after her," Skyfire finished. His hands tightened into fists. "I have to go," he said, barely sparing a glance for Starscream before he began pulling up weather readouts on the comm screen. "Looks like the Valles was still clear when these were taken. At least that's something."

" _Is_ it?" Starscream objected. "These images were taken over a joor ago! Anything could have happened since then."

"I know," Skyfire answered grimly. "The storm could have engulfed the whole canyon by now. Priya could be out there, stranded in the middle of it. Either of them could be. I'll have to wing it."

"Skyfire!" Starscream grabbed his arm as he tried to step past. "You can't—"

"I have to." Skyfire gently disengaged from Starscream's grip and crossed to a storage compartment. "If I do a suborbital hop, I should be able to avoid the worst of it. With any luck—"

"Luck is not your strongest suit!" Starscream snapped, striding after him. "Your engines could get clogged with dust! You could crash!"

"I have special shielding for that," Skyfire replied, pulling items from the compartment. Starscream noted oxygen tanks, a pair of human-sized exosuits, and a box with a red cross on it. Human-rescuing supplies, presumably. "The storm is no danger to me thanks to the low atmospheric density," Skyfire added, "but the dust and lightning could be dangerous for a human."

"Oh really? What if _you_ get hit by lightning? What's _that_ going to do to your hyperdrive?"

"My hyperdrive is fried anyway," Skyfire said with a rueful smile. "A little lightning isn't going to make it worse." He subspaced the items and started for the door. 

Starscream darted into his path. "Your navigational system could be next! A particularly powerful jolt could even short out your spark! And what about visibility? You could become disoriented and plow into the canyon wall! Have you ever flown into solid rock? It's not _fun,_ Skyfire! It's—"

"Starscream." Skyfire caught Starscream's hands as Starscream threw them up and clasped them gently, but firmly, between his own. "I'll be okay, I promise. I'll use my sensors."

"Sensors aren't infallible!"

"I've flown in these storms before," Skyfire continued, now stroking Starscream's hands. "They look far worse than they actually are. I'll be fine." He paused. "Why don't you come with me?"

Starscream recoiled. "Risk my life for a _human_?" he demanded, yanking his arms free. "Are you defective?"

His spark was racing, his vents coming fast and shallow as he backed toward the door, trying to place himself in Skyfire's path. The door snapped open as he drew near, and he felt a rush of cool air against his back. Was it his imagination, or could he already hear the wind howling outside?

Skyfire sighed. "I know you're worried," he said softly, "and I understand why. But that doesn't change the fact that I have to go. I _have_ to," he repeated, stepping around Starscream to enter the passage. "My friend is in danger, and I need to find her."

"And how are you going to do that?" Starscream demanded, breaking into a trot to match Skyfire's longer strides as he hurried along the passage. "What makes you think she's even still alive?"

"I have to believe she's alive."

"So you'll just keep looking for her and looking for her until—"

Starscream broke off. They'd reached the antechamber, and he was sure, now, that he could hear the wind battering the outpost. His spark twisted as his dream from the previous night came rushing back. He could almost feel that long-ago storm driving him to his knees, ripping his voice from him. 

_Never again,_ he swore to himself. _Not if I have anything to say about it._

But he didn't. He had nothing to say about it whatsoever. Skyfire was going after his fleshy pal no matter what. He was about to risk his life for a creature whose own natural lifespan was less than a vorn. Which made him an Autobot, through and through. There was no arguing with him, no hope of making him see reason—and certainly, no chance of convincing him to switch sides.

"I'll be fine," Skyfire whispered. He was reaching out now, but Starscream flinched away, avoiding his touch. "We can talk about… everything… when I get back."

"Do what you have to," Starscream said, kicking off from the floor and rising on his antigravs. "I won't be here when you get back. I'm sure you can understand why."

He transformed and fired his engines, flipping over in a three-point roll. His gyros responded perfectly. He was ready, and… it was time. _Goodbye, Skyfire,_ he sent.

He rocketed down the grand entrance hall. The outer doors opened for him, and he shot out into… sunlight. That was unexpected. The orange sky was clear apart from a few wispy cirrus clouds drifting high in the atmo, and the storm, though visible, was little more than a brown smear on the southwestern horizon. How could that be? The wind had been so loud, he could have sworn the storm was right on top of the base. Why had it seemed so close?

It didn't matter. He'd said his final goodbye. It was time for him to fly back to Earth, back to where he now belonged. He couldn't prevent himself from looking back, though, watching for a pale form to emerge from the base. When Skyfire did emerge, he was still in root mode. He hesitated for a moment, and Starscream imagined he was looking up toward where he was. Was he about to change his mind? Would he follow?

But of course, he wouldn't. It wasn't in his nature. Starscream had known that from the start, but he hadn't wanted to accept it. He watched as the large, white form shifted. Bathed in the sun's wintry glow, Skyfire looked almost transparent, as if the red tundra was visible through his form. As if he was no more than a cirrus cloud himself, his memory fast evaporating.

It was for the best, Starscream told himself. All for the best. He gunned his thrusters, pointing his nosecone toward space. As he did so, his comm lit up. It was a call-sig that he didn't recognize, though that probably meant it was Soundwave, and that he'd masked his signature in some way.

"Starscream here," he said irritably. "I'm coming! You don't have to keep—"

::Staaar… screeeam,:: whispered a dry husk of a voice. 

Starscream caught his vents. He _knew_ that voice. It was completely impossible for him to be hearing it right now, but that had never stopped her in the past, and he supposed there was no reason it should now.

"What do _you_ want?" he snarled.

::Alive,:: the voice replied. ::Your Skyfire is… alive.::

"Of course he's alive!" Starscream barked, hating himself for taking the voice seriously enough to even respond to it. Clearly, it was a figment of his imagination, yet he couldn't help himself. "His being alive isn't really the issue at this point!"

Though Nightspark might not be aware of that, he supposed. That idea appealed to him. It would be nice to imagine that Sigil Nightspark, left-hand speaker of Illuminus Trine and ninth member of the ancient Vosian High Council—and his would-be mentor—wasn't omniscient. Then again, if she _was_ a figment, she would know everything he did anyway.

"Leave me alone!" he snapped. He tried to close his comm channel but it remained open, hissing and crackling with static.

::You are alone,:: the voice said. ::Completely alone.::

There was a burst of static—or was that a cackle of laughter? Then the channel _did_ close, all on its own. Starscream transformed and hovered in the high, thin stratosphere, glancing around. There was no one in sight, least of all Nightspark. Which meant that she was right: he _was_ alone. 

He glanced down at the planet below. From this height, the storm was obvious. It blanketed much of the southern hemisphere now, obscuring the Valles utterly. And Skyfire… his ridiculously misguided, soft-sparked mate was down there right now, looking for two small humans somewhere in the middle of… _that_. Alone.

Frag.

Starscream transformed back into his alt, and dove for the Valles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note to let you know that the next chapter might be slightly delayed. I'm working on a story for the [Transformers Summer Gift Exchange](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/TFSummerEX2018/profile), and it's turning into a novella! Therefore, I've given myself an extra week to work on Chapter 14 of Scars, with a tentative posting date of August 22. I will update this note if anything changes. In the meantime, "The Hot Wax Hypothetical" is scheduled for an update on July 27, and keep an eye out for my upcoming novella! I can't say much about it for now, except that it's almost completely different from anything you've seen from me so far. (I say 'almost' because there's still sex in it. Obviously. ;-) I may also take slightly longer than usual in answering comments, but please know they are much appreciated, and I'll get to them as soon as I possibly can. Thanks for understanding!
> 
> UPDATE 7/26/18: Looks like I won't be posting an update of _Hot Wax_ tomorrow after all. I'm still snowed under with my other project, but will do my best to update Wax sometime next week.

**Author's Note:**

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